Chapter 8

"Dinner was great, Mom. Can I help with dishes?" Judd asked.

Patty waved him off. "You get Autumn home. She's had a long day, and I know you have, too."

Home. Judd chose not to analyze exactly how much he liked the idea of Autumn being included as part of that.

Autumn stacked plates beside the sink. "I want to swing by my place and pick up my car. I don't like being dependent on everybody else to get around, and I've got at least a few things in it."

Judd hesitated. He had multiple reasons for not wanting to head over there, not the least of which was that the sight of what was left of her duplex would probably be a serious emotional sucker punch.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"Why? Is my car considered evidence?"

"No. I'm just not sure you're ready to go back there yet. It's pretty rough."

"I don't think there is a right time to go see the burned-out shell of my home, Judd. I'd rather get it over with. Besides, I'm headed back to work tomorrow, and I want to drive myself."

His brain was already reviewing the security of the library. It was minimal, with multiple points of access. He didn't like it. "Should you be going back so soon?"

"Doesn't matter. I need the hours. I can't afford not to work as many as Mitzi will give me."

Of course, she'd need to recoup her losses however she could. Judd understood that. But the practical side warred with the personal as he tried to find some other rational reason to say no instead of admitting the real reason he didn't want her mobile.

His silence stretched on too long and Autumn's eyes narrowed. "You think if I have my car, I'll bolt."

Sometimes Judd really hated how easily they read each other. "You were pretty hell bent on leaving, and I can't imagine this has exactly been a motivation to stay." She was the victim, not a material witness, so he couldn't order her not to leave town.

Autumn took a breath, clearly trying to find the right words. "Putting aside the money, which I no longer have to put into moving, I'd never leave without saying something first. I couldn't walk away without saying goodbye when I was seventeen, and I can't do it now. Am I scared? Yeah. I'd be stupid not to be. And I know that right now, I'm safer with you than anywhere else. I swear I won't do anything foolish. I just want my car."

He hadn't truly realized how much he'd believed she'd leave until the threat of it loosened its fist around his heart. "Alright. We'll go pick it up."

They loaded the suitcases with her new stuff into the trunk of the cruiser and put Boudreaux in the backseat. On the drive over to her place, he asked, "Is there anything you want me to pick up for the house? Some girl thing for the bathroom? Some particular groceries? I haven't even looked at the fridge." He wanted her to be comfortable. More, he wanted her to accept that it was her home now and embrace it.

"We'll figure it out. Listen, Judd, why don't I talk to Mary Alice and explain this? She's bound to be uncomfortable with the idea of me living with you, even under these circumstances."

Shit. "That's not necessary."

"Really. I don't want to cause any more problems between you two."

"You can't."

"I'm not trying to get all up in your business. If you think it'll do more harm than good, I won't talk to her."

Judd sighed. "No, I mean you can't cause any problems between us. We broke up."

He could feel her staring at him. "Broke up. When?"

"Last night."

"Before or after I called you?"

"It doesn't matter, it's done."

"It matters to me. Which was it, Judd?"

This was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but he knew she'd never let it go. "After."

Her head thunked back against the seat. "God, Judd, I'm sorry. This is all my fault."

"No," he snapped. "This is not your fault."

"But if I hadn't called - "

"You did exactly what you were supposed to do. If you hadn't called me directly, dispatch would have. And if it had been dispatch that called instead of you, I'd have been beyond pissed, not to mention worried. We broke up because I took her for granted. That's not on you."

Whatever she might've said died on her tongue as they pulled into the empty drive of the duplex.

"Oh my God. It's worse than I remember from last night."

Judd reached across to take her hand, but she was already climbing out of the car. Well, at least she'd dropped the subject of Mary Alice.

Autumn took half a dozen steps toward the house then stopped and wrapped both arms around her middle. What little color she'd had faded from her cheeks. Judd let Boudreaux out with a firm order to heel and joined her, resting a hand on her shoulder in silent support. She didn't turn into him, and he didn't know what to think about it.

"How bad is Riley's side?"

"There's smoke and water damage, but most of it is fine. She'll have to move, obviously, but Liam's nearly finished renovating their new place."

"Good. That's good. After everything she went through with the pharmacy flooding last year, I couldn't bear to cause more problems for her."

"This isn't on you either. It's on whoever lit the place up. You being a target doesn't make this your fault."

