A Man And His Woman

How dare he? That bastard!

Hwan seethed as he walked to where he was sure Jay Yi was hiding. If he knew her, she had not gone anywhere.

Women like her were a fair game?

What kind of despicable language was that? Hwan thought with distaste. Who did Mun Jeon believe he was?

He was a man who had put his own life at risk because he thought Jay Yi was in danger - a small, treacherous voice inside Hwan spoke up.

Hwan swallowed. Despite not having the best combat skills, Mun Jeon had taken on two unknown assailants at the risk of his own life, perhaps to give time to Jay Yi to get away.

And Jay Yi had returned the favour, flying in to take on two people twice her size. 

When and why did she develop such affection for Mun Jeon?

Try as he might, Hwan could not get rid of the bitter taste it left in his mouth.

Hwan had never seen Jay Yi behave with such a carefree attitude with anyone - not Myung Jin and definitely not with Sargent Sung On, except - with Hwan himself. As a Eunuch, she had been so scrupulously, so doggedly Eunuch-like, approached her work with such single-minded devotion like a field general would to his war duties, that had he not known her true identity, Hwan would have never figured out she was a woman. Those days, at times, Hwan had wondered if Jay Yi even saw him as a man. While he would jump and blush, get disturbingly, improperly affected by her proximity, she would go around her business of serving him as his Eunuch like he was a wooden doll rather than a living, breathing man. It was when she was strictly not being his Eunuch that she would let some of that inhibition down. Her ungendered act had been so perfect that even when she embraced him at Paju, he had swallowed it as an impulse of her terror-filled mind rather than a woman terrified of losing her man. 

Her man. He, Hwan, was her man. Was he not?

Tonight, her delight at seeing him had been palpable. Her hesitant sweetness in his arms brought a surge of protectiveness he could kill for. 

Yet he could not discount her unexplained affection for Mun Jeon that he had witnessed throughout this wretched evening.

Was Hwan getting blurred in her mind? Was Jay Yi, perhaps, unconsciously making way for Mun Jeon to replace Hwan in her heart?

I don't have an answer for you, Jay Yi...

Then don't try to give one!

How long would she wait for his answer? 

Besides disappearing from her life without a word for seven months, what assurance did you give so she would wait for you, Yi Hwan? That treacherous voice would not go away. 

Joseon or not, she was too beautiful, passionate, brilliant, and unique not to be courted by men, even those who otherwise would follow strict Joseon edicts, willing to give far more than he could ever give her.

Hwan felt a bead of perspiration trickle down his temple. And from how it seemed to him, Jay Yi did not discourage it.

Would her love for him fade away? 

Dread clouded his rational thought. 

How long before he would lose Jay Yi to Mun Jeon?

He would never allow it. He could not allow it. How far was he willing to go to ensure Jay Yi never had a reason to look at another man? Hwan increased his pace. 

It turned out he could go quite far. 

That fool Mun Jeon!

 Her heart still hammered from the surreal meeting with Hwan, which felt like an illusion that would vaporise as soon as she opened her eyes. Hwan's scent, a scintillating amalgamation of musk and spice peppered with gardenia fragrance, overwhelmed her starving senses. The feel of his bunched-up muscles lingered tantalisingly, his body hard and pulsing against her soft and jittery one. Jay Yi wrapped her hands around herself. The thrill of his touch coursed through her like an intoxicating wine. She had barely been able to make it far enough before her wobbly legs had given away. Dragging herself to a corner as soon as she was safely out of their sight, she forced herself to go still. 

Jay Yi had stepped into the alley to retrieve her money bag when she remembered the poor hat she had thrown in a fit while fighting with the thieves. To her dismay, she found the hat had lost shape, with one string missing. She looked around to see if she could dispose of it when a movement caught her eye. She had recognised Mun Jeon by his peach tunic that almost looked white in the moonlight and had seen two dark figures who she thought were accosting him. 

