CHAPTER 10 — The Meaning of Loss and Old Stories

When a loved one dies, it was impossible for Dalmi and her siblings to ignore the sorrow and pain they felt in their hearts at this time. This has all destroyed Dalmi and her siblings. But in truth, this had also destroyed a part of their parents who have passed away.

Although time will make things easier for Dalmi and her brother, the sadness and pain will always be there because they gave Dalmi, Zhuyang, Yinjun, and Changyi many good things to remember in their lives. They miss Jingmi and Yoora. They loved their late parents very much.

The death of Jingmi and Yoora not only left a deep sadness and trauma for Dalmi and her brother. But this grief also provides and leaves so many great experiences and valuable lessons for their survival in the future.

In the end, Dalmi and her brother's grief will make them even more grateful for every second of each day they spend with their loved ones. This grief will make them more aware that their life is very short and precious.

~~~

Only wearing all black clothes complete with hemp armbands on his arms, Yinjun stared sadly at his parents' coffin in front of him at that time. Yinjun's eyes looked puffy. This was because his tears had not subsided since Jingmi and Yoora's last breath in the action room a while ago. This young man's chest was so tight that it almost made it difficult for him to breathe properly.

"Mom, Dad, when I lost Mom and Dad, I wished I could see Mom and Dad one more time. I wish we could walk together through the door in this room. But I know that's impossible. I won't hear Mom and Dad's voice again. I know Mom and Dad can feel my tears. Mom and Dad also don't want me to cry. But my heart is so broken because I don't understand why people who are so precious have to die," Yinjun said quietly. "Mom, Dad... I pray that God will give me strength in some way, that can get me through this grief. I pray that God will give me a lot of strength as I struggle with the heartache that comes when I lost Mom and Dad." Yinjun burst into tears again.

"Mom, Dad, I was actually really angry when I found out you were dead. I screamed at death as if death could hear me, "This isn't fair." And I also asked 'why' a thousand times. All my questions, doubts and fears right now are just answered with silence. Amidst the anger, there was heartbreak and disbelief when I heard Mom and Dad died today. This couldn't be real. This couldn't be my reality, this couldn't be yours. But this nightmare and this sadness is reality. And In fact, I lost my parents whom I loved very much." Changyi who was sitting between Yinjun and Dalmi chimed in with his stammered speech.

Changyi will probably never know the reason, why he ended up having to lose the parents he loved so much. But actually, Changyi also didn't think after this there was an explanation that might make him and the current situation feel fine. Right now, love has been filled with a certain amount of sadness. What was always there, will no longer be seen in his eyelids. Even though after this moment, the anger in Changyi's heart faded away, but his wish for Jingmi and Yoora to stay by his side for real would never happen.

"Although Mom and Dad will never come back and sit with me here, but I hope I can make Mom and Dad feel always proud of me from Heaven," said Changyi — a handsome teenager sits in front of a funeral altar with a portrait of his late parents.

The funeral altar that was erected in the funeral hall is called Jesasang. At this funeral altar there are offerings of food and funeral flowers. Nearby, there was also a large standing arrangement that was sent as a gift from the close family and colleagues of the late Jingmi and Yoora. The mourners who were present at Jingmi and Yoora's service, were able to place funeral flowers on the altar of the late Jingmi and Yoora.

"My children, perhaps you aren't ready to say goodbye to us. Maybe you have thought of the things you want to say, and so am I here.For one thing, I will tell the four of you not to worry about Mom and Dad. Because we're already with God in Heaven. I think you also know that's where Mom and Dad will be. We apologize to all of you because you feel sad while we're feeling happy right now. But we have asked God to comfort and ease your pain when we are not by your side. It was hard at first, but we know our children will get through it. We hope this helps all of you to know we will be waiting for you here," replied the spirit of Yoora who was sitting between her children.

As if they could hear Yoora's giddy voice, Zhuyang and his siblings sobbed even more. The four of them's eyes were completely wet. Sometimes there are quiet voices. These cries proved that they were holding themselves back, but the four of them could clearly see the emotions emitting from them.