"It still feels like my fault."

Boudreaux barked a quick warning yip as a truck pulled up to the curb. Judd bit back his next argument as Charlie climbed out.

"What're you doing back here?" Judd called.

"Wanted to double check something before I called you." He strode over. "Since you're here, I'll show you directly. I've got extra turnout gear in my truck. Keep you from getting ash all over your uniform."

"Charlie, let me introduce you. This is Autumn Buchanan. Autumn, Fire Marshal Charlie Hammond."

The two shook hands. "Real sorry about this, Miss Buchanan."

"Thank you." She took a step away and Judd dropped his hand. "I don't suppose by some miracle my laptop survived?"

"Afraid not," Charlie said.

Autumn's shoulder's slumped. She looked back to Judd. "I'm just going to go. Unless you need me for something?" This she addressed to Charlie.

"No ma'am."

"Judd, if you'll pop the trunk so I can get my stuff, I'll get out of the way."

He transferred her suitcases to her car. "Why don't you take Boudreaux on home? I don't know how long I'll be here."

"Sure."

"There's an officer on duty out there if you need anything. I'll see you back at the house, okay?"

"Yeah. C'mon, Boudreaux."

His dog leapt into her car. Judd watched them drive away.

"So it's that kinda personal, is it?" Charlie asked.

Judd turned his attention back to the other man. "Excuse me?"

Charlie cocked a brow. "Got the vic staying at your place?"

"We've been best friends since we were six." If he'd been from Wishful, that's all Judd would've needed to say. Everyone here knew the history.

"I've got best friends. Don't look at any of them like that."

Judd bristled. "You had something relevant to the investigation to show me?"

Charlie lifted his hands in truce. "Yeah. Come on and suit up. We'll look before we lose the light."

* * *

Autumn should've gone straight back to Judd's house. Just hauled her stuff upstairs and curled up with Boudreaux, while her cloud drive synced. She needed to get back to the book. Estimate a release date and start working on marketing plans. God knew, she needed the distraction of losing herself in a world where she had some control.

Instead, she found herself driving across town to Mary Alice's house. Which was foolish on so many levels. Judd was finally single, and, with the investigation ongoing, he'd hardly have time to jump into things with someone else. She could finally have that conversation with him. It was what she wanted. What she'd wanted when she'd tried to talk to him at the fountain.

But breaking up hadn't been his choice. He hadn't chosen her. He'd been dumped because of her. It wasn't the first time, and had it been anyone else, Autumn would've just let it go. But he loved Mary Alice enough to buy her a ring. As much as it gutted her to do it, she had to try and make things right for him. He'd given her so much of himself. The least she could do was try to give this back.

Mary Alice answered the door in yoga pants, a pair of reading glasses shoved up on top of her head. Her eyes widened at the sight of Autumn.

"Look, I know I'm the last person you expected or probably even wanted to see right now, but can I come in?"

"Sure." She opened the door further.

"I can't stay long. Boudreaux's in the car." Hearing his name, the dog woofed out the cracked window. "I'll be back in a minute, boy."

Autumn stepped inside and felt the awkwardness descend like a boom. Determined, she moved on into the little living room.

"I'm really sorry about your house."

Oh no. Autumn couldn't handle the well-intentioned politeness. She'd say this and then get out. "Thanks. But I'm not here to talk about that. Judd told me you broke up last night."

Mary Alice crossed her arms with a disapproving glare Autumn felt certain she'd leveled on her third graders. "Are you here to gloat?"

The whip of insult almost had her marching straight out the door. But she stayed because she understood, in a way Judd never could, exactly how his girlfriends saw her. "No. I'm here to ask you to give him another chance."

"Another chance?"

Autumn took advantage of the complete and utter shock to push through. "I know he's been busy and tied up lately, and a lot of that is, unfortunately, because of me. As long as the investigation is open, that's not going to change. But you're important to him. More important than any other girlfriend before you. And I know that if you take him back, give him another shot, he'll prove it."

Mary Alice frowned. "You're seriously standing there telling me I'm important to him. You."

"Yes, me. Are you really going to stand there and tell me that your breaking up with him had nothing to do with me?"

"No. It had everything to do with you. I just don't understand why you'd be here asking me to take him back."

"Because it isn't what you think between us. I'm not a threat."

