Chapter Fourteen: Alavira P.O.V.

Standing in a massive garden with Kieren in the late morning light is something I hadn't planned on doing, but these past few days have been testing me nonstop. He's shown me the flowers, herbs and trees taking his time to explain each one, or at least what they're names are. He seems distant as he does so, and I chalk it up to him having a lot on his mind while we're out here. Letting the silence between us grow as his demeanor slowly changes, and seems as though he's having a different conversation entirely. Looking over the different things here instead, getting to know their smells and colors, the feels of every last flower and herb. The birds chirp happily in the trees, while the distant sound of a busy city carries through the valley.

Kieren seems to be done with whatever is happening as his eyes finally meet mine when I turn to him and smile softly. He looks like he's calculating something for a moment.

"You look like you're trying to figure out something… anything I can help with?" I extend my help, knowing full well he probably doesn't need it.

"Would you like to sit and talk for a moment, little one?" He offers and extends a hand to me, to help me step back over a large root that sticks up out of the ground.

"That sounds nice." I follow him to a large fallen tree, that has been partially carved into a bench to sit comfortably while looking into the wild garden.

"You seem to like it out here. In the garden, that is. It calmed you at the palace also. May I ask, why?" He looks over to me for a moment, before looking at the garden then back to me again.

"I feel more at home in nature. It's where I've spent most of my life. Trial and error has taught me a lot on what I can and can't do out here. What is edible and what I need to stay far away from. I don't have anyone to impress or listen to out here. I've always been free in the wild, surrounded by plants and animals." I explain calmly. Taking a deep breath and turning to look at him as well. The silence stretches for a while as I wrestle on trying to ask him the question I've been dying to know.

"You can ask." He looks down to me with a raised brow, as I look at him a bit shocked that he knew I was wanting to ask him something. "You look like you're about to explode if you don't get whatever it is out." He chuckles lightly.

"I know it's none of my business, and you have every right to not answer me, and I understand if you don't. What happened at the house? You looked like a ghost and I was worried." I admit, making him turn to the flowers again with a long, drawn out sigh.

"Suluk didn't tell you?" The question is soft, full of unspoken emotions as I just shake my head. Another breathy chuckle leaves him. "Of course not. He's a good man. He wouldn't tell other people's secrets like that." He rubs his hands on his thighs as he takes a moment. "It's a long story."

"I have time." I look out to the flowers with him, hoping that makes him feel more comfortable. I don't get an amused chuckle like I expect. He doesn't react at all, as his hands just grip his knees and he takes a few deep breaths.

"I used to be married. Her name was Millicent. We had been friends since she moved to the city. On the other side of the castle are large mountains that tower over everything you'll soon see. Those of us who prefer our dragon forms stay there. If a dragon is a 'purebred' then they are usually born and raised up there, until they turn 20 winters old and can control their urges. We are basic creatures when we are born, so it's hard for us to be around others that are different when we are that young. We don't understand our strength or that we can't eat anything that walks by when we are that small." He chuckles and looks to his hands for a moment before his eyes shine with a memory.

"It would seem like a harsh, cold environment to others. A cold, damp, hole in a cave that a child is born and raised in. However, you have to understand that a dragon that is new to this world is like a feral creature. It has a lot to learn and is only controlled by instincts, so their parents have to teach them for the first 20 years of their life. Or they have to stay there and after that make the choice to learn and discover a new world on their own, those are the options that we have when born. After about 14 years we start learning quickly, understanding our instincts and how to control them a little bit. Once we become of age we can travel a bit more to see the world around us if we choose. Some come out of hiding and at least travel to the city to see if they like it.

"Others will never leave the mountains, too scared to come down or preferring the only thing they know, unless told otherwise by the royal family. Suluk and I came down without our parents' blessings to do so, wanting to know what waited on the other side of those gates. Big ambitions of the world beyond led us to sneak out one night, shift into our human forms for the first time, and walk through those black spinel doors and step into the unknown world that waited beyond. We had finally started getting into the life of being around other species, controlling our urges, and learning to be happy with so much happening around us. Things were looking up only 10 years into our life here. That's when I met her, my sweet Milli.

