Stroke

At about 7:30am on Monday, I was driving my car. I had this 20-minute journey to go to the hospital to get my check up every other day, and halfway through it I heard a siren, and there I saw a police car coming towards me.

Instinctively, I held my breath. I always get nervous when police are near. I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw that the police mobiles are surrounding me like I'm a criminal or something.

Then suddenly there's this loud sound of a megaphone saying that I need to pull over, but I can't. I tried to remove my grip from the steering wheel but I couldn't. As I looked forward, I saw rubber stoppers with spikes to stop me forcefully, as I passed it, my car started to slow down.

The policeman came rushing to me and opened the door when my car stopped, I quickly dashed out of my car. As I turned around to check my car's condition, my eyes got wide open as I looked at the driver's seat, and there I was, cold and dead.

How?

I wonder if my purpose to this world has been done, well I surely hope so. As I walk past the police, I realize how much commotion I've done, the ambulance preparing to clear out my body, the police stopping the people from seeing, and my wife.

Crying as if her husband just died.

Is it for me to suffer just to realize how much she burns for me? How dumb of me to consider all that she did to be sympathetic. Where old, gray, shabby, and even the computer that we once used at Mr. Davis' class is now at the museum.

Why?

I wonder how much guts did I have to fantasize her to be my wife and yet non much to confess. If only I could die a second late, maybe I still have the chance to own up my desire for her warmth.

I feel numb and yet sober.

In every realization I savvy I felt an unhealable pain from it. How dense did I have become to feel this unbelievable remorse? I wonder how much sacrifice she gave just for me to give her sorrows.

When?

There is no lie that I died a lonely man, but I surely did give agoni to the people who offer consideration of me. I wandered around the crowd, only to see a blasting light shining for me, and there I saw a way to stop my hurting, and yet I don't want it to stop. Because I know the only way for my suffering to be abolished was to put an end to it.

And I don't wanna die just yet.