She had launched herself at them without giving it another thought. 

 Straight into Hwan's arms. 

 She covered her flaming face with her hands.

 She knew she was in trouble for getting into a tussle with who could have been a dangerous assailant. Did he also see her tackling the other two earlier?

Jay Yi bit her lip in dismay. While his delight at seeing her had been undiluted, his subsequent ire, which had only increased as their conversation with Mun Jeon unfolded, had not missed her attention. 

How was he here? It was the night the Procession had ended; he should have been in the Palace. Yet, here he was, probably arguing with a man he had taken umbrage to. 

She peeped to see if he was still there. He was, and so was that fool Mun Jeon. What were they talking about? She had made it clear none of them were of any danger to the other!

Why, of all nights, did Mun Jeon have to follow her tonight? 

She kicked the dust in frustration. 

She reflected on Hwan's attire, worn mainly by peasants and other working gentry. She had never seen him dressed like that. A flash of memory struck her - the men next to their table at the Inn, two of them had been wearing clothes very similar to Hwan.

Had her intuition been correct? Her hand flew to her mouth. If so, he must have been privy to all their conversations, loud and chatty that they were. 

A prickling thought at the back of her mind surged forth - why did her assailants not try to hit her back? They, too, were dressed identically to Hwan and Tae Kang.

Those thugs who attacked you were his lackeys. 

Only, they had not attacked her at all! She groaned. She had injured Hwan's bodyguards! They possibly came after her to ensure she was not a threat. But why the entire 'give me your moneybag' routine? They could have just left. Did they deliberately try to come across as thieves to confuse her so she would not suspect Hwan was nearby? Did they know who she was? How could they? 

She shook her head in confusion. 

Jay Yi straightened, contemplating if she should step out and go back to him. She knew Hwan was upset with her, but she hoped he would not stay angry at her for long. Of all nights, why did she have to get into scuffles tonight?

As if on a perfect cue, she heard the sounds of unmistakable footsteps - the long strides, with broad shoulders that swayed gracefully when he walked, as if he owned the ground he walked on. 

"You can come out now," Hwan's royal voice rang out. 

Jay stepped out warily, her legs back to being the quivery mush she had been trying to tame. 

She gave him a graceful bow and her heartfelt smile, "Your Majesty, I cannot tell you how happy I am to see you." She had walked miles for him today. He would never know how much this meant to her.

She looked into Hwan's stormy eyes. They softened for a fleeting moment, but then he looked away, his mouth compressed in a grim line.

"Your Majesty?" Worried at his mood, she looked at Tae Kang, who looked miserable. He shook his head imperceptibly, confirming her fears: Hwan was beyond furious. 

"I-I'll stand guard there," gesturing to a vague area, Tae Kang quickly retreated at the speed of a shooting star, out of sight.

"Have you made it a habit to stay out so late at night?" Hwan asked icily.

Jay Yi bent her head. "I never go out alone after dark, Your Majesty; it's just that Ga-ram drank too much and passed out." Jay Yi took a quick peek at him. "But you must already know that. You were at the Inn, were you not?"

Hwan looked back at her without blinking. 

"Are you angry, Your Majesty?" She asked hesitantly, though she already knew the answer, trying to figure out how to appease his ire. He was always angry when she put herself in danger, and she did it twice tonight. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"Do you think I have reasons to be angry, Jay Yi?" Hwan's voice had a suppressed fury that scared her. 

"I am sorry that I worried you. I didn't think..."

A drift of masculine voices interrupted them. Jay Yi exhaled in dismay. Night patrol. 

Hwan swiftly dragged her by the sleeve into the dark alley she had just emerged from.

Jay Yi sighed in relief. And then giggled. She had taught Hwan well. 

"What is so funny?"

"It reminded me of that walk a long time ago.....Thank you, Your Majesty! It can get a little awkward because," she gestured at her disguise, she didn't have identity papers to show for, " I don't -"

" I did not do it for you." Hwan cut in. "They will see me looking like a 'back alley thief', you without a hat, assume the worst and ask for papers. I have had enough of being quizzed for one night," Hwan said tersely.

