You abandoned me

This might be the longest elevator ride I will ever take. I sighed inwardly.

"Is that true?" Ashton asked, his teeth gnashing. He was trying his best to control his anger.

"What is?" I asked feigning innocence.

"What you said about wanting to spend time with Hunt?" he snarled.

"So what if it is true?" I retaliated hating the fact that he still thinks that he has the right to question me. He keeps forgetting that he no longer has any right to comment on what I do and who I am with.

"Then you just have to keep waiting until Jennifer comes back, maybe then you will be able to work in the same department." he responded.

I just kept quiet. I do not want to honor his petty remark. If that is what he decided upon then I will wait until I get to have the rotation that can make me learn.

"What happened to us, Helena?" he asked after some time. "What happened to my sweet Helena?"

"I have always wondered where it all went wrong." he continued when he did not get any response from me. "I know that my family dislikes you, but that is not enough for us to be broken. I have fought all kinds of battle for us. I made it clear that I only wanted to be with you. They knew it and you knew it. What happened? To you? To us?" he sighed.

"You abandoned me, Ashton." I responded. I wanted to make it clear to him what happened but I can feel my heart constricting because of the onslaught of memories.

The moments where I wanted to help him earn money but ended up jobless thanks to his family who did their best for me not to accomplish anything.

I can remember myself and the countless of hours I spent waiting for him to come back home. I remember the moments where I felt like I was the most worthless person he had the misfortune of meeting. He may not have said that in so many words but the look in his eyes when he looked into mine was enough to make me feel like a trash.

Those moments when I wanted him beside me through my doctor's check up but he said that he was too busy earning money to be bothered by my monthly check ups. Those moments where I waited for him to check on me and asked me how the doctor's appointment went but never came. How he wanted me to keep my condition a secret to everyone.

That made it all clear to me. He never really wanted me. He just saw me as someone who he thought he can rescue. Who he thought needed his help. Who he thought needed some knight in shinning armor.

I may have been socially awkward but I never felt lonely. Not after the Smith's adopted me. They made me feel like I really had a family. That I belonged to a family. I never wanted a lot of friends. Having Bryanna was enough for me.

I never wanted the hypocrisy that others would painstakingly go through just to have so many friends. But they would end up as worthless as a block of wood in times of need. But when Ashton came to my life, he made me look like I was a pathetic fool for thinking that the Smith's would always be by my side. He said that they would never see me as one of their own.

He said he was different. He said that I was a gem that was undiscovered. He used to call me his unpolished diamond. No one called me that. No one thought of me like that. No one said that I was beautiful, aside from my parents and Bry of course. Reagan, Bry's brother would just look at me and smirk whenever his parents or Bry would tell me I am pretty.

That always made me thought that they were just trying to comfort me. They were just saying these out of obligation and not really mean it. That made me thought Ashton was different. That he meant every word that he said because he is not obligated to praise me. He would not gain anything if he tells me these stuff.

He would always talk to me about how he fought for me. How he battled against his family for our love. That he did all the work while I just waited for him.

Oh, how wrong he was. He never knew that my parents and siblings were against us too. How painful it was for me to see the disappointment that was written in their eyes when I told them my decision.

My mind instinctively tried to stop everything from flooding back. It doesn't want to remember all the memories that made me what I am today.

"When did I do that?" he asked clearly not aware of what he has done.

"Multiple times." I replied.

"Please, Helena, tell me what happened." he begged me, his hands tightening on my arm.

"Would it matter if you knew?" I whispered. "Would it change anything?"

"No, it won't. But at least I will know what went wrong. What happened. So that I will know what to do and how to make things right." he whispered back.

What to do? How to make things right? That will never happen. Its too late for us. The damage has been done and I don't want to add more pain to either of us.

"Look Ashton, no matter how hard we try, we will never be able to erase those years that we have spent with each other. Don't get me wrong, I was happy at some point in those years but the happiness can't overcome the pain that I got. It cannot compensate with the loss that I had to suffer." I said quietly while looking at him. I was hoping that my eyes would convey to him a more clearer message that I just do not want to pick up where we left off.

"But I suffered too, Helena. I am being eaten by guilt every day." he whispered, pain evident in his voice and face. "That is why I wanted to make it work between us this time. Helena, please give me another chance." he begged.

There was a pang in my heart. If only it were that easy.

"There is no longer an us, Ashton. It was over, I think even before it really started." I whispered and went out of the elevator.

Just in time, I thought. I almost spilled my tears in front of him. I just walked with my head bowed that it took my by surprise when I was engulfed by an unfamiliar yet somehow familiar arms.

He just quietly held me in his arms. When I looked up, I saw him looking at someone behind me. I do not have to guess who that person is since Jeff greeted him politely.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Kempt." Jeff said.

"Helena, we are not yet done talking." Ashton said while ignoring Jeff's greetings.

"Good bye, Mr. Kempt." I said in a barely audible voice. "Let's go." I looked at Jeff and Edison.

Edison looked at me intently, saw my unshed tears which made him clench his teeth. But being the man that he is, he never questioned me. He just started to lead me away from him, from Ashton.

"Don't worry, babe. You have me." he whispered and gave me a gentle kiss on my forehead. I felt safe. I felt secured. I felt like I could start again. I felt like I could free myself from everything that held me back.