5. I hate France

"This isn't working.."

I let out what's been itching inside my brain for useless hours by now..

Elijah looked up from his screen and stared at me for seconds with his right hand touching his bottom lip..

It was one of his usual looks that shoots at me..

For the past 5 days I've been stuck in his room with him sitting in front of me trying to memorize some of his family and friends..

Apparently me and him being in love means that we need to know things about each others lifestyle and people in it..

After seconds of just staring at me his eyes moved back to his screen..

I sighed..

This is usless..

Whats not fair is that he knows most things about me and my life. For the past days he's been shutting me up with some savage words about me everytime I try to rebel that I get too speechless most times.

To the point that I'm like 2 inches away from freaking out and calling him a crazy stalker.

I shook my head because that thought just sent shevers all over my spine..

Even though I was curious of how he got my information, now after seeing all of this in front of me..

I prefer to not even know..

My movements must've caught his attention, he looked at me again with a warning look and went back to dive in his work.

Hmm..

If he thinks these looks are going to scare me then he must be such a big talker about doing his homework with it being all wrong.

I turned back looking at the papers and pictures in front of me..

It was like an essay that I needed to pass or everything was going to fall apart..

For the past days i was just learning more and more about Elijah's life..

His routine..

Family..

Friends..

Even about some of his business..

He seemed to trust me with all that..

Then again we need this trust to be built between us..

I was able of memorizing his family and close friends..

The fact that I met most of them a couple of days ago helped alot..

He really is good with collecting information..

I stared at all this again..

Realizing that everything is put in action tomorrow..

My wedding is tomorrow..

Fucking tomorrow..

And instead of being too hyper about it with my friends or being out their shopping for my new life..

Here I am in my husband's Hotel room studying about his life..

Ironic isn't it?!..my whole life..

My eyes looked up at Elijah when I heard his voice..

-"you know you don't have to memorize every small detail, you just need to have a little bit of most things."

Flipping over the huge text book in front of me I spoke

_"then why do I have this 100,000 Essay to study?"

His eyes looked at the text book and after a few seconds he decided to take it away, opening the text book he started to highlight the important things.

-"I need you to memorize all the families names and spouse, I don't have much friends so knowing Austin is enough, what you need to focus on is everything that has to do with me.."

He shot his head up at me

"No matter how much you'll memorize its not like seeing it in front of you, so I didn't even bother to sum up all the information and decided to just lit you handle it once you get there." He said with a fake smile all over his face.

-"everything else is just random information that I believe you'll need when you move to London." He said while roaming through the pages.

I don't like the idea of moving to London and I think he got that vibe from the disappointment all over my face.

-" you'll just stay there withe for a couple of months,you'll be the responsible one of your section over there, your only leaving this branch to your Father for some time but you will come back."

"how long?.."

His eyes went back to his work before he answered

-just a couple of months.."

He was silent for some seconds before talking again

-"in the mean time I need you to know everything about me..its a must Jasmine."

"Why are you so strict about this?"

-"because this is my family we're talking about."

"So?"

-"my family knows who I am and knows that I'm not the kind to just randomly marry a girl I've met 2 months ago."

Slowly following up with him i realized something

"They dont believe you do they?"

-"i haven't given them a reason not to because they haven't fully met you."

"Thats not what I mean you know it.."

He let out a small sight before looking away

-"no they probably don't, but that won't matter because one we're already married, two we both will try our best to not let them doubt, and three they know me enough to not jolt into my business too much."

I don't think he's the kind that says everything, from what I've got up until now about him is that he only says what he thinks is enough, even if that's not the whole truth.

-"its not a lie if they can't get to the truth."

"Umm no,its a lie whether they would know or not because you can't change the truth."

His usual smirk was simply drawn on his face

-"you can't change the truth but you can cover it."

"Which is a plain old fashion lie."

He stood up with his hands in both his pockets.

-"Lie or no lie, if we get caught we're both gonna be under the bus."

He was about to leave but my voice made him stop.

"How come you never talked about divorce."

He looked at me with little confusion in his eyes

-"you want to put and end date to our wedding?" He asked with some lack of understanding filling the air.

"No."I started trying my best to sound like I'm not lying.

"I'm asking why don't you?" I said with some wonder.