Hwan had his face averted, a muscle furiously working in his jaw. Jay Yi was sure he had been as happy at seeing her as she had been earlier, but glimpses of anger when Mun Jeon confronted him seemed to have grown out of proportion. Something was amiss.

"Your Majesty, is something bothering you?"

Hwan turned to her. "To answer your earlier question, yes, I was at the Inn, barely two feet from you. You might have noticed if you were not busy rubbing shoulders with strange men." The anger in Hwan's voice was unmistakable. 

"I did look for you..."

"Was it me you were looking for? I thought you were seeking the man whose company you enjoy so much." Hwan's face was hard as stone, and he looked away as if he could not bear looking at her.

"That's not true! If I did not, how would I know you were at the Inn..."

"Seeing me here, I can't put it past your deduction ability to assume I was at the Inn."

"If you were there, you would know it was you I was mostly talking about!" 

"Don't they say the best way for a woman to make a man take notice of her is to appreciate another man?" Hwan turned to face her, and the bleakness in his eyes cut to her core.

"What....why are you saying things like this?"

"You promised me you would not put yourself in danger, but your promises are empty words, are they not?" Hwan cut in.

"I know I made you angry. I am sorry I flew into a situation that could have been dangerous. Please forgive me. I will try my best to refrain from it in future." Jay Yi said placatingly.

"You did not just put yourself in any danger. You did it for that man," Hwan said scathingly. "Tell me, how close are you with him that you would put your life on the line for him?" 

Stung, Jay Yi could feel her decibels rising, "I would have done that for anyone." 

Hwan scoffed. "You would, would you not? And here I thought I was the only fool you would do that for!"

"It's not the same, and you know that. Master Mun Jeon is a friend I know and respect, and I could not stand by and watch him getting hurt!"

"A friend? It's been how long? Seven months? And you already have a 'friend' you have given liberty to sit shoulder to shoulder with you, to hold your hand, and someone for whom you would put yourself in danger?"

She struggled, trying to make sense of what Hwan was getting at. He was angry that Mun Jeon sat beside her at the Inn and that she came to his aid. But he had always known she was not a skittish Joseon maiden. What made Hwan act like this? It didn't add up.

" You have it all wrong, Your Majesty. It is not how it seemed. Master Mun Jeon is my..."

"It isn't?" Hwan interjected. "So, someone you barely met a few months ago pretending to be a man already knows you are a woman and is allowed to behave so inappropriately with you?" Hwan said contemptuously. 

"How was he inappropriate? And how did you know when I met him? Please listen to me, I know him -"

Hwan scoffed in reply without letting her finish. "I watched you and him for the entire evening at the Inn. He put himself in danger for you, and you jumped in to save his life. You want to deny everything I witnessed?"

Jay Yi was at the end of her patience. Talking to Hwan when he was in one of these moods was futile, as she had learned the hard way as his once beloved Eunuch.

"I am not denying anything. Your Majesty, we have met after so long. I don't want us to fight. You are not even letting me speak. This is not a good time to speak on this anymore. It has been one of the happiest days of my life, and I do not want to spoil it. Let me know when you are ready to listen. Now, if you will excuse me, I will go first. It's late."

She bowed and turned to leave.

Only to be hauled back unceremoniously as Hwan's hands closed on her shoulders and he whirled her around.

"No, you don't!" He grated.

He pushed her against the wall, closing her exit with his body.

"Happiest day?" Hwan drawled. "Do you like to play this game? String someone along until they go raving mad?"

"Your Majesty! Please!" Jay Yi looked up at his molten eyes, his rage making him irrational. "You are too angry and are overreacting!"

"Overreacting? I am overreacting? When it is you who feels no hesitation at being so..friendly with another man..." Hwan's voice came out strangely shaky and breathless. 

