Monday

RO

"What's wrong? Are you okay, Ro?"

I was clutching my chest when Tyrone, one of the oldest brothers we have in the sanctuary sat beside me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I was catching my breath still.

"I… a…. dream." – I said, gasping. Suddenly, the words don't make sense. It's like I was only fumbling with the few ones my tongue can still remember. There was only one thing that I couldn't stop associating at the moment: FEAR.

"Wait here. Let me get you some water."

I nodded and attended to my own uncontrolled breathing. I closed my eyes and let myself calm down by breathing slowly and steady. I held my cheeks and realized they're wet. I bet I was crying in my sleep then. Again.

I observed around and knew it was already morning. I slept. A win. However, the dreams were still there, the haunting didn't stop. Nor will they ever be, I guess.

Tyrone came back with a green bamboo cup the women on our group made. I received it and drank the entirety of the water in just four gulps. Tyrone was looking at me with concern on his dark ocean eyes. This time, his long blonde hair wasn't kept in a bun and one look at him, you may even mistake him as a woman. That if you only look at his face because from the neck down, he was too muscular to be mistaken as one.

I stood up and wrapped myself with a blanket.

"What day is it today?" – I asked, hoping it's Monday.

"Monday."

There. Monday. My favorite day of the week.

A hint of a smile crossed my still-scared face. Despite the fear that I still cling on, I finger-combed my hair and curled it into a bun. With the hair tie on my wrist, I held my hair and secured it.

"Come on, Ty."

He gave me a nod and we walked out of the sleeping area. As we ascended the stairs to the surface, I can hear the familiar sounds of the people talking, working, laughing. If you could just stand here and listen, it's like a normal world out there, only a little bit less. The usual noise of a busy city, minus a huge number of people.

We got greeted with a lot of good mornings as we reached the surface. Children were taking a bath from the nearby well the men dig. The women were skinning rabbits at the side for our breakfast. The men were sharping their spears and lances. Benz was nowhere in sight, and I guessed he already went somewhere to sleep. His shift has ended at sunrise.

"The kids are adorable, don't you think?"

"Yeah. Some of them are orphans, you know. Just like me."

He paused. Perhaps Tyrone was thinking of what careful thing to say.

"Well, the kids are more than lucky to be here. They have a lot of adults to supervise them growing up. It's like gaining more parents after losing one or two."

I smiled. I see no lie in what he just said. He was right. Here, the children get to gain a new family of their own. They get to meet some friends and be trained as soldiers as well. To me, that's better. Loneliness pry less in a place where many people exist.

Tyrone bid his goodbye as the grownup men called him. I, however, made my way to the smoking area where the young girls were starting a fire with dry twigs and leaves.

"Good morning, girls. Do you need help?"

"Good morning, Ro. We kind of are."

Cindy said as she broke the twigs into smaller pieces. The other three girls were having trouble and nodded at Cindy's idea as well. I gave them a smile and knelt in front of the assembled logs. Dried leaves were stuck at the center and Ginna gave me the lighter. I leaned in closer to reassemble the logs, starting with the thick ones and use the twigs at the center. I also removed the dried leaves that was crowding the small opening at the middle.

"Do you guys have a knife?" – I asked

Ginna handed me a pocket knife and I muttered my thanks. With it, I got a small portion from the flip flops I was wearing, right at the sole at the back of my heel. Two of the young girls gasped.

"Why did you do that, Ro?" – Kiya asked, looking confused

"This will help us better. The dry leaves are fine but this catches fire more."

I explained as I lit the piece of my footwear with a lighter. It immediately caught fire and I placed it at the middle of our little bonfire. Above it, I placed more twigs. The girls observed, looking amazed as the fire got bigger and bigger.

"Wow, that's better. Why is it so easy with you, Ro?" – Ginna

"That's just how my mother used to do it."

"Really? Maybe next time we'll also ask her to teach us!" – Cindy

My face soured. But then, I realized the innocence of these children. They may still be unaware of the real thing that's happening out there. Who knows what they know about loss and death? Their minds were still too precious to be filled with negativities. It is by that reason that I chose not to tell them.

"Sure, I'll tell her."

"That's amazing. We'd love to learn, Ro!" – Ginna

"I'm sure you do. Now, leave this to me. You need to prepare for your Monday trainings."

The four of them got up and waved goodbye to me. They ran back to their mothers who were preparing the rabbit meat. I sat there and observed them. The four young girls who I just had an interaction with… they all have mothers in the sanctuary. As what I thought, they know nothing about loss. Or maybe just yet. I know there is still a lot of war waiting ahead of us. It's better not to be attached to these people. I won't know what type of dance the fate is playing with us. I don't want to be attached and grieve another loss. I have enough nightmares for that.