Mary Alice crossed the room to pick up a glass of wine from the coffee table. "Oh, but you are, Autumn."

"We aren't...we've never been anything more than friends." Never mind that she'd wanted to change that mere days ago. That she still wanted to change it.

"Oh, I'm not worried about that. I know he was faithful on that point, at least. But his life revolves around you, and that's just not something I can live with anymore."

Of course she couldn't. Autumn's whole relationship with Judd was absolutely toxic if they weren't actually together. She recognized that, even if he couldn't. "You won't have to. Not for long, anyway."

"You're still planning to leave?"

"It'll take me longer now, thanks to the fire. But yes. There's nothing between me and Judd." Her brain chose that inauspicious moment to remind her of those quiet minutes in his bed this morning, where that had been almost the literal truth. Swallowing hard, she shut the door on the memory. "The fact is, you matter to him. Trust me, I have insider information on this. If my father hadn't been released from prison, I think he would've already talked to you by now."

"Talked to me."

"About your relationship." Come on, read between the lines. Don't make me say it and spoil this.

One blonde brow arched. "You mean the kind of conversation that often takes place at the nicest restaurant in town? Where he apologizes for working too much and being distant and says he wants to make our relationship a priority? That kind of conversation?"

Oh God. Had she really called and interrupted his proposal? Autumn closed her eyes for a moment and cursed her crap timing. "How far did he get?"

"Far enough to pull out the box and make it clear we both thought we were having a very different conversation."

"What do you mean?"

"I thought he was proposing. He thought he was digging himself out of the doghouse."

That made no sense. "But...I thought he bought you an engagement ring."

"Oh no. That would've indicated we were on the same page." She crossed her arms. "He gave me the dozen yellow roses of bracelets."

"The what?"

Mary Alice held up a finger and disappeared down the hall. A few moments later, she came back with a long, slim jewelry case. Flipping open the top, she handed it over.

Autumn stared at the simple, unadorned twist of silver and gold. Every gift, every trinket he'd ever given her over the years had made her feel seen and cherished. But this...It wasn't ugly, exactly, but there was nothing personal about it. No detail that said, I see you. You're special to me.

She'd wound herself up for days thinking the door was closing for good, and she'd had it all wrong. This bracelet said clearer than any words that he didn't love Mary Alice. And she knew it.

"That's...wow. I knew he didn't do jewelry but, damn." Did the man know nothing?

"I'd thought maybe you helped him pick it out."

Autumn handed the box back. "If he'd solicited my opinion, I'd have steered him in a direction that wasn't going to piss you off."

Mary Alice studied Autumn as if she were a puzzle that made no sense. "You would have, wouldn't you?" She shook her head with a wry smile. "I really wanted to hate you. I wanted to put this all on your head. All his other girlfriends did. But you really do try just to be a friend to him."

"It would be shitty of me to be anything else."

"But you love him."

It didn't surprise Autumn that Mary Alice knew it. Probably everyone in town knew it except for Judd himself. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't. I want him to be happy." Even if it's with someone who isn't me.

She picked up the wine again, giving Autumn a long look over the rim of the glass. "You really want Judd to be happy? Go after him yourself."

Autumn stared at her, so taken aback she could only sputter, "Excuse me?"

"Oh, don't look at me like that. You're both selling yourselves short if either of you ever thinks you're going to be happy with anybody else. No one else could ever compete with the bond between you."

She'd thought so herself for years, but hearing it so plainly stated by someone she knew loved him left Autumn feeling off balance.

"I don't know what his reasons are for not crossing that line with you, but I think it's time you pushed him over it. If you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

"Why are you doing this?" Autumn asked.

Mary Alice polished off the wine. "Because I love him, too, and I want him to be happy. You'll make him happy and whole in a way I never could."

It was as close to permission as she was ever going to get and the idea of it terrified her. Because that wasn't something she was prepared to discuss with Mary Alice, Autumn edged toward the door. "I should go."

"It's probably best if you don't mention this conversation to Judd."

"No arguments there." Autumn stepped back out into the cooling night. "For what it's worth, I really am sorry about the bracelet."

"Eh, I'll pawn it and put the money toward something fun. Maybe a weekend out of town with my girlfriends."

"I wish you all the best."

Mary Alice studied her. "I believe you mean that. So thanks. And I'll wish you good luck. Judd's a stubborn man. You're going to need it."