"Please, Your Majesty..." 

"Please what, Jay Yi," Hwan's voice dipped dangerously. 

"Let's not fight," she said pleadingly. 

"I can't fight any more either...." he whispered, tortured. 

Hwan had both hands on the wall, right above each side of her head, breathing hard. He didn't touch her, but she felt her entire body was on fire. Flatenning one of his forearms lengthwise along the wall, he leaned closer, his face inches away. But there was enough gap between them that she realised she could slide and leave if she wanted. 

As if mirroring her thoughts, Hwan asked huskily, "Do you want to leave Jay Yi? I won't stop you." 

Like a moth to a flame, her eyes drew to his lips. All thoughts vanished from her mind, leaving behind an aching mess of desire. As if in a trance, she unconsciously leaned closer. She didn't know who moved more, but their mouth meshed. Their pent-up longing broke free from restraints as they devoured each other like a starving beast feasting on a kill. 

There was no gentleness in the kiss, neither expected nor given. Hwan was almost punishing in exploring her mouth, reaching out, biting, drawing her in. It only made Jay Yi yearn for more as she shyly but surely tried to match his passion. 

His hands still planted firmly on the wall, Hwan pulled himself closer to her body as he went deeper into her mouth, even though it didn't seem possible he could. Jay Yi's hands hung by her side, clutching her tunic. She tilted her head and went on her tiptoe to better reach him.

"Do you like this, Jay Yi?" Hwan's voice was muffled against her cheek.

Jay Yi shivered. 

She strained her neck, the overheated flesh of her back digging into the cold surface of the wall as his head dipped, his straw hat shoved to a side. Her pulse skittered. 

"Why were you crying today, Jay Yi? Did I make you so lonely that you could no longer wait for me?" Hwan's voice cracked.

Hwan's words made no sense through the fog that shrouded her mind. Something was wrong. This whole conversation felt....wrong. Confused, she raised her hand to push him away, but he was like a solid wall, refusing to budge.

"How could you let that man come so close to you?" Hwan planted small, feather-light kisses on her cheeks, dragging his lips down her throat. He pulled the tunic's hem around her neck to emblazon her delicate collarbone with his lips.

Jay Yi knew she must stop him, so she pushed at him again, but her hands were liquid against his rock-solid chest, melting into him as she registered his heart's thundering vibrations under her ravenous palms.

His hand unfisted the hem of her tunic and travelled down, the shock of sensation pushing Jay Yi back further into the wall while she strained against him at the same time.

Alarm bells were ringing in her head, but her wretched mind refused to process anything other than the melted lava of sensations Hwan ignited. 

Hwan let out a derisive laugh against her throat and raised his head to look at her.

"If you want a man to ease your loneliness, let me be that man for you. I will fill your thoughts. Tonight. Every night." Hwan removed his remaining hand from the wall and wrapped it around her waist. The other one caught her lower back intimately, lifting her against him. Hwan buried his face in her neck. His soft breath sent butterflies fluttering down her body, every nerve ending screaming in awareness.

"I don't understand..." gasping for air, as Hwan tasted the area under her ears, Jay Yi tried to focus on keeping her weightless legs planted on the ground. 

Suddenly, Hwan freed her. He stepped away and seized her hand. She trained her unfocussed eyes on him questioningly. 

"Tonight, I will give you everything you can wish from a man so you never cast a look at that bastard Mun Jeon or anyone else again!" Hwan had a frenzied look in his eyes she had never seen before.

Clutching her hand in an unyielding grip, Hwan dragged her behind him. Disoriented, she stumbled after him. They exited the alley, and Hwan set out toward her villa, with a bewildered Tae Kang falling into pace several feet behind.

Finally, Hwan's words sank in.

Horrified, the realisation hit Jay Yi like a bucket of freezing water on a cold winter night. 

She dug her heel and jerked her hand free. 

Hwan simply stared at her, his hands clenched by his side.

