70. Chapter 70

AN: I don't even know what to say to excuse my delays in getting this chapter up. I'm sorry. I've been super sick, for so long, and am just finding the energy to not just work and sleep in the last week. As long as I keep recovering and don't fall back into a massive chest infection again, I will get back on track with my updating, for this and my other stories.

Meredith groaned and buried her face in her pillow, trying to ignore the sounds of someone knocking at her door. Derek's arm tightened around her waist as he too groaned at the unwelcome intrusion.

Meredith wasn't scheduled to be at work until late morning, and she had planned on taking full advantage of the rare opportunity to sleep in with her boyfriend. After everything they had been through recently, she felt they deserved a morning away from the world around them; only the world around them didn't seem to share in the sentiment.

The intruder knocked again, and Meredith sighed, hoping whoever it was would just disappear.

Derek made a grumbling noise and buried his face into the back of her head. "Make it stop."

She couldn't help but giggle at his morning grumpiness. He was usually such an annoyingly upbeat morning person, but he had to wake up on his own terms. It was always amusing for her when he was like this. "I'm trying."

He grumbled again. "You're not doing anything."

Meredith rolled towards him so she was on her back, the arm that had been wrapped over her side now slung across her stomach. "I'm wiling it to stop."

Without opening his eyes, Derek closed his arm around her and pulled her in close, his chin finding purchase above her shoulder as he pressed his face into the side of her head.

The knock echoed through the room again.

"You're obviously not good at willing things away," he mumbled.

"Maybe its Cristina," she whispered. "It'll save me killing her at work."

"Why are you killing her again?" He mumbled through a yawn.

"Because she told on me."

"Mmm," he mumbled into the side of her head, a noise she took to be an acknowledgment on his part that he remembered Cristina going to him the previous day after Meredith has spilled her secret fears to her best friend.

Meredith closed her eyes, hoping that whichever friend was at the door had taken the hint. If it was Cristina, she could kill her later at work. Though, if she were honest with herself, she would admit that she was grateful Cristina had gone to Derek. Meredith's emotions had been all over the place for the past three weeks; ever since she had woken up in pain on the hard gurney in the ER, with Derek's worried face hovering over her. Despite the fact that he had continued to be right there beside her after she had talked him out of proposing, there had been a slight – almost unconscious – worry in the back of her mind that he would change his mind. And after she had gotten her hopes up two days prior, only to be crushed to discover that proposing wasn't anywhere on the agenda for the night, she had allowed the uncertainty and fear in. Three decades of disappointment had made very efficient pathways in her brain, allowing the chest crushing doubt to enter and find a home before she had even realized what had happened.

And she had been too afraid to bring it up, scared that Derek's beautiful blue eyes would flicker away from hers, and that he would sigh and shake his head and admit that he had changed his mind about her; about them. About the forever she so desperately wanted.

But Cristina had been able to be far more objective that her person, and she had gone to Derek.

And Derek had been perfect. His eyes had met hers so evenly that she couldn't not trust every word that came out of his mouth. And he had smiled in that way that made it seem like everything was going to be okay. And he had been able to joke about the whole thing, to mock her with over-the-top ideas like sky writing that he knew she'd hate.

He had pushed all of her doubts away with ease. He knew her.

She didn't need a big proposal. She didn't need a fancy wedding.

But she did need Derek. And she needed him to want her.

That was all she needed.

With an exhale that hummed into her ear, Derek fell back into sleep beside her, his arm still holding her close to him, still needing her. And it was everything Meredith needed to know. She closed her eyes and sighed as she drifted towards sleep-

Until the person on the other side of her door – who was about to get forcibly evicted from her house – knocked again.

"That's it," Meredith hissed, leaping out of bed. Derek awoke with a start as his arm and head suddenly lost their support.

"What?!" Meredith demanded as she flung open the door between knocks two and three.

Izzy stood wide eyed in surprise in the hallway, her fist stilled in motion half-way to the door. "Meredith," she stammered, her fist opening as her hand turned and landed on her chest. "You scared the crap out of me."

Meredith had never wanted to strangle her roommate more. "Then you shouldn't have been

knocking on my freaking door. We're trying to sleep.

Izzy dropped her hand, but made no move to apologize. "Yeah, I wasn't sure if I should wake you, but-"

"Then you shouldn't have," Meredith cut her off. "Seriously, Iz, I'm exhausted. And I have exactly two and a half hours left until I have to get up for work. Can you tell me why I'm awake?"

Izzy made an apologetic face. "Susan's here."

Meredith blinked. "Who?"

"Susan. Your stepmother? Married to your father? Remember her?"

Meredith groaned and collapsed against the doorframe. "Why is she here?"

"She brought groceries."

