Heartbreak

It's been a while since I suddenly realized the truth since I was so perplexed about boundaries. I hoped to spend the next three years with the man I had fallen in love with, but I must have moved on too quickly.

I was sure he loved me back; he never made me feel vulnerable. He was always so good to me that it felt like a dream.

He gave meaning to everything and invented many metaphors. I always thought I was special to him and gave him everything I had without hesitation. I gave him my entire heart, and all he offered me was a farewell.

I was screaming internally, but no one could hear me. Love was supposed to be simple, but instead.

Love gets trampled on and hopelessly melts away.

I found out Emir was proposing to someone else but still couldn't surmise it; it was all right in front of my eyes, the picture was so perfect it needed no filter, and I died a hundred times. I needed answers to why he would message me and want me there to  was in front of me.

How horrible was this man? He wasn't the guy I dated three years ago. Was this his way of getting me out of his way? Looking back at how he placed the ring on her delicate finger showed me he loved her as much.

Glancing at them, I couldn't utter any words but let my tears run down my cheeks. He could have told me rather than let me discover the truth the way that I did that night.

Was it not meritorious to be with him? Was it something about me that he didn't like? He promised the world, and I fell for it. I never expected this from him, and now all that is left to me are bad memories.

Bittersweet memories—that is all I took with me.

___________________________________________________________________________.

It's been nine months since the incident, and I can't be convinced of everything that happened. I mean, 'Am I supposed to? Doing things we used to do is now inscribed in our memories.

It's hard to believe I can do things without thinking of him because everywhere I go reminds me of him, and every song I listen to brings back the memories of us dancing and laughing. I'm enchanted by a song coming from my radio. It's called "To Let Somebody Go" by Coldplay ft. Selena Gomez ".

I chuckled to myself, What a coincidence!' and shook my head.

I wonder what will happen to me in the future. Will I be able to find love and satisfaction again? Will I be able to move on.?

Did he move on with her? What is he doing now? Is he really with her? Are they happy? All these qualms are never going to be resolved.

There was never a time when I didn't think of him. After all, I still wish all the good things to happen to him. Since the day of the incident, I have never heard from him. I know one day our paths will cross again, and everything happens for a reason, as I had to tell myself.

I didn't realise I was wailing until I heard a knock on my door. "Who could be here at this hour?" I asked myself. I walked towards the door to unlock it, and there he was, my best friend Jason, standing by the door frame with a distrustful look.

Jason never looked this worried or sick; he always wore a plastered smile on his face. Jason is Emir's close friend, and at that point, I didn't need anyone to feel sorry for what happened to me. I didn't want to talk to him; I just needed some time alone, but he insisted it would only take a few minutes, so I let him in and closed the door behind me.

I let him take a seat and let him know I was ready to hear what he would say.

He starts speaking. "I knew nothing about it, Emma, and I'm here to check if you are doing alright." He sighs and continues talking. "I will stop contacting Emir for you to be livable around me," he says.

I know it pains him a lot to make such a rational decision, and I truly feel like he's a bad liar at this point, but his expressions say it all; he meant what he just said, and to keep the friendship between us, he will do it just to see me happy.

I don't want the two of them to break their connection. I can't even let that happen, and I can't be the one to end their friendship since I've known them to be close friends ever since I started dating Emir.

Looking back at how close they were together, I can't let that happen, and it's not my place to stop their friendship. If the Emir were here, he would have said the same thing there. He was always good at solving things, even if he was caught in the entanglement.

I get lost in my thoughts. "Earth, Emma". I heard Jason's voice and snapped out of my thoughts. "Gosh, Jason, did you have to scare me?" I chuckled.

"You are still thinking about him, aren't you?"

"It's just hard for me not to think about him. You knew how much I loved him, and you know it." Now I sighed.

"I know Emma, but you can't let that break you; you've got a lot to focus on, especially how you are going to get through this and focus on your dreams," he says with so much guilt written all over his face.

"I know, but it's hard for me not to," I shouted, then burst out in tears.

He quickly pulls me into his arms, hugging me "I'm sorry for being such a jerk and not being able to put your emotions first", he explains, and continues to add on.

"Emma, please just take all the time you need. But don't let it break you like this. I'll always be here if you need me. I'm just worried that you might end up losing everything because of this. You need to be strong."

I feel guilty that I got him worried about me.

He knows what I'm going through, but I can't let him worry this much.

"Now smile for me," Jason mumbles while scouring my tears.

************

It's been weeks since I last saw Jason. We talked on the phone when he said he was in Paris for a business meeting, and he never brought up the Emir situation.

Honestly, I think he knows everything about his friend, but he just doesn't want to damage my heart even more by telling me about him or how he's leaving without me. I hope he doesn't either, because it will shatter me even more.

Even though I'm trying to forget about him, feelings just don't shrivel in the blink of an eye. I know it's going to take some time for me to completely forget about Emir.

Leaving my apartment and locking it behind me, I walked over to the elevator and pressed the open button. It opens as I walk in. I let out a deep sigh as I waited patiently inside as it went down. It dings and opens. I smiled at the security guard as I walked out of the building..

Sprawling in the park, I slumped on a bench where I used to sit with Emir. I don't even know how I got here, and I can't help but daydream about the wonderful times we had together.