Lost

"Doctor Todorabi, the patient's fetal condition is getting weaker. The life expectancy for the patient's fetus is only around 30 percent---"

"That's why we have to act fast! Don't talk too much and don't argue! Focus on saving them both! Nothing can be lost between the two of them," Shouken said, this was the first time he showed his scared and worried face while on duty at the hospital.

Shouken and the medical team at the hospital tried their best to save Katsuhi and her womb. The developments during the rescue process showed no signs of safety in Katsuhi's womb. For Katsuhi's condition, it's not too worrying. Still, she may fall into shock after an accident.

"Doctor, the patient's fetus has no signs of life---"

"Quickly hold on and do another induction to hold on while we save the fetus," said Shouken. He looked almost desperate but still fought as best he could.

Shouken's lips trembled. In his life as a doctor until now, there have been hundreds of lives this man saved from the worst to the mildest conditions, but this was the first time Shouken looked depressed. Shouken was so scared, so sad, so worried. Of course, how could Shouken be calm when he almost lost his future baby?

"Doctor Todorabi..."

Another doctor who also helps Shouken tries to make Shouken aware that Shouken's struggle is over.

All members of the medical team on duty in the room looked at Shouken with tired looks, and they felt sad about the doctor's condition, which looked very sad. Shouken looks very frustrated, he is like a person who has lost part of his life when he sees that the life expectancy of Katsuhi's fetus is decreasing.

A doctor who is an obstetrician patted Shouken on the shoulder, he knew that Shouken felt a significant loss, but he did not understand what kind of loss Shouken felt. For them, Shouken only feels lost because he failed to save the patient's life, even though the pain Shouken experienced was many times more than that.

"Mr. Todorabi, please strengthen yourself. The patient's fetus has died. The patient had a miscarriage, we must focus on saving the patient. The patient also has injuries and fractures, if not treated quickly the patient will experience a more severe condition than now," said the doctor content to Shouken.

Shouken still didn't accept it, he didn't want to agree with his colleague's words. His future baby is everything for him, and now he has lost his future baby.

KLANG

The shoulders of the medical team in the room lifted, they were all startled by the clink of medical equipment accidentally dropped by Shouken. Shouken was like a person who had no more energy, Shouken's hands floated in the air, stiff and didn't move, then fell to and just silent beside Shouken's body which was bent weakly.

One of Shouken's assistants who is also a doctor there immediately took the initiative to order other medical staff to take further action on Katsuhi, they couldn't wait for Shouken until Katsuhi showed other symptoms in his body. Shouken looks unprofessional nowadays, but this is understandable by them, because Shouken is very rarely like this, almost never.

Another doctor immediately attended to Katsuhi. At the same time, Shouken was still being comforted by several other medical teams who were there. Rescue procedures are now prioritized for Katsuhi who needs surgery on several parts of her body. So, the doctor performed two surgeries on Katsuhi's body. Katsuhi was also transferred and no longer handled in the delivery room.

This is the first time Shouken has caused problems in operations, Shouken has been a mainstay for the hospital in treating every patient. In fact, many patients ask to be treated by Shouken because of its excellent performance. However, Shouken's problems cannot be ignored by Shouken, Shouken feels so broken now.

"Doctor, please calm down. You shouldn't get carried away with your sadness when you are in front of a patient who needs help," said one of the doctors there.

Now Shouken is in another room, more precisely in the surgery waiting room. Shouken accompanied by an anesthesiologist was still waiting for the results of Katsuhi's surgery there. Shouken's colleague doesn't know what caused Shouken's sadness, after looking at it longer it seems that Shouken's sadness is not only to feeling like he failed to save the patient, but much more than that. So thought his colleague.

"Doctor, sorry if I seem presumptuous to ask you. But what is the problem that makes you so sad like this? I know this is a failure for a doctor, but we are only human, the owner of human life is only God. No doctor wants to failed to save the lives of his patients, but we have limits. And if you do the math, you very rarely lose your patients' lives while saving them. I beg you not to blame yourself too much," said the doctor.

"Steve, I can't accept this. I have lost a very precious life," Shouken said regretfully, he looked down and was about to hug his knees to shed all his frustration and regret.

"No one can go against God's destiny," said Steve. "It's easy for me to tell you, but... It's best for you to slowly forget about it."

Shouken was angry, he didn't know who to be mad with, his unstable emotions made him blame everyone around him. Besides that, Shouken is also sensitive, attacking anyone who doesn't give affirmation to his feelings.

Hadn't Steve done the right thing by persuading Shouken to end his grief?

Shouken silenced Steve, as long as Steve's conversation was still on Shouken deaf ears, and tried not to care. He doesn't want to accept suggestions from other people as long as that person doesn't have the same goal as Shouken. That's the negative side of Shouken, rare, but very annoying.

Steve was a little uncomfortable being silenced by Shouken, and he didn't feel like Shouken's behavior offended him. If it weren't for Shouken's character, which is usually always friendly and helpful to Steve, indeed Steve wouldn't care about Shouken like this. Steve prefers to leave Shouken, without reducing his respect for Shouken.

"I know you need some time to be alone. I'm in my room if you need help. The patient named Katsuhi has been handled by other doctors, and another anesthesiologist replaced me there. So I'm free now," he said. He patted Shouken's shoulder before walking away from there.