Charlie is Dumb

I felt it like you feel hunger. A begging to be touched. To be hugged tightly, tightly.

Don't let me go.

12/3/2019

I feel completely ordinary. Small talk is all that I can manage these days. My life is coming to an underwhelming decrescendo. I'm not even happy. I get the 'sacrifice' that comes with knowledge. I get that you're…doomed to a life of pain. But being ordinary has given me nothing but cruel empathy. And now I feel it, deep in my chest. A rush of loneliness that won't leave. It's settled once again in my bones. What is left for me here? What is left?

Jack

I was standing on the edge of the world. Looking down, there was nothing but darkness.

<<where the hell are we?>>

Ah.

The ugly mug was walking up to me, scowling & being an overall buzzkill. Ugly came to a stuttering halt when he noticed the chasm of doom we were standing over. <<Oh, we are dead. We are so dead. You've killed us all.>>

Elvis spoke up. <<Charlie, chill. We probably just took a wrong turn somewhere.>>

Charlie turned around to glare at Elvis. <<yeah. A wrong turn that's gonna cost us our lives.>>

<<you're so fucking dramatic.>> Elvis laughed.

Charlie shoved him towards the cliff edge, being the lunatic that he is, ignoring the panicked curses Elvis spluttered. <<shut up squid!>>

We hadn't eaten in 2 days, &… Charlie gets hangry.

Oh okay. The situation had escalated, and Charlie now had Elvis held by his neck, dangling him over the edge. He was clawing at his neck & kicking his legs, looking for purchase.

I looked at Charlie.

<<what?>> Charlie glared. I shrugged.

Elvis pulled out a knife and stabbed blindly at Charlie…Charlie let him go with a yelp…Elvis fell.

I winced at the fading screams.

It felt oddly reminiscent of another day, far, far earlier...

<<Get back to the car.>>

<<I don't have time for this. Get in the car.>>

<<Get up. C'mon, Charlie. Let's go, okay? It's getting dark, so just…>>

<<Ch- god. Jack, could you try talking to him?>>

Jack reluctantly joined them. He awkwardly signed out <<um. we do have to go.>>

<<I can't do this. We're kicking her out of the group>>

<<That's retarded. We're in the middle of a desert. You can't just leave her here.>>

<<Yeah I can.>>

Jack remained unimpressed.

<< I'm not driving with her! She's actual turd!>>

<<we gotta deal with this later.>>

…

clawing and pounding and screaming.

…Oh. I've gotten distracted again. I looked around, trying to spot my stupid, stupid colleague. Where did he run off to? do you know? I eyed Elvis questioningly. His lifeless orbs stared back at me blankly.

I guess that's a no.

Maybe he made it back to the car already. I started walking back by myself, frowning as some pebble got in my shoe. I kept walking, not bothering to take it out, limping a little with the sharp pain that shot through my foot with each step. I caught movement in front of me. I squinted to see who it was. Ah. He made it back after all.

<<hurry the fuck up. It's almost dark.>> I glared at Charlie but picked up my pace to catch up.

I walked with him a couple of steps and smiled, giving an impression of peace, before I slithered my hand into his pocket and took off running with the keys.

Ow, my foot. A sharp edge of the pebble stabbed into me, breaking the skin and nestling inside the bottom of my fleshy skin.

I felt the insole start to soak with blood and died a little inside as ow, ow, ow,- Ignore it. I skidded around the side and rammed into the door, struggling to get in and shut it behind me.

Charlie wasn't far behind, and he hit the window, yelling at me to <<unlock the door, cunt>>

I laughed at him and started up the car, stepping on the gas and driving a couple meters before relenting and coming to an unfortunate stop.

Charlie ran up and wrenched the door open, swearing and breathing heavily and bleeding all over the passenger seat. Ew.

Calmly, I picked up the map off the floor of the back seat and turned on the light to find where we were, eyes agreeing to work for the moment, ignoring Charlie as he demanded to drive. <<It's my fuckin' car, man **wheeze** Gimme the-**wheeze*…*wheezing* gimme the keys or I'll smash your head through the window>>

I rolled my eyes and opened the door, walking around to the passenger side. I pulled out my notebook and wrote.

I'm not sitting on your blood. >:( Get the blanket in the trunk.

Even though Charlie can sign just fine, sometimes I just need the emoticons. I crave them and had been feeling withdrawal symptoms in my grumbling stomach. Or maybe that's just from not eating.

Charlie rolled down the window to take the notebook and I handed him his inhaler with it, remembering after a second. Asthma. Lol. loser.

I waited for him to get situated, pulling off my shoe in the meantime, checking out the rock wedged in my foot. I pulled it out (ow) and put the little rock in my pocket. I rubbed the blood off my foot that I could and put my shoe back on. I glanced up to see if Charlie was getting the blanket.

The idiot was in the driver's seat looking at me rather smugly, no blanket in sight. My hands twitched in annoyance. I got into the car and picked up the notebook he put on the dashboard. He had added a lovely little fuck you in cursive.

I crawled over to his side to hit him and he grabbed at my arms, trying to kick me back to my side of the car. <<Get away from me you psycho>>

I caught a glimpse of his eyes among my own hangry rampage & saw weary pupils, exhaustion, & something else in the blue orbs. I suppose I'll take mercy. No fun beating up someone who can't fight back. I slid over to my chair reluctantly, moping.

Aw, shit. I forgot about the blood. I looked down to assess the damage. The blood was soaking through, so I pulled off my sweater (insert eyebrow wiggles) and threw it at Charlie's face, exiting the car to go around back & pop the trunk myself.

I pushed some of the useless shit around, looking for that ugly wool blanket that used to be Sam's. Oh, Sam. I missed her.

<<Yo! hurry up. What the hell are you doin' back there? Talkin' to the ghosts again, you crazy motherfucker?>> I looked up to see Charlie with his stupid head out the window, grinning at me with his ugly face.

I flipped him off and turned back to the trunk, tossing some of Elvis' things out as I sifted through our stuff. Where's that damn blanket? I felt the familiar prickle of rage as I got more and more frustrated.

I breathed in slowly, trying to calm down. Felt the breeze, heard the wind, felt the ground under my feet, grounding me to the Earth. Ah. All better.

I peered into the very back of the trunk and sighed in relief as I saw that ghastly bright orange peeking out from behind the blurry pile of spray cans Charlie insisted on keeping with us. I reached in and tugged the corner of the blanket out, as I felt a sudden chill go down my spine. We weren't alone.