She sighed and ran a hand over her face. "Look...can you just ask her to come back another time? Or to call, or something?"

Izzy made a face and avoided Meredith's eyes.

"What?"

Izzy sighed. "I kind of already let her in. She's in the kitchen and I didn't think you'd want me going to work and leaving her here without telling you."

"Why did you let her in?" Meredith hissed.

Izzy shook her head and held up her hands. "She's like impossible to say no to, Meredith. Seriously. I tried. She wouldn't leave. What was I supposed to do? Close the door in her face?"

Meredith covered her face with her hands and groaned. She couldn't blame her roommate; Susan had convinced Meredith into dinner with her father not so long ago.

Izzy reached out a hand to squeeze Meredith's forearm in support. "I'm sorry," she said honestly, "But I have to go or I'm going to be late for work..."

"Just go," Meredith said, waving a hand as she glared at her roommate. "Just go and leave me here all alone with that thing in my kitchen."

Izzy laughed. "She's actually really nice."

Meredith nodded. "I know. That's the problem."

After shutting the door, Meredith turned and couldn't help but smile at the sight. Derek had rolled onto his back, pulling her pillow with him so it was resting over his face. With a sigh, she padded across the room and collapsed onto the bed, dragging herself over to him and resting her upper body on his chest. The hand that wasn't pressing the pillow into his face found her lower back.

"Susan is here," she whispered.

"I heard."

"Why is she here?"

"The only way to find out is to go downstairs and face her."

Meredith groaned. "I hate you."

He chuckled, his chest vibrating underneath her, causing her to giggle. "You love me."

"I both love and hate you right now," she clarified.

"And you're on top of me," he pointed out.

"Only because you stole my pillow."

He snorted and then dropped the pillow onto her head.

"Hey!" She exclaimed, pushing herself up, but before she could say another word she took the pillow to the face.

"Derek!" She cried, rolling away from him and reaching in vain for her own ammo.

He chuckled and rolled with her, coming to rest over top of her, his dark blue eyes shining with mischief.

Meredith mock glared up at him. "Now you're on top of me."

He raised an eyebrow before dipping his head and kissing her.

She moaned into his mouth as he deepened the kiss, his way of saying good morning.

When he finally pulled away, she was left breathless and wanting. "You're still on top of me," she whispered.

He smiled and pecked her lips before shifting his weight beside her.

Meredith groaned and pulled at the thin fabric covering his chest. "We could just stay up here and do this."

"While Susan is downstairs?"

She nodded. "She can wait. Hell, maybe she'll disappear."

"Hmm," he mumbled, as if considering, "What if she comes upstairs?"

"We'll make sure the door is locked."

"She'll still be knocking and calling for you. Are we just going to ignore her?"

"Yes. We'll just pretend to be sleeping."

He smirked. "What if you can't be quiet?"

She glared at him. "Then that will be your fault."

He continued to smirk, "Hey, if you want me to stop doing the things I do, just say the words..."

She huffed. "You know, I really do hate you."

He pecked her lips again. "I know," he said good naturedly. "But keep in mind that if you go downstairs and talk to Susan now, there will be time for me to do the things I do before we have to go to work."

Meredith sighed and rolled out of bed with an exasperated, "Fine."

Derek smiled and propped his head up on his hand as he watched Meredith stumbled across the bedroom in search of something to change into.

After a moment, she turned back to him. "You are going to come down with me, right?"

He cocked his head at her. "Do you need me to be your security blanket this morning?"

"Yes. And I need you to not let me get talked into another stupid dinner."

"Hmm," he mumbled, pretending to contemplate her demands. "And what do I get in exchange for this feat of mine?"

Meredith had to fight not to roll her eyes. "What do you want?"

His eyes sparkled. "There are so many choices..."

This time she did roll her eyes. "Seriously, Derek, do you ever think of anything that isn't dirty?"

He shook his head and smirked.

She couldn't help but smile at his playful expression. "Fine, whatever you want. Carte blanche. Just get dressed and come down with me."

Derek easily rolled out of bed and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Deal."

Meredith pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved tee as she watched Derek pull on the jeans he had worn home the previous day and attach his pager.

"Good idea," she mumbled, grabbing her own pager off the bedside table. "Maybe Izzy will take pity on me and page me to get out of this."

"Would you girls really do that?"

Meredith shrugged. "Cristina definitely would. I'm not so sure about Izzy."

Derek chuckled as he pulled a sweated over his tee shirt. "Let's get down there before she opens the cookie jar."

Meredith groaned. "That's so not something I want to explain."

They made their way down the stairs together and Meredith took a breath before marching through the kitchen door, confident that Derek would follow her.

