The Queen's Dilemna

The Procession outside the Palace

Ga ram, Myung Jin and Master Mun Jeon eagerly followed the procession as the carriages filed past them, one after the other, each carried by men dressed in splendid royal uniforms. They followed a route that extended for half a day, departing from the Palace, bearing with them the royal edict gyomyeong, (교명, 敎命), the royal investiture book chaekmun (책문, 冊文), the royal seal boin (보인, 寶印), and the formal robe myeongbok (명복, 命服), before they would go back to the Palace to Jay Yi, where she would be receiving them herself. 

It was the Cheokbi ceremony of Min Jay Yi, proclaiming her the Queen of Josean. 

"I have not seen her for so long!" Ga ram said forlornly.

"Eesh! It has been less than a month!" 

"Twenty-nine days," Ga ram corrected Myung Jin. "And it is still fifteen more days before the Chinyeong. I hope Aasshi is doing all right."

"I hope so, too," Master Mun Jeon quipped beside them.

"Why will she not be all right? She is in the Palace, eating the best food, having the best tools for investigation at her disposal, and most importantly, she is with His Majesty!" Someone jostled Myung Jin from behind, and he turned to glare at them.

"If you think that would be enough for Min Jay Yi, you are in for a rude shock," Mun Jeon said dryly.

"You cannot call her by name anymore!" Ga ram chided Mun Jeon and immediately lowered her eyes, "Forgive me, I didn't mean to be rude, Master Mun." Mun Jeon rolled his eyes. Ga ram had become famous for her reprimands. "It's Her Royal Highness the Queen from now on," She continued happily, almost shouting over the din of noise the excitement around them was generating as people went on their tiptoes to get a better glimpse of the grand procession. "His Majesty will keep her happy, I am sure." Ga ram sighed wistfully, a feeling of nostalgia filling her, "I had always thought I would go with Aashi whenever she married. Now, I don't even know if I will see her."

"Did His Majesty not promise he will get Lady Min - I mean Her Royal Highness - for our wedding?" Myung Jin said, giving Ga-ram a shy side glance and nudging her with a shoulder, giving her his wide grin. 

Ga-ram covered her face with her hands, "You must stop this!" She admonished Myung Jin coyly. 

Mun Jeon ignored them. He had gotten used to the sugary overdose of their mooning over each other.

Their eyes followed the procession until it disappeared, a feeling of something beautiful washing over them.

 Joy. 

 The Eastern Palace (Changdeokgung)

Hwan was trying to think of a word that would describe the overwhelming feeling he was experiencing. He felt complete, a King who would finally have his Queen, and Hwan would have his Jay Yi beside him. He looked out his chamber window, the swaying pines sparkling golden and green. The carriages must have reached the detached Palace by now. 

The last eight days with Jay Yi had been a mixed bag of emotions. 

His mind went back to the day nine days ago when he had found her sleeping in the library. Unable to resist, he kissed her. Jay Yi gripped Hwan's shoulders for a brief moment as she helplessly responded to him but then stiffened her hands, her palm forcing his shoulders away from her, as she turned her face down, breaking contact.

Hwan ran a thumb down her cheek gently and briskly stood up. 

Clasping her hand, he pulled her behind him. 

Moments later, they crossed the wooden beams of the room downstairs that she had fled in anger three days ago and into the washroom. The quilt was still there on the table, neatly folded. Hwan expertly put in the combination blocks that opened the little door leading outside.

"Where are we going, Your Majesty?"

"I have to show you something."

"How did you get into the library?"

A mysterious smile was his only reply as he asked her to lead the way.

Curious, she had stepped into what she expected would be steps leading up to a narrow stone pathway covered by tall bushes that led them to a secret, unused gate they used to climb over to scale the Palace. 

Instead, her surprised eyes met a tunnel. Double the Hwan's height and wide enough to comfortably fit four to five people horizontally, it was at the end of half a dozen stairs, and lighted by scones at uniform intervals, the passageway disappeared into a corner. 

