PROLOGUE

I still remember that day....

The dark cloud scattered on the sky, sign of a heavy rain will occur in a few moment.

There's a room that filled of people wearing black mourning to someone. A loud voice of grief and broken hearts awakens the darkness and loneliness of that day.

"RUPERT!" cried of a lonely mother, tightly holding the frame with a photo of a guy in it. "Rupert, my child.... my dear child." the sadness made the air heavier. "Ruperrrrttttt!" scream of the old lady, with full of pain due to his son death.

I was standing outside of the room crying on my own. I felt everything falls down upon me. I'm almost dumbfounded hearing the grief of Rupert mom. My heart broke into pieces while looking at his mom.

"Rupert." I secretly cried. The hot tears flowed on my eyes took a glimpse of Rupert picture at the top of his urn. It so hard for me to breath and guilt embracing me.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" a loud voice of interrogation echoing in Rupert funeral. "YOU BITCH! HOW THICK SKINNED YOU ARE SHOWING YOUR FACE IN RUPERT'S FUNERAL!"

All of the people in the room dropped their look on me. Their looks of disgusting and shamefulness telling me how sinner I'am to them. I almost freeze standing there, my voices left me with tremendous guilt inside me. Their murmured spread around and I felt the darkeness swallowed me.

PAAAAAK!

I felt a hot and a painful sensation on my cheeks that made me loose the sense of hearing. "BECAUSE OF YOU! WE CAN'T SEE OUR POOR RUPERT. BECAUSE OF YOU! RUPERT..... WILL NEVER BE WITH US." and the elder began to cry. Right, it's Rupert grand mother who he loved so much.

"Is that Rupert's girlfriend? I heard she used Rupert's feeling. And leave him behind after."

"What? So she is the reason why Rupert die?"

"How impudent of her to done that on Rupert."

"She don't deserve to come here and show how boldness her sinned is."

Right...

It's all my fault, why Rupert left in this world at the young age. Why everybody is heartbroken.

Rupert Eusebio, before he became my boyfriend he once my childhood friend. We are both entered on same Senior Highschool, also we are on the same grade and classroom. But not like the other couple in school we are more on argument and fighting. Rupert always bullied me, he loves to make pranks me all day. I thought he is insane and a completely psycho. He was a total madman you know.

But one day...

Rupert starts to walk away from me. He become a total strangers, he never bullied me even making pranks or joke to me. We rarely see each other face or hearing each other voice on school. Until, he came to me with full of hatred on his eyes. He threw his chair in the floor and started to tormented me. He cursed me to the point he hates ne with all his heart. And walk away.

Then, another day come.....

The existence of Rupert never been found. A lot of rumor spreading on the school that I cheated on Rupert. And I became the center of the bully of other student. I always went home alone with scratch and bruises but still no Rupert to be founded.

Until....

"Hey everyone! Have you heard the news?"

"What is it?"

"Rupert is... dead."

The word "DEAD" echoing to my soul. I rushed to go out the school and went to Rupert's home but his not there. And their good neighbor told me about his dead and the place of his funeral.

"Rupert died by commiting suicide."

My world shaken so hard to the point I lost the thought of everything. I felt ashame to myself, I didn't do anything to fixed the gap on us. And clarify the misunderstanding between us. Until my feet sent me in his funeral. Despite of all the pain, rumored and sadness deep within me. Having the thought of Rupert's death made me feel drowning to my own abyss.

"Rupert." voice of his mom, touching my cheeks with caressing. "Until the last day, he still loves you with all his heart. He never blamed you or anybody on what happen until today." and our tears starting to shed again. "I'm so happy that you're here to see Rupert. But it's not the right time for us to accept the fact that he will never be here. Please... for Rupert sake.... Leave us to mourn for him." begged of his mom while giving me a journal of Rupert.

The pouring rain comforts me with my sorrow while walking on the side road. It's cold but the rain didn't bothered me. It hurts. It really hurts to bear. Everyone hates me and despise me because of Rupert's death but he and his parent didn't blame me.

"Rupert.... how dare you did this to me? You're so unfair walking away with me. And dare to leave me behind quickly. How dare you... how dare you make me this hurt and sad." I cried. "How dare you stop bullying me? I missed you Rupert.... I really miss you. If there's a chance to meet you again. I will cherish you, I will never let things happened that made us seperate from each other."

- A wishful day