"Uh, hi," she spoke softly, taking in the sight before her. Susan was standing centre stage in the kitchen, grocery bags of varying fullness surrounding her on the counters, floors and table.

"Good morning, Meredith," Susan said cheerfully, her eyes flickering from Meredith's long enough to smile a greeting to Derek. "I was up early and thought you could use some things. I know how busy you kids are at the hospital all the time."

Meredith took and breath as she sank into one of the kitchen chairs. "You, uh, brought groceries last week." The comment came out a little more accusatory than she meant.

There was a moment of awkwardness as Susan stared uncertainly at Meredith and Meredith stared back, just as uncertain. It was times like these that Meredith wished she had never set foot on her father's front step so many months ago. Maybe then Thatcher would never have known she was back in Seattle. Maybe then she wouldn't be stuck in this strange world she found herself in; the world where a family she didn't know if she could trust came at her at different times and with different intensities to get to know her. After a lifetime of taking care of herself and not relying on or trusting anyone more than she absolutely had to, Meredith felt like she was loosing her footing. And only her newfound family of Derek and her friends were keeping her upright.

Derek's hand landed on her shoulder in a move that was meant to appear light and easy to Susan, but which Meredith knew was meant to show her support; to remind her that he was there and Susan was okay. "You have to get groceries every week, if you want more," he responded to Meredith's comment.

Susan laughed and Meredith cracked a smile; she was always surprised at how easily Derek could suck the stress out of an awkward moment. His comments and jokes may be corny, but they were effective. And he could always calm her down.

Always.

"Are you kids not working this morning?"

"We get to go in a little later this morning," Meredith responded, much less tension in her voice now.

"That's nice."

"Yeah. It's amazing how quickly you get used to going in before dark."

"And leaving after dark," Derek finished as he puttered around the kitchen preparing coffee as he avoided the vast amount of groceries. "Susan, coffee?"

"Sure."

"How do you take it," Derek asked as he fished three mugs out of the cupboard.

"A little milk and two little bits of sugar. It's my weakness. I used to be more conscious of what I ate, but then you reach a certain age and it just stops mattering."

"Tell that to Derek," Meredith responded. "He's a health nut. No fun food at all."

Derek rolled his eyes. "That's not true."

Meredith scoffed. "It so is." She turned back to Susan. "You wouldn't believe the amount of tasteless food he makes me eat."

"It's not tasteless," Derek retorted. "And the amount of healthy food you eat is far less than the amount that a normal person eats."

Meredith narrowed her eyes. "Are you saying I'm not normal?"

Derek chuckled as he placed a mug on the counter in front of Susan and headed to the kitchen table with two black coffees. "That's exactly what I'm saying," he said with a smirk.

Meredith huffed as she slid her offered coffee mug close and tried to ignore her boyfriend.

Susan smiled warmly at them. "Well, Meredith, you'll be happy to know I brought you plenty of good tasting food."

"Thank you," she said with a triumphant smile sent Derek's way.

Pretending he didn't notice the look, Derek sat back in his chair. "So, Susan, what had you up shopping so early this morning?"

She shrugged. "It's the best time to shop. Everything is fresh at the grocery stores. And I've always been a morning person, so I like to get my errands out of the way early."

Derek nodded. "Sounds like a good plan."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "How can you two actually like getting up in the morning? Seriously."

Susan smiled softly at her. "I take it you're not a morning person. You get that from your father."

Meredith sucked in a breath at Susan's comment, but realized it wasn't as awkward as she had expected. She released her breath with a, "huh," not really sure what to say in response, but also not feeling the immediate need to be defensive, as she felt so normally where her father was involved.

Derek chortled. "Saying she's not a morning person is an understatement."

She swiped a hand at him, catching him unprotected across his stomach. "Hey! You're supposed to be on my side."

With an 'oompf,' Derek sat forward, blocking her from further attacks. "I'm with Susan on this. Us morning people need to stick together."

Meredith rolled her eyes, and was set to retort, only to be cut off by the sounds of a pager going off. On instinct alone, both her and Derek's hands reached to their respective waists.

"It's mine," Derek murmured, holding his pager up to inspect the small scroll traveling across the screen. "Damnit. It's a nine-one-one." He glanced at Meredith apologetically. "I have to go."

She nodded. "One of your patients?"

He shook his head and stood. "An accident," he responded, sending her an apologetic look.

"Good luck," she said softly, her way of letting him know it was okay.

Derek glanced towards Susan. "It's nice to see you again, Susan. I'm sure we'll be seeing you again."

"Nice to see you too, Derek."

He swooped down and pressed his lips against the side of Meredith's head. "See you at work."

Meredith craned her head and tracked him with her eyes as he hurried out of the kitchen. When she turned back, Susan was smiling at her. "What a life you two lead. Running off at the sound of a beep."