"When did you get this constructed?" Jay Yi had asked excitedly.

"I started the work almost immediately after coming back from Gaeseong."

A child-like glee bubbled out of her mouth. "I have never been inside a secret passage!" She gushed excitedly as she ran her fingers along the wall, tracing the stones that formed the outer wall. Hwan walked behind her, an indulgent expression softening his eyes. He could feel his heart flood with love for this extraordinary woman whose zest for life was limitless. 

"Is this underground?"

Hwan nodded his affirmation. 

About ten minutes later, they walked into what looked like a barn, a facade for another passageway that finally led to a dilapidated structure. Jay Yi was so excited that she was half running, half jumping as she happily jaunted alongside Hwan, eager to discover where this would lead them.

When they came upon the open courtyard inside the large, neglected building, her mouth fell open. 

Hwan's bodyguards were amid various types of exercises and training. No sooner they spied them the men formed a quick line and greeted both of them. 

"I would like you to come and train here after the ceremonies are over. Choose about ten women who you can trust to train with you. I want you to form your unit, just like mine."

Jay Yi looked at him, her eyes filled with happiness and gratefulness, making it impossible for her vocal cords to form a sound.

As they made their way back, Jay Yi was quieter. 

He had been so excited to show Jay Yi all of it that he didn't notice her thoughtful expression.

"You had orchestrated the entire thing yesterday, did you not, Your Majesty?"

"Are you mad?" 

She shook her head. "I am not, though it gave you undue advantage over me," she said cheekily.

"It was fairly earned," Hwan countered playfully.

They turned into the final stretch leading to the library. Hwan pressed a scone to his right and drew two slats apart to reveal a narrow doorway. "The passageway is a maze of mystery!" Jay Yi exclaimed.

Hwan chuckled. "If you press the scone opposite to this one, it slides open a section of the wall that leads outside. It opens into a small structure that resembles part of the library building. If you want to step out and not want to have the entire retinue trail you, you can come out this way. Just remember to go back up through this door."

"It would be nice to take walk breaks! You have thought of everything, Your Majesty!" Her exuberance spilled over. 

"It also leads to a secret passage leading to the outside of the Palace. It's always guarded by one of our elite troopers."

To his delight, Jay Yi looked suitably impressed.

 Hwan moved some block pieces on the door, and it clicked open. "The combination is the month and the day we first met." 

"The hunting ground?" Her mouth made a surprised O.

"Yes," Hwan smoothed a wayward whorl of hair from her forehead as she smiled at him radiantly. 

The door led to a flight of stairs going up, widening into a landing. Hwan pried open a rectangular slab on the roof, pulling it down. Slats of wood were attached to the grooves of the roof door, creating a series of steps that disappeared into a cavern beyond the opening. They climbed up, and Jay Yi pulled the rope attached to the edge of the roof door, closing it. They ended up in a small alcove filled with scrolls and books. It looked like an annexure of the library, with floor cushions and a desk on one side. 

Hwan beckoned her. He slid aside a circular plate. Jay Yi went closer. Placing an eye on the small hole she peeked in. She could see the entire library.

"This is the way you come in?"

Hwan laughed. "Do you think we could have walked in from the front door now? The door downstairs is one way, but this goes both in and out. I can hardly walk through the front entrance anymore to make myself scarce. Half the Palace is watching my every move all the time."

"Ah!"

He had closed in on her, wanting to take her in his arms, and she had backed away. "I must leave now, Your Majesty."

She had met his conditions of meeting him without fail every day. In her walks, in the library. She had visibly opened up after their sparring session in the arena and was a lot less pensive outside. She laughed, spoke, and even teased him sometimes. But she had grown reticent inside when alone with him, especially resistant to any physical intimacy.

He quelled the feeling of unease. Hwan had wronged her greatly, and she needed time, and he respected that.

Even if that meant not meeting her alone for a while. He had all the time in the world to give her. 

