Fifty-Three

"Do all of you eat together usually?" I asked a little into eating.

"Mm. Most of the time." He nodded. "Unless someone has work. It's almost always Baekjae who's missing because of his shooting though. We try to eat together since the food gets prepared for everyone together."

"Makes sense. Who cooks most?"

"Beomseok Hyung and Jaemin Hyung cook most of the time. Youngjae cooks well too. Even Minho does but he doesn't quite enjoy it." He chuckled. "Oh. Baekjae's a good cook too but he's hardly home so we don't usually count on him."

"So… Hyeonwoo Sunbae and you don't cook at all." I deducted.

"I could if I tried. Just never had to." He shrugged. "What about S.T.A.Y? Who cooks?"

"Jaehyeon Hyung and I." I replied. "Mingyu does too occasionally but I guess it's almost always me."

"You did cook a couple of times when we were trainees." He recalled. "It's been so long. You should feed me sometime."

"It'll be a while before I get a chance to." Maybe I could invite him over to our dorm sometime? It will be difficult to find an occasion without the others though. This was an inevitable demerit of living with so many others. "I'll feed you whenever you want given the chance."

"I'll make the most of it then~" He smiled and continued eating.

Tomorrow, this time, you'll probably be flying and I will be at home if not at work…

"How did it go today?" I ventured a question. "With your family."

"My sister called me a creep." That was his immediate response. That made me laugh.

"Why?"

"The disguise- cap, glasses and all that." He clicked his tongue. "It's not like I WANT to wear all that. I want to be able to go around with them properly too. It cannot be helped if that makes me look like a creep."

This particular pair of siblings had always been like that. It did not look like much was going to change between them either. "How are your parents doing?"

"Good." He raised his eyes from the food to my face. "Mother asked about you."

"And?"

"I said that you were busy but doing good. Told them that you couldn't meet them because of work. They would have loved to meet you."

"I'll try to meet them next time. But what was it like? Crisp and formal, normal or emotional and melodramatic?"

"It was mostly normal. Mother got a little emotional towards the end. Even my sister seemed a little sad but she was trying to not show it. She can be really cute sometimes."

"We all know that she's the one who misses you the most when you're away from home. If you're not even going to be in the country then…" I shrugged, then remembered something. "I really haven't met them since I debuted, have I?"

"That long?" He asked. "Doesn't feel like it."

"I know, right? But it really has been that long. Your sister was still in first year of High School when I last met her."

"That was even before I debuted." He stated.

"Right. I mean, how could I have met them without you anyway."

He pretended to be hurt. "I know that I hadn't been with you much back then but you don't need to rub it in my face…"

That was not what I had meant but I did not go to clarify. He should know. I just shook my head and smiled.

"Ah. S.T.A.Y's touring Asia and Europe, huh? When are you leaving?"

"Three weeks after the new album releases."

"Excited? S.T.A.Y's really going places." He grinned. "From your concept photos, it looks promising. You've got quite the support online too. Everyone's talking about it- All Hands on Deck."

"They've got a lot coming their way with this album." I was feeling excited about this comeback but I was also anxious. This was our first release after we got so popular. There was no saying how I would be received by those who had loved Blue Ink. Allowing those thoughts to remain so that they may remind me of what all our work really meant to us, I turned to Changmin. "It really would have been nice if you had been here when it released though."

"Don't worry, I'll be keeping track of it. You'll hear from me about it as soon as I listen to it fully."

"That's a given." I said casually. "You have to do that by default."

He chuckled. "Yes. I know."

Even through the rest of dinner, while we touched upon everything in its periphery, we avoided the topic of his leaving entirely. He must have not wanted to talk about it and ruin the mood but for me, I just did not want to talk about it because then I could pretend that it wasn't going to happen. That was my way of avoiding the obvious. Just as I had avoided talking to him about our relationship after he had kissed me the first time. It wasn't the best way to deal with things but it worked to get me through the day.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Changmin asked as he got out two cans of beer from the fridge after we had wound up post-dinner.

"Do we have time? I won't finish watching it later on my own if we can't finish it tonight." I waited by the kitchen door.

"We may not be able to finish it." He smiled wryly and joined me in the doorway. "We could just turn on sports or something."

"That, I do not mind." I shrugged.

"Let's go then." He pulled me in to hold me by my shoulders and literally guided me into the living room, letting go only to pick up the remote from the TV stand. I sat down on the floor in front of the couch. He smiled knowingly on seeing this and came to sit beside me on the floor as he switched on the TV. Once we had settled on a channel, he set the remote down on the coffee table and leaned back against the couch, draping an arm over it behind me.

I looked at the time on my watch. It was already 09:00 pm. This evening just seemed to go by as quickly as any other moment that we had been able to spend with each other.

Ah. This was also going to end soon.

I scooted in closer and leaned against him. He let out a small chuckle at that act of mine as he sipped beer from the can in his right hand. The left arm that had been draped over the couch then came to hold me close by my shoulders.

Quietly, we let a few minutes pass us by as we had our beer. A few minutes after that, however, with my beer can nearly empty, this stand-offish behaviour became too much for me to bear. It wasn't even just about him leaving the next day. It was also about not having gotten him to myself for a while.

I set my can down on the floor beside me and turned my body towards him so that I could hug him properly around his torso and cuddle up.

"Jeongwoo-ya." He breathed in a deep breath that I could almost hear fill his chest. "If you do that, I won't be able to hold back anymore."

"You don't really need to though." I said, nudging my head into the crook of his neck.