"The day God brought Mom and Dad back home to Him, in tears we saw Mom and Dad become helpless and then died. Our hearts were almost broken. We wanted Mom and Dad to be able to stay with us here. But when we saw Mom and Dad are sleeping, you guys look so peaceful and pain free. So, how could we expect Mom and Dad to come back with us here, and suffer again," Zhuyang said tearfully. "Maybe it's true, we were heartbroken at the loss of Mom and Dad. But Mom and Dad didn't go alone. Because a part of us went with Mom and Dad too." Zhuyang stared at the portrait of his late parents with his wet eyes.

A funeral portrait is present at every funeral in Korea. Therefore, it is common for Koreans to choose their own portrait before death, including Jingmi and Yoora. In fact, some photography studios in South Korea only specialize in taking photos of funerals. For Koreans, their funeral portrait is the centerpiece of the funeral altar.

"Zhuyang, don't cry for me and your Mom. We will be fine because heaven is our home and we will stay here forever. Zhuyang, don't cry for us. We are already where we belong. I want you to be happy and try to stay strong. We want to see you someday on the other side better than now. So, please don't cry for us. Here, we are not alone. There are angels with us. They welcome us home. Zhuyang, don't cry for us because we don't feel afraid here. All our pains are gone, and God takes away our tears. This is not the end of everything. We will wait for all of you here when we meet again." From the side of the world unseen by his children, Jingmi touched then embraced them. He gave them encouragement and strength through his warm words.

Jingmi's words to his children are true. Life and this world is just a stopping place, a pause for what is to come, then a resting place along the way to sweet eternity. Of course, everyone has a different journey and a different path along the way. Everyone is meant to learn some things, but it's never meant to stay forever.

Everyone's destination is a place — much bigger than anyone knows. For some the journey will be faster, and for some the journey will be slower. When the journey finally ends, then everyone will claim the big prize. Everyone will find eternal peace with God.

"The deepest pain I've ever felt was the absence of Mom and Dad. Living life without Mom and Dad would change me. And after all this, I'm not the same person anymore. But one thing that will never change from me is the love I hold in my heart. My heart goes out to Mom and Dad. That also includes the amount of time that passes, which can change everything," Dalmi said as she sat in front of her parents' funeral altar with teary eyes. "If only I had the ability to prolong someone's life..." Dalmi said softly when she saw the remaining time of her life clearly depicted on her right arm.

The woman who was wearing an all-black hanbok with a small white ribbon pinned on her head, watched her life clock dwindle. On her right arm, Dalmi saw how much time she had left on earth. Of course, this makes Dalmi review the events of 19 years ago — events that happened when she was so young.

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Nineteen years ago...

When she was a teenager, Dalmi thought she could change the destiny of other people's lives because in fact, she could see the remaining time of other people's lives which was clearly depicted on their right arm. At that time, there was a teenage boy who accidentally hit Dalmi in front of their school, causing her sunglasses and some books in Dalmi's hand to fall on the road.

Seeing Dalmi's sunglasses and books scattered on the street, Dalmi and the male student intended to take the sunglasses and the books. But just as they were about to do so, Dalmi saw a black shadow behind the male student in front of her. In fact, by accident, Dalmi also saw the remaining life time of the male student on his right arm.

"Oh God..." Dalmi's heart skipped a beat when she saw that the male student only had a few minutes left.

Dalmi thought the male student would die when he was crossing the road in front of their school because he was hit by a mini bus that was about to pass in front of their school at that time. Therefore, Dalmi jumped into the middle of the road and blocked the gray mini bus before the male student crossed the road. But in reality, the male student's life clock continues as it should. A male student lying across the street later died after being hit by a dark blue pick-up truck coming from the other direction.

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Returning to reality, realizing at that time Dalmi was lamenting the remaining time of her life that was imprinted on her right arm, making Zhuyang's hand move to grip Dalmi's hand tightly. "Are you really unable to do anything to—