21. Don't otherthink it

"Mr Sek-", 

"Don't you think it's time you start addressing me by name like you did last night?", Walter said reminding me with a smile

My face turned red and I tried to bury myself in his chest, 'How can he bring up something like that at this moment'..."F-fine", I said with my face hiding in his chest.

"Okay enough hugging, let's eat, I have to leave early tonight, which is unfortunate...but...I can stay if you ask me to", He gently let go of me and made his way to the couch

I took a moment to think about it, although I wanted him to stay, there were a lot of things to factor in, 'If I ask him to stay, what would that mean for us? Will I not appear obsessed?'.

"Unfortunately I can't do that Mr. Sek...Walter,", I made my way to the space next to him. That moment took me back to the memory of the first night we spent together...

He suddenly had a sad look, "I hope this won't end here, even if we do not do anything, but can we be like this even when we go back home...have dinner together sometimes, or lunch or coffee, or hug?"

"Walter...I did say that I am not in a good space to be someone's girlfriend at this moment, I have a lot of things to deal with, and I..."

Walter took both my hands and began to sweeten me over,

"Look, I am not saying let's be serious...I can wait for you. I understand your situation, but I enjoy your company and I would like to be around you some more. I really like being around u, and I am extremely completely attracted to you...and after last night, I think I might be developing an addiction as well, and you are the drug", he held my face with his right hand and gazed into my eyes, "Please Ms Thandie.."

To tell the truth, I also did enjoy his company, and a part of me wanted to see how this would pan out, but there was a lot to think about. Although Walter said it was a not relationship, it did feel like it would be a lot more like a relationship, and I could not handle another failure, the expectations, and disappointment.

"I hear you Walter, but can you give me some time to think about it.."

"Let me put it differently, let's go with the flow and see where this takes us, no rush...", hearing him say that triggered me, I took back my hands and turned my face in the opposite direction because I could feel myself becoming emotional.

"Walter, I am not a "go with the flow" person, flows are unpredictable, people are unpredictable...feelings are unpredictable and the thing about flows is there is no end ....we will keep flow until when? Where are we flowing to?... Please give me some time to think about this" 

Walter agreed to give me time to think about what he said, after we finished eating he went back to his room. I didn't sleep a wink thinking about what he said, 'Was I perhaps overthinking it?'

The next day it was time to pack up and leave, I was looking forward to my place, my bed, and my cooking. Don't get me wrong, the safari lodge was amazing but it didnt feel like home. I received a text early in the morning informing me that transport would leave around 10:00, so I decided to take my sweet time getting ready, only to find out that I was an hour late. When I got to the pickup spot I found Walter leaning on his car with his sunglasses on, he looked very refreshing in his all-black attire and white Snickers but I was too confused to even take it all in,

"Walter, what's going on? Where is everyone?"

He took off his glasses and hurried to grab my suitcase

"They all left and you will be traveling with me?"

"Was I late?"

"No, I gave you the wrong time"

"Why?"

"I told you, I am addicted to you", he opened the door to the passenger seat for me, "And I want you all to myself", he said

There goes my heart pounding again, I got in the car, fastened my seatbelt, and looked straight ahead. He stared at me for a while, I could feel his gaze on me, waiting for me to turn and look at him, 'but not today sucker!', I thought 

"Drive Walter...", I awkwardly said with a chuckle, still refusing to look at him,

"No...look at me first", he said. I impulsively turned to him still smitten, "Why? Is something wrong?", He gave me a naughty smile at said,

"Because I want to kiss you"