The Truth Shatters Some

Chapter Four

I sat in the unmarked squad car with Dolls, the air between us filled with silence, but we both weren't up for small talk at this point. We both knew how the other operated, why change something that didn't bring rise to problems?

"So Lyons... um, your 'mother' called me today, with BBD instructions.."

"Why was I not contacted?"

I shot out, cutting him off before he could tell me what they had told him. Why were they already going behind my back the second I got out of their grasp??

We had pulled up in front of an older looking house, the mailbox out front stating it was Wynonna's house. We both exited the car, making our way into the house before the cold really got to us.

Inside, I could smell cookies baking in the oven, both Waverly and Wynonna in the kitchen. I looked around the living room, my eyes landing on the deputies jacket hanging on one of the chairs in the kitchen. It had been about a week since I had last seen Nicole, I wasn't sure if we were both actively trying to avoid each other, or we were both suddenly very busy.

I picked up a stray wine glass on the end table by the couch, looking at the red wine that had stained the bottom of the glass.

"Anyway Lyons, they told me to remind you about Camilla and what happen-"

The glass completely shattered in my left hand as my head shot to the left to meet Dolls' eyes, his eye brows raising in surprise.

"Don't you ever fucking speak her name again, do you hear me?"

"Um why is my glass broken and your hand bleeding, Lyons?"

Dolls and I looked over to find Waverly standing in the doorway to the kitchen, an apron tied around her waist. Just as I was about to create an excuse, I heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs, her brown work boots entering my gaze before her whole body did. "R- Lyons, oh my god!"

Nicole ran down the rest of the stairs, her hands cupping my bleeding hand, pulling me towards the kitchen.

"What? Haught, don't bring her in here, she'll bleed all over my cookies!" Wynonna yelled, a cookie in her hand as she continued to look at the deputy.

"Deputy Haught, I'm fine." I tried, her body spinning towards me as she placed her finger to my lips to silence me.

"I need you to stop talking and sit down, Lyons." She commanded, my body falling into an empty chair before I could defy her. My eyes shot to Wynonna's, nodding her head towards me softly.

"That was the safest choice" She whispered to me, causing me to chuckle.

Suddenly, a very large first aid kit was slammed onto the table as my blood slowly started to drip onto the floor. Haught's hand forced the container open, her fingers flying through all of the different first aid items before she grabbed tweezers, alcohol, and bandages.

Before I could tell her to slow down, she pulled up a chair and pulled her flashlight from her utility belt, shining it onto my hand to look for pieces of glass.

"Nicole, I don't think any got in my- Ow!"

She had quickly found the only piece of glass in my hand, yanking it out as if her life depended on it. As the pain started to sting my hand, she poured the alcohol over my wound, the excess falling onto the floor to be cleaned up later. I gritted my teeth and forced my eyes closed as I continued to close my jaw, my teeth feeling as though they would shatter if anymore pressure was applied.

I felt her begin to bandage my hand with care, not daring to open my eyes for fear they would water and look like I was crying. Which I wasn't.

I felt someone's hand land on my cheek, their thumb running over my cheek bone slowly as my eyes flew open to meet Nicole's. "You okay?" She asked softly, her head still very close to mine.

I cleared my throat and sat back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest, my heartbeat racing. I really needed to stop this, she was mesmerizing. It felt like she was pulling me into the ocean, but I wasn't going to drown, only float.

"I'm fine, thank you Deputy Haught." I retorted, looking away from her to watch Wynonna take a bite of a cookie with her eyebrows raised but looking away from me, knowing she had been watching us.

"Now that that's over, want to tell us why you broke my glass?" She asked, sitting in the chair across the table from me. I could only chuckle and shake my head, looking at her. "No, Earp." I replied, taking the cookie out of her hand to take a bite out of it.

"Agent Lyons loved someone once."

My head shot around to look at Dolls as everyone stared at me in shock and disbelief, my eyes setting fire to the agent leaning against the counter behind me.

"Now you have to spill. Either you or Dolls, I don't care which." Waverly said, grabbing the entire tray of cookies to place on the table, looking across at Nicole as she looked at me cautiously.

