Chapter 5

— Nine Years, Five Months, Two Weeks Until The End of Yggdrasil —

"That's such bullshit!" Ancient One frowned, inspecting my character. "How the hell are you guys that OP?"

"Maybe because we have a job that only nine players can have at a time?" I answered/asked with a deadpan. "Plus, it's not even that OP."

"Fucking bullshit!" Ancient One pointed his finger in my face before pointing his other finger at Touch Me. "You both are strong enough to take on 3 level 100s at the same time! How is that not unfair?!"

"Ulbert can do it too." I placed a hand on my hip, unimpressed.

"Yeah, but he's left dead tired after; he becomes fucking useless!"

"Yet I could still mess you up in a fair fight. Don't test me, Ancient One," Ulbert growled, and Ancient One turned to him, giving him a shit-eating grin.

"Let's go then!"

"Don't." I put my foot down. "As fun as it would be to see you two fight, the winner is obvious, and I'd rather not help you grind back up to level 100, Ancient One."

"Tch."

The World Tournaments had concluded two months ago. Touch Me, and I had won and become two of the strongest people in the game.

I mean, we already were, but now we didn't have much, if any, competition.

The only ones who were arguably around us were any of the nine World Disasters, including Ulbert, and any of the seven other World Champions, though I didn't quite put them on our level.

The World Champion job was insanely powerful. I downplay it a lot, mostly so the other clan members don't get upset about our strength, but when I say it's OP-

I mean it's fucking busted.

Not only did it alter the characters of any player who became one to exceed level 100, but it also gave World Champions some pretty fucking op skills.

The first of which was World Break. This attack was similar to the tenth-tier spell, Reality Slash, except it was more robust. It was an attack that used MP, and when activated, the player would slash the air, whether it be horizontally or vertically, and that slash would either cut a horizontal line of enemies, not reaching very far, or a vertical line where the attack would keep going for a while.

Basically, it was capable of cutting through worlds, and one could just as easily use it for such a purpose, meaning a World Champion could choose to open a portal to another world when using the skill.

Each world has a few portals that lead to the other worlds, but they're rather far apart, and players can camp them. World Break fixed that. If I was in Helheim and wanted to go to Asgard, I could just use the skill and open a dimensional portal for me and anyone else to hop into.

It used a good amount of mana, but it was worth it. The attack could kill any level 90 with ease, but that was in Touch Me's case.

In my case, I could one-shot a level 100 or a group of them since my build was focused on strength and speed over magic or defense.

There were two other skills for the World Champion class. Dimensional Gap and Dimensional Slash. Dimensional Gap was a less energy-consumptive form of World Break where you could travel to a space between the realms called 'The Gap'; from there you could choose a world and even specific landmarks to exit.

Dimensional Slash was a hyper-powered version of World Break, but instead of MP, it took Justice Stamps to use.

Justice Stamps were collectibles found around the map, but they could also be received by doing quests that helped others.

Basically, shit that was right up Touch Me's alley.

The minimum amount of stamps a world champion would need to consume to use Dimensional Slash is ten, but any attack after that multiplies the number by an increasing number.

If you consumed 20 stamps, the attack would be doubled, thirty it would be tripled, and the attack would max out at fifty. Considering the base attack is even stronger than World Break, Dimensional Slash is easily the most broken fucking attack in the game, and I honestly think if I used 50 stamps on a raid boss, I would be able to nearly one-shot it.

That's how bullshit World Champions were. World Disasters and World Champions were bullshit, and considering that Nine's Own Goal now had three of those World threats/saviors, we had become the strongest Clan in the game.

Now, it was time to create our guild.

— Two Weeks Later —

"So we're really doing this?" Ulbert asked seriously.

Nine's Own Goal members were sitting at a table in the newly conquered fortress, the Great Tomb of Nazerick; only it wasn't great…yet.

We edited it so the place was an underground bunker at the moment with barely anything in it. It was necessary the moment we decided we were going to make the change since everything in the place felt…useless.

"We are, it's final," I said resolutely. As the clan leader, my word was final. I stood up and stretched my arms wide, grinning like a madman. "Today we grow; let us welcome those who have wished to join our ranks, should they meet the standard. Today, we ascend from clan to guild!"

A light round of applause was heard around the table, and I scratched my chin sheepishly. Everyone here was a roleplayer, and spending so much time around them also dragged me into the role. It was nice; I recommend trying it.

"Well, if you say so, Kakuei!" Momonga sent an excited emoji and stood up, placing her bony hands on the table. "The might of our clan must hold strong, even after extending our numbers."

"Indeed." Ulbert nodded. "We have built a name for ourselves, and we have three of the strongest players in the game. We must demand a similar level of excellence if we truly wish to stand above Seraphim."

Ah yes, Seraphim, the main reason we were even making a guild in the first place.

After defeating GoldenLight, his guild pushed him to step down as guild leader and promote AngelLight, who won Asgard's World Championship, to the guild leader.

The entire guild hated Touch Me and I because we were monsters who didn't deserve to bear such a name, and they were setting out on a crusade of sorts against us.

"I already have two people who can fill the part." I grinned, tapping a few buttons before me and displaying my chosen people's character images.

