HANA

Chaesoo did not want to go visit his mother's wedding. No matter how much he loves her, he just does not want to. The litany of reasons are: One, his future stepfather, Christopher Andreyevs, seem odd for some reason. If anything, that is kind of the vibe the Andreyevs have. Two, Chaeyoung, his mom, got engaged with him after four months of dating! Third, he lives in Toronto and the flight going to England is not cheap! Fourth, for someone like them who owns a common house, living with basically successful businessmen in a big mansion is too much for Chaesoo.

"I can't believe she didn't listen to me when I didn't want her to be with that damned Christopher. Argh! Why can't see understand that it is not love when you just dated the guy for literally four months!" Chaesoo kept on ranting and venting out his anger on his clothes as he packed them.

He might be angry but the way his clothes were settled inside the bag, they were pretty neat. He fumed all the way to the bathroom and washed his face. He saw his sad, tired eyes, wanting to get some rest.

He subbed his nape and sighed. "I've been angry at this for who knows how long..." He headed out to the kitchen and drank a glass of water. The angel image of him on his right shoulder started talking, "Chaesoo, you are going to meet your mom and you better now ruin this for her." The devil hissed. "Come on Chaesoo, you worked yourself so hard just to give your our dear Chaeyoung a good life. You deserve to get angry. Object at the wedding."

The angel Chaesoo slapped the devil Chaesoo. "Are you crazy? You will seem some kind of freak when you do. Just support her. You love mom so much and if this gives her happiness then why not?"

The devil shrugged. "Sure, and let Christopher beat her up like our last deadbeat dad, right?"

Chaesoo felt so conflicted. The devil in charge of his evil thoughts were right. "What if he will just be another abusive person and mom is just going to keep hurting then? I will never forgive myself if that would happen."

He looked at his bags. "Can I just stop being such an anxiety-driven freak and just wait until shit happens? One of these days, I should go see a therapist." The wedding is in two weeks and his flight to England leaves in five hours.

He sat on the couch and drowned in his own thoughts. His mother is an immigrant and somehow her naïve self ended up with a useless, abusive, and sad excuse of a father. He has not seen him for 13 years. I also plans not to see him, ever.

Living the life with a violent father gave him all sorts of nightmares. Now, he sleeps with shears underneath his pillow, has the police on speed dial, and has an emergency stash of money, clothes, and food.

The funniest thing about that life is he forgot how he looks like now. All images of him in his head are blurry. The actions, words, and surroundings were very clear. After escaping that life, both Chaesoo and Chaeyoung had the chance to flee the country and visit Korea where his relatives are. They stayed there for a good five years then deciding to permanently settle at Toronto.

Chaesoo always wanted happiness for his mother even when it means disregarding his own. He went to the airport, boarded his plane after a while, decided to just suck it up, and just try to smile it all away.

"I hate this life."