32. Some time apart will do

I was intrigued by what my manager said, I contemplated asking her about Rachel as I got the sense that she knew more than she was letting on, why else would she call her a witch, but I decided to not overstep. The silence in the room was too loud, then she looked at me, "Thandie, I don't mean to interfere in your personal life, but if you are serious about this thing of yours with Walter, you need to be prepared becau-"

"I know I know, Walter is not a good guy, he can't commit blah blah, I have heard it all...and I promise to be careful", I was starting to get annoyed at hearing people warn me about Walter, it also began to make me feel guilty for liking him, but my manager shocked me by her response, "What?!, no, that is not what I wanted to say...wait people think Waler is not a good guy?!? What kind of reputation has this boy built for himself?", she sounded surprised by what I said, which shocked me in return, she was the first person to say something nice about him, although it is expected because she is family, it was still something I needed to hear.

Just as I was about to ask about Rachel, she calmly continued, "Anyway, what I wanted to say was that Walter is a good guy, he has just been through some dark stuff, and only he can tell you about it, so be patient. Listen, I am not encouraging you to wait if you don't want to, it depends on you. You have to do what you want and claim what is yours. Whether at work or in your personal life."

I was left flabbergasted by what she said, and it also confirmed my suspicions, she knew what happened between the couple and the reason Walter was still holding on. I decided to hold off on confessing my feelings to Walter, I needed to uncover the truth, "I will keep that in mind ma'am", I replied calmly.

She handed me a file, "Anyway, onto more serious stuff, I need you to attend a 4-week workshop for me in Cape Town, I have to finalize the Caphius deal, and it needs my full attention", she said,

"What?!? Me?!", I didn't expect that she would trust me so much, I had only been in the company for 8 months, and she was already entrusting me with such a big task. It felt like a big milestone in my career. "I will do it!". I also wanted to use this opportunity to get away from Walter and Rachel, maybe by the time I came back, my feelings for him would have changed.

"Oh, Thandie, Rachel Baker stays in Cape Town, do whatever you see fit with that information", she tilted her head back to her computer. My heart started racing as soon as she said that but I also wondered, did she ask me to go to Cape Town to find out about Rachel Baker, "Ma'am, is that the reason you are asking me to go to this business trip?", 

"Oh Thandie, make no mistake, you are good at what you do and this will be the best opportunity for you to grow more, but the reason I am telling you about Rachel, is because you look like you want to know", she clarified while flashing a smile. But she was right, I wanted to know, the time for me to sit around waiting for Walter was up, I needed to make the best decision for myself, whether is fighting Rachel or leaving Walter, but I needed to know the full story.

On my way home, the words my manager said kept echoing in my head, 'Do I wait or do I not', I was conflicted. Growing up, I read too many quotes about self-respect and knowing when to leave, and they were all coming back to haunt me. 'If I stay and fight, I will look like a fool who doesn't love herself, what would my people think? If leave, I will be the champion of knowing my worth', I pondered. I regretted investing myself in those quotes, ignorance sure looked bliss at that moment.

 The trip back home was a long one, but I found comfort in knowing that I was not going back to an empty house, having Sandra around sure made the place feel homey. On most evenings I was welcomed by the smell of home-cooked meals, Sandra even found kitchen utensils I didn't even know I had. The aroma from the kitchen even had some of my neighbors asking to dine with us, I wished she could stay a bit longer. 

When I reached home that evening, I was greeted by the smell of roast chicken that filled the entire apartment. I told Sandra about my plan to confess to Walter so in return, she cooked my favorite meal to celebrate my bravery. However, when I walked into the apartment wearing a defeated look, she instantly rushed to hug me, "Did you get rejected?", I sighed and said, "No, I didn't confess,"

"Did you chicken out? Do you want me to roast you?", she rolled laughing and said, "Do you get it? Roast you because I made roast chick-, forget it?", she could sense the foul mood I was in and I appreciated her trying to make me laugh, and when that failed, she handed me a glass of wine, I downed it like water, and she poured a second one, "What happened?", she asked, 

"Rachel Baker came to the office to basically declare that I don't mean anything to Walter, and guess what? Those flowers Walter gave me as an apology, they are her favorite flowers and she stopped by to let me know that as well", wine sure had a way of simplifying things. 

It became clearer at that moment that the flowers were the reason for my foul mood! 'How dare he give me her favorite flowers? Was she perhaps the one who picked them? why didn't he just buy sunflowers?', the more I thought about it, the angrier I became, as if seeing her in the office every day was not enough, now I had to think about the dumb flowers. I downed the third glass. Sandra was reliable, she just kept filling my glass.

The whole flower ordeal made me realize that I indeed needed some time away from Walter and fighting for him was not an option. However, at that moment he sent a text:

"Come outside...I want to talk to you"