The word Hwan sought to describe the overwhelming feeling he was experiencing suddenly came to him.

 Elation. 

The Detached Palace

Intricately woven with golden threads, the red, blue and black jeokui pressed heavily on her shoulders. Her hair had been tied up, elaborately swept into small coiffures spread over her head, with each elegant coif decorated with a gold accessory, and the rest was rolled up at the nape of her neck, anchored by a mammoth phoenix-shaped binyeo, finally doing away with the braid that had been the signature of her youth she was leaving behind and, into the womanhood she was now entering. 

Her back and knees ached with the endless bowings that accompanied the numerous ceremonies since morning, and the main ceremony had not even started yet. 

Jay Yi longed for Hwan's presence, wishing he could be by her side, holding her hand just as he had in the Shaman's temple, providing reassurance that everything would be alright.

She missed Ga ram too, longing to have her faithful, lifelong friend chattering beside her. She wondered if Ga ram and Myung Jin had followed the procession.

Her mind felt numb. She followed all directions serenely, obediently, not showing any of the turmoil that had her in its grip, as if she were a puppet being pulled by invisible strings. Jay Yi watched the carriages enter, the grandeur of the procession blindingly beautiful. As the ritual of proclaiming her the Wang-bi of the Kingdom of Joseon started, Jay felt a disquieting sensation take hold of her. 

Trepidation.

 The library: 

The sun had followed her inside, lighting up the room in all its papery splendour. Resting the quill on its stand, Jay Yi stood up and stretched. She had spent three straight hours translating the Ŏbu sa and barely made a dent. 

She had instructed all her maids to stay away today, planning to spend the rest of the day in the library. 

Ever since her coronation the day before, there had been a slight shift in how everyone treated her. Earlier, Court Lady Kim would either have objected or placed a sentinel outside the door. Today, Jay Yi checked twice, and there was no one. Even her request to furnish her meals and snacks ahead of time had been adhered to. 

Being a Queen had its perks, she supposed.

It was her last free day, without any ceremonial or routine demands on her time, before the marriage fourteen days later. She wondered what Hwan was doing. 

Curiously, while he had met her every day on her walks, sometimes he would fall by her side, and they would take a round of a garden or the lake; however, he had stopped his evening visits for the last few days. Five days ago, she had found two case files on her table downstairs with a note:

 Urgent work keeps me away, but I hope these two interesting cases will help you occupy your time. 

Even though she missed him, not meeting him did not seem such a bad idea. A weight from her shoulder had evaporated, making her feel contrite the next second in guilt. She knew she had been skittish around him, trying to avoid being alone with him without being obvious, and even if they were, going out of her way to avoid any sort of physical intimacy, and it was taking a toll on her. 

 Oh, Your Majesty, why do you have to be so irresistible! Jay Yi had thought wryly.

They were cases that had already been solved but contained some interesting new facts that helped her solidify some existing investigating techniques.

She had waited for him the following days, but he had stayed away. She wondered if he was doing it on purpose. She brought it up during their walks, and he had playfully denied it. 

"If I have the opportunity, even elephants would not hold me back," He had teased.

She half expected to see him today. Instead, she had found another note:

 I wish I could see your smile, My Queen. Are you all right? You must be tired after the long day yesterday. Rest up. I will see you tomorrow and visit a garden you have never seen. 

The rush of acute disappointment at his absence, to her dismay, was followed by a strange relief. 

 What was happening to her? 

A strange restlessness stirred within her heart.

Needing to clear her mind of the jumbled thoughts, Jay Yi planked open the door to their room downstairs. She was alone, away from all disturbances. It was an excellent day to do the cleaning she had wanted to do ever since that fateful day she had walked out on Hwan in fury and despair. 

A despair that clung to her like a shadow no matter how much she tried to shake it off.

Unfortunately, her burned gold and deep red hanbok would not receive the dust and the grime kindly. She searched for her Eunuch dress again. This time, she double layered it with a white tunic beneath it that was typically reserved for winter wear. 