If I feel like this is going to last for long then I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one here.

"why would I?" He said. He let go of the doorknob and seemed to be waiting for a logic reason.

"Elijah you dont seem like the kind of person to just commit yourself to such responsibilities.."

I couldn't get anything out of him with those calm expressions on his face

-"Hmm..your right." He looked away at the window and smiled a little as if he remembered something .

-"but I don't want to, if i get out of this marriage my parents would just force me into another, I'd rather just stick with someone who I believe could be smart enough to understand me and my needs."

This man is just covered all up with dark concepts,

His looks his words his way of thinking, everything was just so new

I don't even know how I'm going to put on the pieces of his puzzle so I can fully understand.

-"i always forget to ask you, where do you want to go for the Honeymoon.." he said with a small smile on his face and I'm starting to think that this smile is just a fake one he wears to Diminish the calm icy looks that are just his usual stares.

"Honeymoon?.."

-"yeah..you know..that's when new married people go around the world and spend a wonderful remarkable time in their lives..all that stuff .."

Hearing the ironic tone in his words,I rolled my eyes

"I know what it is.."

"then why'd you sound so surprised?"

"I wasn't surprised." I said in a defense tone.

"then what..you don't wish to have one?" The disbelief in his tone made me wonder why he thinks I want one, also The way he asked it was more ironic than before.

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea.."

-" I do..I think it would help us to get and know each other better..it will help up with the act too." He said while looking at the text book.

He got a point..

But I don't think it's a good idea..

-"plus..I doubt your going to get and go on another honeymoon with any other person." He always has to just spit straight facts. I don't know why he is so convinced that this marriage is going to last.

I guess when he didn't get any interaction from me he decided it was a yes..

Because he moved to sit back on the chair that was right beside me

-"how about paris?.."

Moving my head to the side a little, I just can't help but feel amazed at how his eyes almost shock me all the time.

I said almost.

"I hate France." I immediately said with an annoying tone.

He rose both his eyebrows in disbelief..

-"really?.."

I shook my head with all the confident I got..

"and why is that?"

"No reason I just don't like it." I tried my best to sound convincing.

He laughed a little sounding like a kid

-"there isn't such things as "no reason" or "just because"..there is always a reason."

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but thats the truth." Looking away trying not to stare in his eyes.

denying the fact that I'm lying even to my self I smiled a little.

He bended his head a little with some challenge in his eyes

-"if that's the truth then why did you visit it before?"..

How does he know all of this?!

He must've noticed the looks on my face and stared to defend himself

-"i told you I know a lot about you."

"I think me and you need to have a long talk about you telling me everything you know for the sake of my own sanity."

-"exactly why I'm offering 2 free days for only us talking.."

"Okay, we can have our honeymoon but not in France."

"Because you hate it?"

"Yes because I hate it." I repeated his words with an ironic tone.

He stood up to answer the phone that was ringing in his pocket

-"you don't hate France or Paris, you just hate the memories you locked out there probably."

I swallowed a little with some pain in my chest.

I think I'm starting to hate how right he is most times.

"Why are you assuming that?" I asked. He can't possibly know, no one does.

He smiled a little

"Wild guess?" He said with his usual smile.

Yeah he doesn't know anything, i hope not.

He walked to the door ending our conversation before saying on last time

-"think of a place so that I can book our flights one week after we settle in London."

I looked at the clock after he left and let out some breath I didn't realize I captured,

I need to get some enough rest before tomorrow,

Thank God tomorrow is the last day of this Wedding,all I have to do is just wear my wedding dress smile without stopping take lots of photos and this pain is over with,

Well only to start a different kind of pain but at least I won't have too many eyes on me,

I haven't even started officially and I already feel tired from all the burden I got for being married,

This is just too much and I'm afraid its going to be more than I can handle.

°♡°♡°♡°°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡

Ohh my god..

Ohh my god..

"Oh my god.."

I turned around at Lily's voice behind me..

At least I wasn't the only one that was shocked..

I looked back at the mirror in front of me staring at my reflection..

To be honest..

I never thought that I could actually look like this..

I was wearing a long sleeved lace bridal custom dress..

My hair was up in a high bun with some loose hair falling on my ears..

I had a tiara that looked perfect..

