Sixteen

Emily lay in bed preoccupied by her thoughts. She was torn between the two men in her life and she knew that sooner or later she might have to choose one of them. Until she went with Afia to meet Stephen the morning of Boxing Day, she had made up her mind to settle down with Dr Newman. That was before Afia called her and she later met with Stephen and discovered that Mrs Adams had, indeed, framed her stepson up in her bid to keep him out of the race for Emily's affection. 

She had shared many very special moments with Stephen in the past as two close friends and she had told him so much about herself that she later wondered how he often succeeded in drawing her out to talk about herself. No one else could make her lower her guard the way he did. Over the months, she had grown to trust him and she felt strongly attached to him. She had reluctantly made herself very vulnerable by fully opening up to him, only to be let down in a very big way by the young man, as she believed at the time. She had felt humiliated, cheated and even violated. She had allowed him to enter her innermost being and he had betrayed her trust, or that was what she felt in those days. When she later learnt the truth, it did very little to cheer her up.

Mrs Adams had come to her room on Boxing Day after she had returned from Kojo Ganyo's place to prepare for her lunch date with Dr Newman. The older woman had told her things which had confused her even more and when Mrs Adams later took leave of her, Emily had gone to Auntie Okaibea late at night to seek her counsel. 

"Every pesewa I have given you, all the extra money I have given you outside of your salary, the expensive designer clothes, your fees and even the car you drive now have all come from Dr Newman. He says he does not mind whether you accept his marriage offer or not, since it was his way of helping another person who needs his help. That is Dr Newman but you must know what you are throwing away if you choose to follow an uncertain future with Stephen. My dear, you cannot turn your back on Dr Newman now. You may not have to refund every pesewa you have taken from him but you will always have to live with a bad conscience if you ditch him. That's why I'm telling you about the sacrifices he has made for you. He still wants to keep it away from you so that you may not feel obliged to accept him, but let me tell you that you will have to answer to your God one day if you decide to dump him after all that the poor man has gone through to make you what you are today. 

As far as I'm concerned, it's too late in the day for you to back out now. You may call your parents and talk to them. Your dilapidated family house has been renovated and furnished by Dr Newman and you think he did all that for nothing, although he maintains it's for free? Your parents are very eager for you to marry him and they have assured him they will see to it that you marry him at all cost. They have even prevailed upon him to perform the initial marriage rites as we speak. Talk to Dr Newman and he will tell you why your parents are so afraid of your future as a woman. You will do well not to allow Stephen to put any more silly notions into your head. He has moved out of the house currently and I'm told he has gone to rent a match box which he calls a room somewhere at Adabraka." Mrs Adams had sneered. 

She had said so many other things to upset Emily and when she finally took leave of her, Emily had been left wondering which of the things her benefactor had said was a fib and what was true. After listening to Afia, Bobby and Stephen, she knew her employer could do just anything to have her way. 

She had met Dr Newman later in the afternoon, determined to find out the truth from him. During their lunch together, she had broached the subject with him. To her dismay, Dr Newman had made very light of the matter and even asked her to forget about everything Mrs Adams had told her. 

"Don't pay much attention to Gloria Adams," he had said, trying to downplay the matter. 

"I'm sorry, but I want to know the truth or otherwise of what she told me," Emily insisted. 

"All right, if that's how you feel. Let's say that I, indeed, agreed to pay so much money to have you educated, groomed and made very comfortable in life. What is that between good friends? You have said you like me and you have not objected to spending a lot of your time with me so far. Forget about Gloria Adams for now and let us concentrate on what the future holds for us," he insisted. "I'm wondering why she didn't tell me about your sponsorship right from the onset," she stated. "Would it have made any difference?" he asked. "Yes, it might have," she replied. "Then I would have made up my mind about what I was getting myself into."

 "Not at all," Dr Newman countered. "I wanted to always leave you the option of walking out of the door whenever you chose to. If I had made you aware that I was helping you financially, I'd have tied you down to myself because you would have felt grateful and possibly agreed to marry me because you would have felt obliged to. But that is not my intention at all. When I went to see your parents at Techiman, it was their idea that I showed some commitment. They were afraid that like so many girls from that community, you might end up not being able to bear children because of the curse on the village. They explained that in view of my age, I might not be too bothered if you were unable to bear children, whereas a younger man might mind. I made it very clear to them that it all depended on you and not me, but they insisted you were not opposed to the idea of getting married to me. But I wasn't misled by them. Old as they are, and having seen us together a couple of times, they obviously have nursed the hope of us getting married and, besides, they are very poor. 

Poverty, I'm aware, can make people do all sorts of unacceptable things. I gave them the traditional drink to declare my interest in you and they promised they'd find out from you whether they should go ahead and accept the rest of the items. I warned them not to force you to marry me because they seemed bent on seeing us married. I also advised Gloria not to tell you about the contributions I had made towards your upkeep but she is a very strong willed woman who will always have her way." 

Emily was silent as she pondered over what she had heard. She reluctantly admitted to herself that but for what she had heard from her friends, she would have been ready to go along with Mrs Adams's proposal. 

After a while, Dr Newman broke the silence between them. "Now that you know the facts, what do you intend to do?" 