"Those two?!" Wish III asked, slamming his hands on the table as he stared at the two in shock. "How are you sure you can recruit them?!"

"I already have." I grinned. The first picture was of a male humanoid dragon with glowing golden eyes and green hair, and the second was a female vampire with black hair and glowing crimson eyes. "World Champion of Vanaheim, Joni Val Temp, and World Champion of Niflheim, Vampira Rosalia Drake. Both of them have agreed to join us."

"Why would they, Master?" Nishikienrai asked, and my eye twitched. The guy took to calling me that because I helped him learn how to play and also because he knew it fucked with me. "Not to say I wouldn't like to have them on our side, but what got them to agree?"

I lazily leaned my cheek against my hand and smirked. "They are having the same problem as us. Seraphim hates that anything besides humans and angels holds the name 'World Champion' and desires to kill them so that another tournament can be held."

Unlike World Disasters, where you could kill them and take their title, World Champions didn't abide by the same rule. Killing a World Champion was a heinous act that couldn't in any way be rewarded since World Champions fight for the sake of the World they reside in.

"I see." Nishikienrai hummed. "That would make sense, and their presence in our newly formed guild would be an exceptional addition. To have four of the nine world champions with us would be a massive help."

"Yes, now four of us may bear the mark of justice and work together to help the realms!" Touch Me stood up and shouted. "The everlasting light of justice prevails always!"

"Always!" I shouted along, following the schtick lest I have Touch Me lecture me again for hours about how a World Champion should be a paragon of justice.

"So what will we call the guild?" Warrior Takemikazuchi questioned, which made the room fall silent.

I knew what to call it, but I wanted to see if they'd come up with it.

"What about the Deadly Sinners?" Ulbert asked.

I raised an eyebrow at that; I didn't expect that.

"Not bad." Ancient One hummed. "Not bad at all."

"It's horrible!" Touch Me shouted. "How can doers of justice be called anything but just? A horrible name, Ulbert. You should be ashamed of yourself!"

I resisted the urge to laugh as Ulbert quietly seethed before whispering calming things to himself. Touch Me, and Ulbert were like yin and yang, complete fucking opposites, but they meshed so well.

"What about Nine Hells?" Momonga asked. "I mean, our goal is to take over each realm or at least spread our name through each of them, right? Nine hells can stand for that, spreading the name of monsters throughout the nine realms."

"It works, but it's a little too broad, don't you think?" Wish III countered, and Momonga shrank into herself quickly.

"You're right…it was a dumb name."

"None of that, Momonga. It was a fine name, and as of right now, it's the best one we got." I tapped the table a few times, looking at her. "Don't back down just cause 'Three Shitty Wishes' decided that he didn't like your name."

"Dude!" Wish III frowned, and I grinned at him. He was known to be an asshole at times; sometimes, you just needed to check his ass.

"A-Alright." Momonga nodded. I gave her a thumbs-up emoji, and she continued to think of more names. As the only girl in the group, there were times when Momonga felt unheard or like she didn't belong. I've noticed it but never talked to her about it. I'm hoping she'll figure it out herself, but if she can't, I'll step in.

I continued tapping the table, which was the only noise in the room, as everyone thought. I considered blurting out 'Ainz Ooal Gown,' but I personally didn't care much for the name, and if they figured it out, it is what it is.

"What about Hell's Paradise?" I asked. All eyes snapped to me as I stopped tapping and leaned back in the chair. "It was an anime about a hundred years ago, but that's not why I said it. Our Guild is located in Helheim, and we're on the frontlines of the conflict against Seraphim. We plan to fortify Nazerick so that not even the largest raid parties can ever reach it, and by the time we're done, it'll be like a paradise for us. A paradise for Helheim as a whole."

"Not bad, not bad at all." Touch Me stood up, nodding. "The name carries the weight of justice! Helping those not strong enough to help themselves and providing them a safe haven in Nazerick! Our guild will be known as a group of do-gooders!"

"The name is too focused on the positive side of things." Ulbert shook his head. "It's not a bad name, but being a 'good guy' isn't my style."

"Then get good!" Touch Me argued.

"Fuck you!"

"Kiss the most vitrol part of my ass!"

"What the fuck does that even mean?!"

"Enough," I said loud enough for them to hear and stop. "I understand your reservations, Ulbert, and though I haven't watched the anime I speak of, I can tell you that the place was anything but paradise. Shit goes wrong, horribly wrong, and it can just as easily be turned into a place of evil. A paradise for allies and a hell for our enemies. Within the confines of Nazerick, death is a mercy."

"..."

"Holy shit that sounds badass!" Ulbert shot up. "Sign me up!"

"Seems we got a winner then, Master."

Wait…what?

"Hell's Paradise it is!" Momonga cheered. "Three cheers for the formation of our guild."

"Hip, hip, hooray-"

I tuned them out as they cheered. I…didn't expect them actually to go with it. I just said some random shit that I found pretty cool. I really hoped this wouldn't change things when it came to being teleported.

"Alright then." I stood up, squashing whatever slight regret I felt. "Then I'll submit the guild formation request to devs right now with the name Hell's Paradise. Do you have any objections?" I asked, wanting to make sure they were really okay with this. No one objected, and I let out a sigh.

"Fuck it, we ball."