Meredith shrugged. "Hospital owns us, I guess."

Picking up her coffee, Susan ventured over to the table and sat across from her sort-of-step-daughter. "It's too bad there's no way around that; to be able to save lives on your own schedule."

Meredith smiled. "It's a nice thought. I guess that's what leads surgeons into private practices. Well, that and the money."

"Is that something you're hoping to do? After your residency?"

"Probably not. Derek spent a few years in a private practice, and he hated it. There isn't a lot of variation, and I guess a lot of the patients are snobby rich people."

Susan laughed, setting her mug on the table and seeming to relax in her position of now sitting with Meredith.

Meredith found herself smiling, wanting Susan at ease. This...wasn't quite as hard as she had thought it would be.

"It sounds like you'll be at the mercy of your pager forever."

It was Meredith's turn to laugh. "Yeah...I guess that's not something to look forward to, but we'll make do." She shrugged.

Susan tilted her head ever so slightly, regarding Meredith carefully.

Meredith furrowed her brow. "What?"

"I just...Is that your plan?"

"To live at my pager's mercy forever?"

"No; I mean Derek. You said 'we.'"

Realization hit. "Oh," Meredith stammered. This was new territory for her. She had never had a maternal figure to talk to about boys. She knew a lot of girls talked like this with their mothers, but was it normal to talk about your live-in-boyfriend-maybe-probably-soon-to-be-fiancé-person with your estranged father's wife? "I, uh...yeah. I said we," she finally settled on a safe statement; agreeing to Susan's statement.

Susan pursed her lips for a moment, giving Meredith just enough time to panic. Her mother had questioned her about Derek, and it had ended badly, so Meredith did what she did best when she didn't know the right thing to say; she said everything. "I mean, we're both doctors, so yeah, there's the pager. And there's really no getting away from the pager, because, hello, we're doctors, but I just said that... And we're going to be doctors, together, for...well, forever, but we're good...as doctors, and together. We can do both. It's not going to be easy, but we know that, and we're going to be fine. Really fine, like good, not just fine, because fine has to come to have a negative connotation, and maybe I need to take some blame in that, but really, it has done me well in the past, because it can have so many levels depending on how you use it, and just because I over used it just a bit doesn't mean..." she stuttered to a halt. "I'm a little off my point, which was-"

"That you did in fact say 'we,'" Susan supplied, her eyebrow raised in amusement.

Meredith nodded. "I did. I'm sorry. I ramble."

"It's okay. I'm used to it. Both of my girls ramble, too."

"Oh, that's...I don't really know what that is..."

"It's okay," Susan repeated. "You don't always have to have an answer, Meredith. And if you're uncomfortable talking about Derek, we can talk about something else."

"No, it's okay. Really. I'm just..." She sighed and surveyed the older woman curiously for a long moment. Susan had not snapped at her once. There was no judgement in her eyes. She truly seemed genuinely interested. Maybe Meredith could let her in a little... "I don't really know how to talk...about things. No one has ever wanted to listen before, except my mother, and she wasn't exactly...accepting. If she didn't hear exactly what she wanted to hear...well, let's just say, she got disappointed a lot."

Susan smiled warmly at her. "I don't have any expectations, Meredith. I just want to get to know you, to know something about what your life is like." She took a moment to take a breath before continuing. "I feel responsible sometimes, for what happened between you and your father. I knew about you. And I should have pushed him to be more involved in your life." She sighed heavily. "But we fell in love so quickly, and we got married and it was new, and that's what mattered to me at the time." Susan shook her head and avoided Meredith's eyes, almost as if she were ashamed.

"We were the adults, Meredith. You were only a child. There was nothing you could have done. But I should have done something. I should have pushed him. But I didn't. And the years went by, and I started telling myself too much time had passed." She finally found the strength to meet Meredith's gaze again. "It's unacceptable, what I did. And I know I don't have a right to ask you for anything, Meredith, but I want to be a part of your life. I hope you'll come to realize that all I want is to know you. There's no judgement here."

Meredith slowly inhaled. And slowly exhaled. And then she nodded. "Okay."

Susan's eyes widened, before narrowing quickly. "Okay?"

Meredith shrugged. "Yeah. Okay. We can do this, have the step-whatever relationship thing."

"We can?" There was a hint of dampness in Susan's eyes.

"We can. Slowly. You've been doing the mother thing for a long time, but I don't really know what I'm doing on the...daughter front. This is all new to me, to have someone be interested."

Susan reached across the table, seeking Meredith's hand. "Thank-you, Meredith."

With only slight hesitation, Meredith reached forward too. And smiled. Maybe she could do the family thing.