"She was the most beautiful person I'd ever laid my eyes on. We became friends and I found out quickly she had just moved to the city with her twin brother just 2 winters before we met. We all became friends and things were great. Suluk and I had just been made into soldiers, just finished our training, when I had finally asked Milli out on a date. Sul wouldn't let me live it down for several years after, that it took me so long to finally ask her." He chuckles softly, and that's the first time I've seen him genuinely look happy since he started talking about this.

"That sounds like him." I chuckle also, making him smile a little more before looking back at the flowers.

"We went on several dates; outings with Suluk and Max, her twin. We were all inseparable for a time. It didn't take long to know that she was the woman I was going to marry, the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. When I asked her to marry me, that was one of the happiest days of my life. She barely let me pull the jewelry out before she jumped into my arms, with the biggest smile and said, 'It's about time!'. We celebrated with our friends and what little family was around here for nearly a week."

"That sounds wonderful." I sigh out, trying to picture the stoic, hard man beside me happy and smiling. He just nods and stares unwavering at the garden, watching a butterfly wander around a few flowers before landing on a large petal.

"It was…. Not long after that Max decided he wanted to join the warriors as well. I'm sure it was because Suluk and I were doing it and he wanted to be around us as much as possible. The three of us were like brothers. We were so excited when Maxs training was left to us, we had just started training new recruits at that time and his squad was the first we'd get to try out on. We were still trying to figure things out, but we were doing good! Halfway through his training Milli and I had gotten married. I missed two weeks of his training, but Suluk had no problem being the commander for a while." He chuckles and I can't stop myself from doing so too. Imaging that large, brute run around and yell orders seems to fit him almost perfectly in my head.

"I'm sure he was thrilled to be in charge." I manage to giggle out. Making Kieren turn to me with amusement.

"Oh he sure was. Do you know what the first thing he asked me when I had returned was?"

"Hmm…. was it something about letting him take over, so you could go home early to your new wife?" I joke around making him laugh as well.

"Close. He looked me dead in my eyes, placed his hands on my shoulders and asked, out loud in front of everyone. "So did you make me an uncle while you were gone? I think I'm going to be the best one!!" To say the other soldiers got a kick out of that would not do it justice. That's one of the few times in my life that I had turned beet red." He laughs at the memory and I can't help the tears rolling down my cheeks as I laugh hard.

"He said that in front of everyone?!" I manage to wheeze out.

"Everyone!" He leans back into the tree bench. The smile slowly fading from his lips. "We were happy, and in love. Things were looking up. That house you'll be staying in…. I built it with Suluk as a wedding present for Milli. It was beautiful and everything she wanted in a home. She filled that house with laughter, love, kindness and all manner of small trinkets I still to this day do not understand. That large, round window used to stay open and she would set food out on it to cool, or give to the children who would stop by to say hello.

"I married her fully aware that we would never have children. She had an accident as a child that left her unable to do so. One night she laid in bed and stressed so much about not being able to give me a family. I had told her many times before that it did not bother me, like it did her. I was happy to just be by her side and share our love for each other for the rest of our long lives. Soon after we opened our house to the kids who would come around to play in the river and forest near our house. We made friends with nearly everyone in the city, Milli had a way of getting to know everyone. The home she turned that house into was one out of a fairytale. We were happy for nearly a century before things took a turn." He stops and just sits there quietly.

I don't move, don't make a sound as I let him process what he wants to say. Instead offering comfort as I place a hand on top of his. Ready to move it at any moment if he wished. To my surprise he doesn't push my hand away, but instead reaches his thumb up over mine. The only sign I got from him that he wanted me to stay there, to thank me for the support I offered.

