Wanted to be loved

And the teacher had realized once again how ignorant a family could be that thought that the only salvation for them would be money.

The former left amid the anger he felt when he saw how uninterested both parents were in their child and once again he felt so much pity for a wonderful child like Ria. He had also spoken to the woman when he went home that evening, he had expressed so much regret that God had not forgiven them a child like her.

They both desperately wanted to have children but never succeeded, even after so many years of marriage.

And in Ria's house the doom had broken out again, and again she was to blame for all this.

As if it was what had caused herself all the bruising. Ria amid tears of despair had grabbed the book to read as she always did when she was tired of the exhausting life. She huddled in the corner of her room with the book in her hand and began to read.

Between those lines she seemed to be able to leave that house. She entered her world, in that world where no one could torment her, where she could breathe freely, smiling. She entered the world of books, the world of words and love. But of course that happiness did not last long, because the morning came very quickly and once again the wings of the bird closed between a cage of cruelty were broken.

The arms, dreams, desires of every part of this child were torn every morning into thousands of parts by the man who was supposed to be her hero. She had looked at his face every day in the hope that from it she would understand the reason why he treated her so rudely...

His big eyes, nose, hair, beard, every feature of the man he had loved so much that he loved her, hugged her even once and told her he loved her, that he was proud of her. But of course this remained just a dream which was never realized during her years.

She had wanted so much to ask them about everything; for the fact that they tortured her, that they had never tried to express love to her, that they always blamed her for everything that happened there, between those faint walls of that house that seemed to her like a cage where they locked her up tortured her fragile soul.

-Really why did they hate the little one so much?

-Was she really to blame for the disasters that had struck her family?

-Or should there always be a culprit and the culprit in our case was the youngest of the family ?!

Ria never got the answers to the questions that plagued her throughout her childhood and perhaps even now, when she had again managed to smell the stinking scent of that old house.

It was old even then, 13 years ago, but now the dust had covered every corner of it and it could not be called a house.

But she kept inside many events, many tears shed by the little girl, and many memories that even Ria had thought she had forgotten.

But those memories had "hit" her in the face with which she had tried for years to escape.

All she had asked of them was to love her, was that so impossible?

It was so ugly that none of them loved it, because people always loved beautiful things or not?

Did that mean she was ugly enough not to be loved or not?

But she loved them…

She had always loved them, even when her knees were bleeding, even when they had not felt her presence, even when they had broken her heart into thousands of parts. She had always loved…

She had never understood this. Why did she continue to love the people who had done her so much harm?

Why did she continue to worry about the people who had broken her every dream, every hope that someone somewhere in this world would know how to love her, how to take care of her fragile heart.

She continued to love her even that night when in the middle of the rain she was thrown out like garbage. Even today, when she reached this age, she continued to love her even though she could not accept herself.

But did she often become curious about where they were today?

Were they good, did they manage to earn enough to satisfy their hungry hearts for money. Worried if they were alive or had died in some corner from starvation.

But even after much searching, she was unable to find them.

Even if she found them, she did not know if she would have the courage to appear in front of them.

She had often wondered what she would do if one day she met them.

How would have treated them she did not know. But one thing she knew for sure, she would never have behaved the way they had treated her.

Did she care so little about them, or was it so worthless that they never cared about her. They had abandoned her on such a cold night, were they not at all afraid that she might die in the middle of the road ?!

She had wondered for years. But had never received the answers to her "whys". And she had lost hope that would ever get them.

Even though she wanted to, she really wanted so badly to one day meet the man who had hurt her so much in her life. Ask him about all the reasons that had plagued that girl for years.

They still continued to torment her from time to time. Just not like before.

Her father did not like her, in fact he hated her. She understood this even when she was a child. But the woman who had given birth to her, the woman who had carried in her womb for 9 whole months, had fed her, had raised at all, did not want her? !

She had never managed to understand this. The night her father threw her out, Ria had met his eyes with hers for the first time. She had looked into those eyes for the first and last time in her life.

And for the first time she had seen how much that man hated Ria.