Twelve

If I could have undone the imprint that I had left on him unknowingly, I might have done so. Nevertheless, I couldn't deny that the excuse to go back to him was very welcome. I was still in two minds when Terasaki-san and I went to college that evening. We stood a little away from the main gate. The bell had rung and students had started pouring out. Terasaki-san stood by the wall, keeping an eye on me while letting me move about on my own. I wasn't really sure about what to expect or what to say. After all, I was the one who had left without saying anything.

I was justifiably a bundle of nerves and anxiety.

When at long last I saw the familiar figure leave the college gates and turn in my direction, I had every right mind to turn and run away.

Was this really the right thing to do?

Our eyes met.

He halted in his tracks and appeared to hold his breath. I remembered how he'd walked right past me the last time. I guess the meeting back then was so vague that whatever connection was made at the café couldn't have been made then.

A mix of emotions built up within me. Just as I broke into a smile, however, he frowned, pouted, turned around and began walking in the opposite direction.

"Ah!" I had to force my frozen legs to move. "Wait!" I went after him and caught the hem of his jacket, making him stop.

"What?" He asked without even turning to face me. He was clearly upset. His cold voice made me release his jacket too.

"I..." I fumbled for words. "I came to... see you."

"To see me?" He turned to face me, his face expressionless. "You're the one who left in the first place. Think I'll give you a second chance?"

A third chance actually. "A-About that..."

"Go away. Why'd you bother? I didn't want to see you anyway."

"But I heard that you were looking for me." I said, finding his defiant attitude very amusing. He really hadn't changed at all. Although, with this, our equation would probably change. We weren't best friends anymore. There's too much of a gap to become the kind of friends we used to be.

Where did that leave us then?

He recoiled, his face going red immediately. "I-I didn't... Why on earth do you know that?"

"I have my ways." I chuckled. I hadn't seen him so embarrassed since that time in our second year when he had to dress up as the nearby store's mascot duck for his part-time job. "Thank you."

"Huh?" He settled to staring at me in confusion at that.

For not forgetting me. For cherishing me so much. For not giving up on me. "For looking for me."

"T-That's... mostly because I felt restless. It doesn't make sense to me, like I said last time. Without you around, I feel... lost." He looked away. "It's kind of annoying."

"That you can't do without me?" I asked. It did hurt a little to think that it wasn't exactly him who remembered me but this works too.

"Honestly, yes. It's annoying because I can't figure out why." He let out a breath in exasperation. "I don't even know why I am telling you all this so honestly."

You've always been honest with me. "I'm sorry for leaving like that."

"Why did you though? I couldn't help thinking that it was possibly my fault." He looked down.

"It wasn't your fault." I shook my head.

"Then why?"

"I can't... tell you."

"Damn."

I chuckled, although, within, I really just wanted to cry.

He paused a moment before speaking again, as though after contemplation. "I did look for you. No one at the café knew anything though. I had no idea where I might find you, no idea where you lived... It was as though you completely disappeared from this world."

That's a very lonely feeling, Shibata-kun.

"Sorry about that."

"Don't apologise. That's not going to change anything." He said, then cleared his throat and looked at me seriously. "Do you plan on leaving me again?"

Breathe, Akane. "I don't."

"Good then. I'll take your word for it." He looked away briefly. His eyes conveyed that he was happy. "Apology accepted."

Aw.

"We're cool then?" I asked.

"We are." He smiled. The look in his eyes when he gazed at me just then was the affection I was used to seeing. "I'm going to sound creepy again but... I missed you."

That's not creepy at all.

"I missed you too." I admitted. He couldn't be a part of my world but I could be a part of his.

"Really?" He chuckled.

"Why do you think I came all the way here?"

"I don't know. Business?" He rolled his eyes, clearly still showing how upset he was.

Geez... "I came to see you." I reiterated anyway.

His smile widened. "You're making me want to hug you."

Had he been any other random guy, I might have felt the urge to punch him with how he was talking but...

I looked around.

The crowd of students walking past us were uncaring and uninterested. They were unaware of the complex emotions that froze the air around us. This was the space where my world met his.

"Go ahead." I shrugged, trying hard not to lose my composure.

A second passed before I was enveloped in his warmth.

None of it mattered to me anymore- the negative entities that wanted me dead, Terasaki-san who wanted to protect me, my parents to whom I was no longer alive, the duties I was destined to perform... All that mattered was that I had missed him terribly and that he was right there just then.

Life was cruel but it sure was capable if being just as beautiful in the very same moment.

"So... have we really never met before the café?" He breathed, his voice tickling my ear.

"We haven't." I shook my head.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I wish I could tell you everything. I wish I could just stay with you. I wish we could go back to being us. I wish I could erase your uneasiness and clear up your confusion.

He sighed. "Weird."

I love you.

He let go and stepped away. "This is, um... Shit." He looked away and ran a thumb along his eye.

Were those... tears?

"M-Miyazono-san?" I got flustered. "What happened?"

"I don't... know." He composed himself. "I don't understand this at all."

I am so sorry.

"It's okay. We'll work this out somehow." I smiled as warmly as my aching heart could allow just then.

He returned the smile slowly. "Coffee?"

I'd love that.

I turned to look at Terasaki-san. Seeing that I wanted to say something, he came over.

"Heh... Your cousin was also here?" Shibata-kun showed his disappointment on his face. I could do nothing but return a helpless smile at that. He sighed. "I guess he could come too."

"What is it?" Terasaki-san asked.

Before I could say anything, Shibata-kun spoke up. "If it's okay, could we get coffee?"

Terasaki-san frowned and looked at me. I ensured that I looked hopeful. He sighed and shook his head. "Not today."

No?

"Don't give me that look." He planted his palm on my face and turned me away. "There's no time today. She'll meet you tomorrow wherever you want, Miyazono."

No time?

"Tomorrow then." Shibata-kun nodded. "Okay."

"Miyazono." Terasaki-san took something out of his pocket and held it out to him- a yellow gem. This confused the both of us. Terasaki-san continued. "Keep this on you at all times. It's important."

Wait. Was this... Terasaki-san's way of protecting him? I remembered Chiyo's pendant.

"What's this for?" Shibata-kun asked, his brown eyes taking in the sight of the gem as he turned it over in his hand.

"Don't ask questions." Terasaki-san said.

I frowned at him apprehensively. That was rude!

"Oh." Shibata-kun recoiled.

What was that about?!

"Akane." Terasaki-san turned to me. "We need to leave soon."

I composed myself. "Alright. Give us a minute."

"He... doesn't really seem to like me." Shibata-kun smiled wryly when Terasaki-san stepped away from us.

"He's just being protective." I said. Was that really it? "And, um, I can't really tell why but you have to keep that gem with you at all times."

"I will." He pocketed it. "He's waiting for you so... I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes. I'll meet you right here." I agreed.

He reached out and pat my head. "Thank you for coming back."

I couldn't stay away. "Of course."

"See you."

I felt a little lost when the warmth of his palm left my head. With another smile, he left. I ended up just standing there and watching him.

A coffee couldn't have hurt anyone, right?

"Akane." Terasaki-san called from behind.

I turned to level a glare at him. "You were mean to him. What was that about?"

"He can't know."

"You could've conveyed that politely." I pointed out. "He didn't deserve that."

"You don't deserve this." He looked at me seriously.

It was those eyes. Those eyes put a lid on the words I had wanted to say. I ended up looking away.

His voice lowered to an almost warm tone. "Come on. Let's go home."

What was with me? I had gotten carried away. Terasaki-san was trying his best to protect us and I...

"Sorry." I said when we began walking.

He glanced at me but said nothing more.