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Whut is da DAKKA and how much is too much.

WH 40k and Fantasy(small part) Fanfiction Football hooligan died during the fight with the police and other team hooligans and reincarnated in WH40k as an Ork. Dumb humor, racism(puny xeno, stupid ummies etc), and bad grammar. You have been warned. Enjoy The cover is not mine, I only added text in Paint

saszeta · Video Games
Not enough ratings
44 Chs

Orky thingz

Orks returning from the battle were so happy that the kicks they gave to grots only sent them half the usual distance. Additionally, they were carrying lots of loot gathered from the battlefield. When everyone finally got back into the camp the party started. The smell of roasted meat flew thru the air. Grots worked tirelessly to serve their masters, bringing them meats of all kinds. After eating and recovering a bit after a fight Orks became bored and as usual, fights started to occur. Some because one Orked bragged better than the other or because one had more meat in his hand. The reason did not matter, all that mattered was if the contestant put a good and propa foight.

Boss looked at this with amusement but he too was getting bored as beating smaller Orks brought no fun at all. In his eyes that all were as good as Lob food. Lob too was getting bigger from all the eating and chomping. His jaws were spilling saliva all the time, his little eyes observed when some unfortunate snotling or even frot would try to go near it. Grots even made a betting ring. The taste was simple, sneak to the Lob and take one of his teef. Not a single success from the beginning as all Grots that tried with got their hand chomped off or were eaten on the spot. The game as dangerous as it sounded was very funny and had many volunteers.

Among Orks new games were created too. The most popular except for fighting was squig kissing. Ork would choose a squig with exceptionally big jaws and try to kiss eat or more exactly eat its face while the squig was trying to do the same. The winner was the one that survived or simply kept its frontal facade.

Boss saw that some Orks experienced some mental changes and physical changes. Some works developed longer fingers that were very good for grabbing things. They also developed a habit of stealing things from other works which if done incorrectly earned them a good beating. 3 or 4 Orks started to tinker with things. For now their biggest achievement was putting bits of scrap metal and nails into wooden club. This improvement dramatically increased the splatter effect generated upon impact which meant that the head that was hit with that type of mace created more bits than a mace that had no such improvement. This was proved empirically as when that particular Ork that made it smashed lots of squigs, grots, and 2 Ork heads before he presented it to the boss. During the presentation, he demonstrated it once again on a few rather unwilling assistants. Worth mentioning is that the tests that were performed by tinkering Ork caused more damage to other Orks than a whole battle they have recently partaken in. Boss really liked the upgrade as it made splattering more fun and order the Ork to improve his clobba with this new magnificent tek.

Other weird thing that happened was when one of the Orks decided to abandon violence and instead wanted to help its victims. He decided on this when he saw that one of the Orks bite his own finger when eating. The aspiring Ork doctor decided to help with the wound. With passion, he prepared his equipment by picking it up from the ground and taking it from other Orks.

He first applied anesthesia in the form of cloba to the head on the unsuspecting patient. This helped the patient to stay calm during the surgical procedure. For better effect doctor decided on multiple doses, because awakening of the patient during an operation may bring unwanted side effects, pain, and other dangerous inconveniences like the patient asking what happened, where are his teef or worse why is the doctor cutting off his perfectly fine arm?

After playing anesthesia doctor disinfected the area of abrasion with a generous amount of spit both his own and his pet squig. Then with an old rusty and blunt knife, I mean scalpel he cut off the uninjured hand of his patient and replaced it with a metal hook. AS for the injured finger he simply put some cloth over it to help it heal and prevent infection. As a payment doctor decided to take his patient's teef as he had a nice set of them and the doctor did not. For payment collection h used a slightly bigger clobba.

After a successful operation doctor tossed his patient somewhere near the fire so the smell of fresh meat would help him recover from anesthesia and quickly ran away before that happened. The doctor felt a great sense of accomplishment and decided to look for another patient. His help was always needed after all.

Overall after the battle Orks life change for better as they got inventors and even a doctor among their ranks. The next few days were fun, but what is fun without fighting. This got on the Boss nerves. He wanted to test his improved clobba in a big and proper fight, but he couldn't. So her ordered his Orks and grots to search for ummies or other thingz to foight.