"Mm." He took one more gulp of his beer and pulled me away by the arm still wrapped around my shoulders. There was a pause as he held my gaze before he brought his face closer to mine, the free right hand finding my chin. Tipping my face up just a little, he claimed my lips. We indulged in a few quick kisses before he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine, his thumb tracing my jawline slowly. "I've been wanting to kiss you since I saw you today."

"And you held back till now?" I asked, letting the amusement show on my face. "You stopped quickly even earlier in the kitchen."

"I did not bring you here with any… intentions. I really had just wanted to have a peaceful dinner and spend some quality time with you in private."

"We've had our share of that." I smirked, feeling a little bold. Clutching his T-shirt at the side, I pulled him closer. "I appreciate you being considerate, Hyung, but a little indulgence is okay."

"Needy much?" He kissed me.

"Just… making use of whatever time we have." I smiled. Just then was the safest that we had been since we began dating. It was only natural that I would want to make the most of it.

"If that's what you want…" He pressed his lips to mine, placing his hands on my shoulders and pushing me back against the couch such that he was leaning over me from where he was sitting to my right. This time, the kisses were patient but less teasing and more passionate. They made my chest feel tight.

Changmin's left hand snaked around my waist in between the kisses. From just leaning over, he had come to loom over me somehow. There was a weird feeling in the pits of my stomach. It was probably because of how long it had been since we had even gotten a chance to share a kiss but all this was very stimulating.

My left hand on his shoulder, I left the other one on his back, reaching around from over the arm around my waist. I tightened my grip on his shoulder when he nipped my lower lip, letting out a shaky breath. "Hyung…"

"Sorry." He kissed my jaw. "I'm not going to see you for a while after this. I… might be a little desperate right now."

Don't say stuff like that.

"I- Mn." I started speaking but he swallowed up my words in another kiss. He caressed my cheek with his right hand and then slid it down the side to the base of my neck, his thumb tracing my collar bone just above the neckline of my T-shirt. "H-Hyung-" I managed to call and caught the hand at my neck. "This is-"

"Jeongwoo." He kissed my cheek and my lips rather tenderly.

This was reassurance. It was compelling enough to make me release his hand. I felt him smile into the kiss, then he drew back a bit and kissed the corner of my lips. The next time he kissed me, I felt his tongue against my lips. Understanding what he was seeking, I opened my mouth just enough to allow him to slip his tongue in, locking my arms around his neck.

Changmin…

The hand at my neck drew down to my chest and to my abdomen. He lay a palm flat against my stomach while he indulged in the intimate kiss for a while. Then I felt his hand slide along to my side and then to my waist. Soon after, his fingers grazed my skin, slipping smoothly under my T-shirt. A chill ran up my spine. I dropped my left hand from around his neck to his chest. I could vaguely feel his heart beating against my palm.

This felt good.

It felt so good that it took me a few seconds to realise that the distant-sounding beeping that I was hearing was not just in my head. Changmin too had obviously heard it because the fingers that were slowly tracing my pants' waistline came to a stop and he gripped me side tersely.

That beeping was the sound of someone entering the passcode at the front door.

"Hyung, wai-" I pushed against his shoulder but he came right back for one more kiss and moved away from me completely only as the front door opened. I hastened to pull my T-shirt down and wipe my mouth off with the back of my hand. Changmin had gone to sitting beside me properly when the person who had just come home stepped in.

"Oh? Jeongwoo?" His surprise was evident in his voice.

"H-Hyeonwoo Sunbae." I gave him the most convincing smile that my pounding heart could allow just then. "Welcome back."

You could have given me at least a moment to prepare myself, Changmin!

"I wasn't expecting to see you here." He smiled in return and turned to Changmin. "I thought you were going out with him."

"That was the plan originally but we came here instead." Changmin shrugged and responded casually. His beer can was back in his right hand and his eyes were glued to the TV.

"I see." Hyeonwoo Sunbae brought his eyes back to me. "This is your first time here, right? It's nice to see you. We hardly have people over so… this is a pleasant surprise."

"Thank you. It's really funny how we're so close but haven't really visited each other." I added thoughtlessly, my mind still blank from the sudden change in happenings.

"You're back early though, Hyung." Changmin spoke and finally looked at Hyeonwoo Sunbae. "What happened?"

"Ah. My elder brother had to leave. His girlfriend needed him." Hyeonwoo Sunbae scratched the back of his head wryly. "Well, that's that. Have you both eaten?"

"Yes." I replied.

"Okay." He glanced at the TV and then began walking towards the corridor that led to the bedrooms. "I'm going to my room. Drop in if there's anything."

"Thank you." I called after him. I waited a few more seconds after I couldn't see him anymore before I turned to Changmin and lightly punched his arm twice. Then I sank a little into the floor and pouted, picking up my can of beer. "Idiot."

"Ah. Seriously." He sighed and messed up his hair in frustration before looking at me. "Sorry. I just-" He paused and peeked towards the corridor before leaning in again and hugging me around my shoulders, placing his chin on my right shoulder. "Jeongwoo."

"Hyung." I planted a palm on his face and moved it away. "You could have at least given me a moment to collect myself."

"I'm surprised I was even able to break away from you." He caught my hand and lowered it from his face. "It was getting a little dangerous."

You think?! You were full on feeling me up!

"I'll… use your washroom." I pushed him off of me and climbed to my feet, pausing to keep myself from wobbling.

Woah…

He let out a defeated breath and stood up too, patting my back. "Come."

I… could have gone on my own.

Nevertheless, I let him guide me to his room after switching off the TV. He showed me the lights to the washroom and went to sit on his bed. I paused by the door and watched him briefly before going in and shutting the door behind myself.

He seemed bummed out.