Whirlwind

Whirlwind

Sumabog ang halakhakan namin sa buong hall ng matapos naming mapanood ang isa sa mga clips ng paboritong series ni Zhire. Hindi rin magkamayaw ang iba naming kaibigan pagkatapos nila itong mapanood.

Sabagay, kahit nga ako na pangatlong beses na itong napanood ay hindi pa rin maiwasang mapahalaklak pag napapanood ang video.

I thought that it was that easy, being at the top of the social circle in our school, aside from the fact that most of my friends' face are famous as hell, we are also in the pilot section.

I don't know why but maybe it's just one of my characteristics that everyone that is not part of our section became an insignificant person to me, everyone outside from our section was like blurred images for me. They were that easy to ignore.

"Taena ang bobo," pagkatapos ay sinabayan pa ni Evans ng halakhak yung insulto nya na isa sa tauhan video.

Napangiti ako. They were already animatedly talking with each other as I watched them silently.

Nabigla ako ng hinila ako ni Cedrick sa tabi nya niyakap ang braso ko.

"Hindi kami hangin tol ha?" Binatukan ko sya at minura bago tinanggal ang pagkakayakap sakin para ako yung yumakap sa mga braso nya.

Tumawa naman ang mga kaibigan namin bago ako pinaulanan ng insulto tungkol sa ugali kong mag-ignora sa mga tao. Umiling na lang ako at nanahimik. Hindi na nakikinig sa kanila.

Nakakatamad magsalita. It was a bother I don't even know why they weren't having a jaw lock with all the talks and laughs. I was simply amazed. I wish I could do that too--talk nonstop. But I'm too lazy to try it out.

Imbes na hayaan akong yakapin ang mga braso nya, he wriggled it. I let go of him at itinaas nya ang mgs kamay nya pero bumagsak sa mga balikat ko. Napalingon ako sa kamay nya na nakapahinga sa balikat ko abala sya sa pakikipagusap kay Evans habang ang mga kamay nya ay mas nilalapit ako sa katawan nya. Hindi nagtagal doon ang tingin ko at nilipat na iyon sa harap namin. Pababa ng hagdan na kami dahil nasa second floor lang kami at ang sa baba ng room ay ang canteen malapit lang ito.

Things like this, it was easily obtained, something simple. Sa sobrang simple, we always ignore it thinking that it wasn't a thing worth treasuring. Pero darating pala yung panahon na you'd wish for something this simple. Pero parang anlayo na nito sayo. Para na lang syang ilusyon. Di mo alam kung totoo ba kasi...parang sobrang layo na, sa sobrang layo parang... parang hindi nangyari. Maybe you are just imagining things for it was your wishful thinking.

Nakahilig ako sa dibdib ni Cedrick habang nakapahinga ang mga kamay nya sa balikat ko. Kumunot ang noo ko at kinagat ang labi bagay na nakagawian kong gawin pag nag-iisip. Ano kayang kakainin ko? Nakapako ang mga mata ko sa mga pagkain.

Habang nag-iisip ng kakainin lumaki ang mga mata ko ng akmang susubsub ako sa mga pagkain na buti na lang ay naudlot dahil sa may humila sa siko ko na siyang dahilan para tumama ang likod ko sa mainit na pader. Napamura ako kunot ang noong bumaling sa kung sinong nasa likod. Dibdib ng lalaki ang bumungad sakin kaya't inangat ko ang mata ko.

"Glad I caught you?" The mocking tone in his voice is evident as he copies the line of an antagonist prince in one of Disney's movies while a strange light passes in his eyes as he moves his eyes from my face to my body.

"That's not funny." Iniwas ko ang tingin ko sa kanya at ibinaling ito kay Ced. Sa likod ni Ced nandon yung iba kong kaibigan ang na nagbubulungan habang palipat-lipat ang tingin nito sa akin at kay Riil. Ang iba naman tuloy lang sa pagbili tapos ang iba...

"Ayiee...ang harot ahhh!" Si Evans. Gago. Napairap na lang ako habang nagsisimulang uminit ang mukha ko. Nakakabwisit.

Aalis na sana ako sa harap nya ng hilain nya ulit ako. Inis akong tumingin sa kanya habang nakangiti lang sya na parang di nya alam na sa kanya ako naiinis. Tss. Tumingin ako sa kanya ng nagtatanong at tumawa lang sya. Tapos ay nagkibit-balikat.

Pahaklit kung binawi ang mga kamay ko sa kanya at lumapit kay Eone. Tawa sya ng tawa habang nakikipagkwentuhan kay Rose at ng makitang papalapit ako sa kanila ay tinapunan nila ako ng nangaasar na tingin. Inirapan ko lang sila at tinawanan lang nila ako. Bwiset.

There are somethings that doesn't need words to be able to convey. And this is one of that. We are not close. We don't have the same circle of friends. We are just simply casual with each other. Maliban sa madalas na pagpapalitan ng tingin, madalas niyang pang-aasar sakin gaya ng kanina pag nadidikit ako sa mga kaibigan kong lalaki. Ang madalas kung pagirap sa kanya pag may kalapit syang babae na syang labis na nagpapangiti sa kanya habang tintaboy sila. We are normal, minus those things.

It's not new to me. Kaya di na ako lumapit masyado kay Ced ng recess at nanatili kasama nila Eone. We don't have anything. But 'nothing' stays forever, right? So this should be forever, cause there is nothing.

That's what I thought. But I forgot another thing, change is constant. What if he could have something? Because he has that something, truly 'nothing' stays forever. We will stay as nothing forever but that doesn't mean he won't forget that 'nothing'.

Dahil change is constant di laging nakafocus sya sakin. He explores. While exploring, I watched him from a far and hope. Through exploring, he found his Something. That Something gave him things.

Riil, from having a mutual understanding to a girl, had the chance to court her. His Something, my friend, Eone. After months of courting, she gave him more. A label. The rights. They became official.

I was lost. I can't get hurt, we had nothing so I'm not losing anything but I felt it. From those nothings. The thing I called nothing had everything in me at stake. I just didn't know. I didn't know I invested many things, my feelings, my hope, my peace of mind and my heart. I put it on the line but I did not know and lost it all.

Now, I truly had nothing. Because I gave him my all without his or my knowledge. The lumped in my throat was pushed down by the strong alcohol I gulped. My eyes are red because of the unshed tears. My lips quiver from trying to maintain my smile despite its shaking. My head... filled with his smiles.

Eone was drunkenly staring at her phone. I don't know if it's because of the alcohol or because there's something on her phone that's making her drunk. Well...I bet it's because of the latter. Great!

Drunk. Binibaba ko ang tingin ko sa cellphone kong nakapatay. I open it and tap a messaging app. I tapped his name and saw that the person was looking through our messages. Napangiti ako. I close my phone and move my eyes in front of me.

Ced. I smile to him but he remain grim. Tumawa lang ako at ininom na ang alak na nasa harap ko. Goddamn! After that, patlang. My memories are jumping. I dont know whats happening. But I dream something wonderful. I dream about this particular person with beautiful eyes.

Greenish brown eyes. Strange eyes. I love it. A stranger planted a kiss on my forehead and on my cheeks. Then he buried his face in my neck while his arms were wrapped around my waist slowly supporting me not to fall down in this high stool. He was sad. I touched his hair. Silky hair. I giggled. Cedrick.

When I woke up I didn't remember a thing. All I know is that I need to run. Run as fast as I can because I made a big mistake. Though the angel in my arms is proof that it's a blessing, I hid far, far away. And even though I did everything I could to run away, these strong arms wrapped in my waist, these lips that's on my neck, this was all the proof that it wasn't enough.