She pondered over his question for a while before answering it. "Well, I will see my parents and have a chat with them. They may have very good reasons for doing what they have done. I'd also like to have some time to think about all this information I'm receiving now." 

"Emily, don't you think it's time to make up your mind? It's well over a year now and I think that is sufficient time to decide what you want in life. If you ask for my candid opinion, I'll say you have been coming along very well until you went to see Gloria's son," he pointed out softly. There was no accusation, anger nor resentment in his voice. 

She had reflected over Dr Newman's contention later and realised it was mostly true. Although she had not verbally accepted his proposal, she had actively encouraged him, especially when she was led by Mrs Adams to believe the worst about Stephen. 

"I don't intend to keep you for another second if you are averse to it. All I can say now, however, is, think carefully about what you intend to do with your future," he had said to her before they parted. 

When she later spoke with Auntie Okaibea about her dilemma, the older lady had asked her pointedly if she was in love with Dr Newman. 

"I'm not sure I am," she had replied after a long pause, during which the older lady had been silent but quietly prayed for her ward. 

"Let me put the question the other way round," Auntie Okaibea had said, "Do you love Stephen?" 

Again Emily had remained silent for a long time and, once again, her older companion continued to pray for her. 

"Auntie Okaibea," she began, "Stephen makes me angry, very angry sometimes. He teases me and so far he's the only person I've shared my life story with. He's my closest friend and he understands me because he's taken the trouble to know me. Yet..." 

"Yet what?" Auntie Okaibea prodded her. 

Emily sighed. She thought back to the time they had both sat in Mrs Adams's living room. She had desperately expected Stephen to refute everything the two women had said. She had expected him to take a stand beside her. When he did nothing, it had been like a slap in the face. She had felt so betrayed that she had shed bitter tears when she was in the safety of her bedroom. She had deliberately turned her attention to Dr Newman, hoping that she would, by so doing, push the young man out of her consciousness. 

There were evenings when she had expected him to walk through the door to tell her it was but a mere dream and that everything was well between them. Even after it had become obvious that Stephen was not returning to her, her heart had raced each time she thought of him. Thus, when Afia called to say it was all a frame up, she had been unable to sleep that night. It became even more unbearable when Kojo Ganyo also told her that they needed to talk. She knew it was about Stephen but she had told herself that she merely wanted to hear what Bobby had to say. 

When she later set eyes on Stephen in Bobby's living room, all the emotions she felt she had successfully put behind her came rushing back. She had cried in his arms on Boxing Day and she had felt relief wash down her troubled soul as he held her close in his arms. That must be love, she told herself. 

When Emily eventually looked up at Auntie Okaibea, Emily looked radiant. Auntie Okaibea saw that the inner glow the young lady was experiencing had spread over her face while possibly reminiscing about special moments the two had shared. 

"My daughter," Auntie Okaibea said softly, with comprehension in her eyes, "you don't have to voice it out. You love Stephen." Emily remained silent. 

"Now, this is what you have to do; stop seeing Dr Newman now that you have made up your mind. Refuse to go out with him and then be prepared to move out of the Adams's residence because Gloria will not take it kindly at all if she realises that despite all her threats, her cajoling and bribery, you have settled for her son. The benign doctor has said he doesn't mind if you do not return his love, but I can assure you that it is all mere talk. He is saying it in that way so that you will see him in a very positive light. He didn't spend so much money on you just because he wants to be benevolent. No, he expects to win you over through his excessive generosity." 

"What of my parents?" Emily asked. "I learnt he's been giving them money and he's even rehabilitated the family house. If they have done what I'm told they have, don't you think they will pose a lot of problems?" 

"Let's commit everything into the Lord's hands," Auntie Okaibea suggested. 

"If, indeed, Stephen is the young man the Lord has prepared for you, He will work out everything in His own way. Let's take one step at a time, trusting God to straighten out everything. Remember that the steps of the righteous are ordered by God." 

After Emily had left Auntie Okaibea, she prayed for God to further direct her. She knew that life with Stephen was not going to be rosy. She was still at the university and if Mrs Adams's sponsorship ceased, she would need money. She would have to work to pay her fees and also support herself. The car she was using currently, would be taken away from her and that meant she would have to struggle by the roadside each day to get to the university, instead of driving in the comfort of her car. She would also have to move out of the Adams's residence and find her own accommodation if she followed through with her decision to reject Mrs Adams's offer. 

Turning her back on Dr Newman and Mrs Gloria Adams meant returning to her old life of drudgery. It was difficult to recall when she had ever been without money in her purse since she moved in with the Adams. She had saved religiously and had several thousands of cedis in her bank account, but if she were to rent her own place, feed herself daily and pay her fees, it would not take long before her entire savings would be depleted, Emily thought. 

For what was she turning her back on such comfort and a life of ease? She wondered. She had not worried about what to eat, drink or wear for such a long time. Why must she give it all up? 

Was Stephen worth such a great sacrifice? What if he disappointed her? Could she trust the young man to keep his promise to marry her? Emily was working herself up emotionally and as she switched off the light in her room, her heart began to pound in apprehension. Was she throwing away her security for a life of uncertainty? "Oh my God, help me," she cried out in the darkness.