It looked perfect..

What any girl could ever wish for..

And without even realizing it until it happened..

It was one of the most things I've ever wished for..

However, not in this situation.

"You look..wow.."

I could see the shock in my sister's reflection behind me..

"Umm..you look.."

"Beautiful.."

Both me and my sister looked at the sound behind us..

My father was standing there with something all over his eyes..

Something he rarely looks at me with before..

Satisfaction..

He walked in slowly into the room still probably shocked at what he is seeing..

"Yeah..beautifully perfect.."

I looked at Lily with a smile as a reply to her compliment..

"You really are a small version of her.."

I smiled at his comment..

It wasn't a compliment..

It was him just remembering his old days..

His days with my mother..

He sees me as a reflection to her..

That I probably need to be perfect like how she is..

But just not my mom's personal perfect but his..

He loves my mother..and I know that..

But it's always been too thin between them..

Sometimes opposite attract will harm you at the end..

You'll lose something in between that you'll never know you did until it's too late..until your way too deep and don't want to go back..

Not can't go back..but don't wish to..

I can just read it all in them

I might never admit it..

But part of me is happy that I dont belong to this family anymore..and doesn't actually care to who or where I go to now..

Because I'm finally free from all the judgemental eyes..the perfect fit..and the effective looks my father and other people always had for me..

I was free..

And that was enough for me to go through this day with a true smile on my face...

.

.

.

.

It was like hours..waiting in that room with lily talking about this fake relationship I had with those delusional feelings..

"So where are you going for the honeymoon?"..

I could hear excitement in her voice..

"Umm..he said it was a surprise.."

"He didn't say anything?"

If I told her it was France..

She'd just stare at me with a blank eye..

"Oweee...how romantic.."

Yeah..

no shit..

I smiled while raising my eyebrows..

I was out of lies by now..

I was never a good liar and she would always catch me..ever since we were little..

That's why I tried to just keep it simple and answer simply..

If I get caught then the shows over before it even begins.

"You seem really nervous..but I totally would be..I mean it's your wedding..!!!!"..

Well that could help with this..

It was silent for a couple of minutes..

And I actually thought that her investigations were over..

I could rest mentally for seconds before going out there..

"So When did he first tell you he loves you?.."

What the hell?

Why would she ask such a stupid question at this time?

I smiled to her which seemed like I got a good memory..

But lord I was freaking out inside..

"He umm..he.."

She shook her head waiting for an answer..

If I start a lie I wouldn't be able to finish it without her catching me..I'm sure of it..

And I can't tell her the truth either..

Ohh Lord..

I just smiled to her staring at her in the eye..

"Ohh come on..dont be shy and just tell me.."

You hear that Jasmine..

Just tell her...

""Jasmine..."

Oh lord help me...

"Seriously?!.."

Think..!!!

think before you act!

"Your doing this to me.."

"He never actually said it.."

She looked at me with a blank face..

And I don't blame her at all

"What do you mean?"

"A, we've only known each other for 2 months, saying such words would just be too.."

I was looking for the right word to not mess it up,how am I going find a word to describe this?

"Umm..too irrational.."

She was silent for a couple of seconds and I think I'm screwed.

She wasn't able of understanding the words I've just said, I can see that in her eyes.

She let out a small ironic laugh

"But getting married isn't?"

Yep. I'm so screwed

I just smiled in return

"Jay, is everything alright?"

I shook my head

"Yep it should be."

If I get caught and she speaks I'm so done.

"There's something your not telling me I'm sure of it.."

Huh.

Theres more that just 'something'

Honey I'm NOT TELLING YOU ANYTHING.

"Jay if yo-.."

Her worlds were cut of with Jack opening the door and I think I just owe him my whole life without him knowing.

"Sorry I'm cutting your girly chat short but we gotta go,its time."

Lily shot me one last look that i couldn't understand before standing up to lead me the way.

I stood up an started to walk,and only the Lord knows how hard my heart was beating.

I kept repeating Elijah's words in my mind to calm my self down

It's not a lie it they can't get to the truth..

It's not a lie it they can't get to the truth..

It's not a lie it they can't get to the truth..

So you know what I only have to do?

DON'T LET THEM GET TO THE TRUTH.!!