"The three of us men went out on a mission. When a dragon forms an unbreakable bond with another, something called a link is formed. It means we can talk to each other through our minds, and share emotions to a certain extent. We had waited, but it never came naturally. So being young, and stupid we thought it would be a good idea to try a different way that we had heard about. When stuck in dangerous situations with each other the link will appear to help those you care for. We were–" He clears his throat and I feel him tense under my hand. "We were on a mission, we took it eagerly to prove ourselves and see if the link would snap into place. It was dangerous and stupid.

"We set out and everything was fine for a while. We had gotten separated from each other. I had tried and tried to find them, but it was nearly impossible in the middle of battle. After everything was said and done I finally found Suluk again, we both searched for days until we found Max…. It was too late, however. He had been fatally wounded in battle and when we found him he had already been taken back into the universe. That was the first time since I had turned into an adult that I had cried and so had Sul. We brought his body back to be properly sent off, we even took upon ourselves to properly build his pyre and obtain his cloth and coin.

"After his funeral Milli wasn't the same. How could anyone expect her to be after losing a twin? She became quiet and distant, she would barely eat unless I made her. I loved her still, even when she stopped speaking and smiling. Even when she blamed me for Max's death and turned her hate filled gaze upon me. I never stopped loving while she slowly stopped loving me. I had blamed myself for his death as well, and she needed someone to take her anger out on. Soon enough she stopped sleeping in the same bed, and couldn't even bring herself to look at me. The house she made into home slowly started turning back into just a house.

"One day I went out to the city to get supplies, I wasn't gone for long. That didn't matter however, when I had returned she was gone. I searched everywhere for her, even into the mountains. I travel with Suluk now in hopes that one day I'll find her still." His voice slowly trails off as he speaks his eyes become hazy as he looks off, not really seeing anything in front of him.

"How long have you been searching since?" The question falls out of my mouth before I can stop it. Tears threaten to fall again as my hand tightens on his just slightly.

"I've been looking for a little over 400 years now. I haven't found any sign of her yet, but I won't give up until I do."

"What if she's no longer alive?" Those tears betray me as they fall and I gasp at the question that just hangs thickly between us. "I'm so sorry Kier-"

"That same question has crossed my mind as well. I can't bring myself to believe it yet. I can't give up yet, my soul won't let me rest until I know what happened to her. To know if she's found happiness somewhere else, or if the worst has happened and I can pay my respects." His hand turns over in mine to hold on tightly, as if he needs the reassurance that he's still here with me, as much as I do.

"I'm so sorry Kieren. I can't even begin to imagine how hard that is on you." He looks over to me, his gaze finally connecting with mine. Surprise shows in his eyes as his other hand comes up to wipe tears away.

"Why do you cry for me, little one?" His voice is soft, surprised.

"You have been through so much, and yet you still look for her. It breaks my heart to know your pain." Voice cracking and sounding pathetic as I admit that to him.

"I will admit I'm surprised to know that a human who hates dragons, as you claim to, feels sympathy for a dragon such as myself."

"I'm not heartless." Is what I manage to say, but he understands the unspoken emotions that are left in there. His eyes are understanding as he looks me over, his shadows slowly trailing off into the garden as the sun rises further.

"You asked me once at the human palace, why it looks like I just move around as if I'm a ghost sometimes. The only answer I can think of is that I am simply a host to a haunting. Ghosts without corpses still linger in my flesh, holding tightly onto a love they keep wanting. I am bound by them, until I know what happened to her." He answers simply as he stands and takes a flower from his shadow in the garden. Placing it gently behind my ear with a soft smile. "You remind me of her in some ways. Strong willed, and resilient when cornered. You know how odd it is to be haunted by someone who is still alive. I saw it in your face when you spoke of your father with the king. We have more in common than I thought."

He offers me a hand, and I look up at him confused before following his gaze to Suluk and Zipporah who are slowly walking over toward us.

"He's a good man, you know. He's loyal and true. He's the only one I could count on and talk to when Milli left. He never judged me when I had my outburst, or while I picked the pieces back up. He's a good man, brother and best friend. It has been an honor to be by his side as we have gotten older." Kieren admits and it makes me look at them both in a new light.