Satisfied, she went to work. 

The large, dragon-shaped bineyo with jade stone for eyes blew fire at him as Hwan turned it around in his palm. He had been yearning to give it to Jay Yi for so long. 

Closing the box it nestled in, Hwan stepped out of the small, darker annexure of the library, expecting Jay Yi at her settee. A quick look told Hwan the chamber was empty. 

The room downstairs shone like a polished gem. Jay Yi had obviously been putting her magic into it. But there was no sign of her in their secret lair. 

Perplexed, he looked around. It was her day off, and he knew she had come in early. The ink on her quill on the table upstairs had barely dried. The copy of Ŏbu sa still lay open on the table she had been working on.

Was she in the washroom? There was a small bowl of water and a rubbing cloth still lying on the floor. 

He knocked on the washroom door. "Jay Yi?"

Did she go out for a walk? The main door was locked from inside, so did she use the passageway? Hwan could not quell a thought of worry etching his mind.

"Jay Yi? Are you inside? I am coming in," Hwan knocked again, gingerly opening the door, wanting to ensure he did not intrude upon her privacy. The small crack revealed nothing. He pulled it further, his eyes moving across to the far end of the room.

It was empty. 

Jay Yi had just finished cleaning a small section of the floor when she heard the sound. An extremely faint one, barely making any impression, but her sensitive ears picked it up as if it were a drumroll. 

Looking down at her eunuch uniform, she panicked. She did not want Hwan to see her like this. She didn't want to meet Hwan today. There was too much chaos in her mind, the events from that day not long ago still too raw.

She leapt and darted into the washroom, barely making it before she heard Hwan slide open the door at the top of the stairs leading down to the chamber. 

She quickly picked up her silk hanbok and jeogori and shoved them under the table, pushing the fabrics as far inside as possible. Frantic, she looked around and dove behind the massive water drum, gathering the fabric of her tunic and bunching them close around her, squeezing herself into as tiny a ball as she could, almost plastering herself in the angled nook the drum created where it met the wall.

"Jay Yi?" She could hear the concern in his voice.

"Jay Yi? Are you inside? I am coming in," Hwan knocked again. She could hear the door slowly slide open, a part of it retreating into the wall. Jay Yi clenched her eyes tightly shut, not breathing, her fist in her mouth to prevent any noise from leaking. 

After a brief moment, the door rolled closed, the smooth abrasion of wood against wood barely making any sound. Jay Yi still did not dare breathe. She heard his footsteps go up the stairs and the soft noise of another door open and close.

She sucked in all the air she could in one big gulp. Slowly, she stood up and leaned against the washbasin table. Absent-mindedly, straightening the bun at the nape of her neck, she threw a look at the mirror. For a moment, her hand paused on the hairpin. Yesterday, she had crossed over from her old, predictable world into a new, unpredictable one. Hwan had not yet seen her with her hair rolled up. 

 Stupid! Jay Yi could not believe she hid, of all people, from Hwan.

She covered her face with her hands, a small tear squeezing from the corner of her eye. She wanted to run after him and get him back, ask for forgiveness for doing something this juvenile. 

But her feet would not move.

At this rate, she would lose her mind. She did not know what she wanted anymore. She felt unmoored, and every day, it felt like she laboured to find solid ground under her feet. 

Hwan was the cause. He was also the cure.

This could not go on. Jay Yi had to go to him. Hopefully, he had not left the upper chamber of the library yet. Springing around, she grabbed her clothes from underneath the table. She almost tore off the eunuch tunic, cramming herself in the hanbok. She laid the hastily folded eunuch tunic on the low table, making a mental note to return it to the shelf at a later time. 

She slid open the door, and all the air left her body in a painful woosh. 

Hwan was lounging against a pillar across the washroom, deadly still, eyes black as charcoal as he looked straight at her, his facial muscles carved out of the same stone of the beam his shoulder was resting on.