"Agent Camilla and Agent Lyons became very close, dated for a number of years actually. Then, Agent Camilla disappeared and the department never spoke of her again. There were even some rumors that Lyons killed her." Dolls said, each word causing my heart to relive the pain I had felt, the pain I had actively ignored for years.

"None of that was true." I responded, feeling my body begin to close off as my emotions were being built behind a wall. I knew any chance I had with Nicole was gone now, my body was reliving that pain, and it never wanted to again. So, any feelings were being erased.

I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I chose to instead look down the table, taking a deep breath before I began my story.

"I did date Agent Camilla for a number of years, that was true. I grew to love her, believe it or not. We met at an overseas meeting with other agencies. We had started talking, one thing lead to another, and she started working at Black Badge to be closer to me. She loved the job and I loved her, she was my first real relationship with a woman that wasn't just sex.

We were in Germany, Munich, on a case. She had been contacted by another agency based out of France that she was thinking about going to, not breaking up with me of course. I did although express my dislike of the long distance, but in Germany I had asked her again about it..."

My mind flew back to that night, watching her laugh and smile at me.

"She laughed and nodded, before choking me, pushing me down onto the bed until I passed out. She would have crushed my esophagus if I hadn't of passed out when I did. All of my case files were gone, everything. When I came back from Germany, Black Badge was in disarray, they were tearing apart from the seams. I was pulled into a room and tortured for hours, continuously asked where Camilla was and how much she knew, if I had known.

My 'mother' finally put a stop to it after the third day, convincing them I had no idea what they were talking about. They debriefed me that Camilla had been a double agent for what could have been years. She had used me to get information that she would not have regularly had access to. In Germany she had sent Black Badge the message and disappeared, threatening to expose them to the world. We had to go dark.

This is the first assignment I have been given where I could act alone, on my own accord. They still don't completely trust that I had not known Camilla had been a double agent all those years ago. They told Dolls to remind me of Camilla, threatening to force me to go dark again if I mess up again."

Everyone around the table was speechless, including Dolls behind me. I lifted my eyes to meet Nicole's, her eyes showing sadness. I didn't want her sadness, I didn't want any pity from her or anyone else for that matter.

"Wow, talk about a bitch." Wynonna finally spoke up, grabbing another cookie from the tray.

"Lyons, I'm so sorry that happened to you.." Waverly said as I chuckled and sat up, my chair squealing on the wood floor as I pushed it back in.

"I'm just going to call it a day today, you all have fun." I just wanted to be left alone with my thoughts, I wanted to drown in them. To remind myself why I can't get close or trust someone again, not even if they've already fallen in love with me.

I walked out before anyone could stop me to give me a kind word of pity that would somehow miraculously make me feel better. I could hear someone's footsteps in the snow behind me, crunching quickly to catch up with me. My hand landed on the door handle of the unmarked squad car as a hand landed on my shoulder, spinning me around.

I came face-to-face with Nicole, her nose already as red as a tomato, looking down to realize she wasn't even wearing a coat. "Deputy go back inside." I instructed, watching her shake her head as her teeth hit together from the cold.

"I can't say anything to make you feel better, I know that Rose. What she did was awful and shitty and makes real love look bad. I know your heart is broken, it has every right to be. But, don't let Black Badge own you like this, never let them own you like this. Don't let her own you like this. You're not anyone's property. You were attacked that night, no training could have prepared you for that, you're not weak for passing out. I know you probably stay awake at night thinking about if you hadn't of passed out, could you have stopped her. I'm telling you right now, no, there was no stopping her. You're only human Rose, we can be a full garden but start to decay after a broken heart. It's up to you if you want that garden to ever bloom again."

After she had finished her rant, she stood in front of me, gasping for air as she waited patiently for me to reply to her. I nodded and sighed, cocking my head to the side. "You're right, Haught, I'm decaying slowly. But in this cold, I highly doubt anything will ever poke through the ground again."

I left the deputy standing in the cold as I got into the car and started it, backing out of the driveway as she stood and watched me, running her hand through her hair before she nodded and walked back into the house.

There's her answer.

Author's Note: Hey everyone! I know this was a pretty short chapter, but I just really wanted everyone to understand Rose's character. Other than that, how is everyone enjoying the book?