"You...I...you think....." She sputtered in disbelief, her face turning hot and cold. 

"What is wrong? Are you rejecting me? Am I not good enough for you anymore?" Hwan bit out harshly.

She drew her hands across her body protectively, one around her chest, the other clutching her throat. "How could you think that?" 

"Now you decide to be shy? What kind of a fool do you take me for, Jay Yi? But then, am I not the biggest fool after all, seeing how I am here at midnight, out of my Palace, on this dark road like a thief, chasing a woman who seems to be enjoying using her charms elsewhere?" He was ruthless in his humiliation of her.

Mortification and shame rushed through Jay Yi, crippling her soul. 

"How dare you?" Her voice shook. Jay Yi didn't care that it was the Monarch she was addressing. She wanted to die.

"You dare ask me? You tell me, how dare a man touch you without your implicit consent? You want to deny that your unrestrained familiarity with that man you have met only a handful of times is not unbecoming of any woman, let alone a noblewoman who has been raised better?" Hwan was a seething coil of bitter fury. 

The molten fervour from minutes ago in Jay Yi's blood turned into ice.

"That bastard thinks he will save you from me and yourself, too! He speaks with you without propriety, talks about you like you belong to him, acts like he knows everything about you, touches you without inhibition....and you want me to believe he has the nerve to do all that without you leading him on?"

"L-leading him..?" Jay Yi felt like someone had poured liquid mercury into her ears.

"If you are so desperate for a man's company, then I shall be neglecting my duty if I don't give you what you so obviously desire." Hwan closed in on her, his body taut with anger and desperation. 

Jay Yi trembled with the power of her rage. 

"He has the nerve because he has known me since I was three years old! He was my Oraboni's best friend." Jay Yi spat as Hwan's mouth gaped open in shock. 

"Wha..." Hwan froze with disbelief.

"He knows so much about me because I have lost count of times he helped Oraboni to get me out of trouble as a child. He had left with a merchant ship four years ago, and I met him by chance at Master Myung Jin's. So yes, it's true! I like spending time and being friends with him! When I am with him, I feel my brother is with me, even if it's in the form of new memories that Master Mun shares with me. But with that, if he feels an obligation towards me, I cannot help it. " Jay Yi's voice broke, and she hated herself for it. 

"Jay Yi...I didn't know...I..." Hwan's voice was filled with agony.

"Is this your answer to me? To put your men after me, spy on me, and think I would be free with my morals? Just because - just because of how I feel about you, you think I am easy?" Jay Yi's fury was in freefall. "That I would - that I would - with someone.... " she choked back the rising bile, shoving her shaking fist in her mouth to bite the feeling of despair that consumed her. 

Hwan had turned ashen. 

"NO! That is not what I thought. Please, believe me, Jay Yi, I didn't think that of you, ever! I..." He caught her fisted hands and tried to draw her closer to him. Jay Yi yanked them free. 

"I never wanted anything from you. Your friendship and respect were enough for me to live my life." Jay Yi felt hysteria bubbling up inside her. "With no family, connection, or political power, I thought I had nothing to offer you. But as it turns out, Your Majesty, the mighty King of Joseon, it is YOU who has had nothing to offer me. Nothing!"

Hwan caught hold of her shoulders desperately, "Jay Yi, listen to me! Please, Jay Yi....I didn't know. Please forgive me. I was blinded by envy." She could hear the panic in his voice, but she felt nothing, only a raw need to lash out. She tried to shake herself free of him.

"Don't touch me."

Hwan flinched. "Please, Jay Yi, I am so, so sorry. I was afraid that you were opening your heart for him...that you might let go of me...I was terrified of losing you...." Hwan took her ice-cold hand in his. "Jay Yi, look at me, please..."

Jay automatically looked up at his beautiful face. A solitary tear had brimmed over from the corner of his tormented eye, and more threatened to follow. Pain and self-loathing made his voice hoarse, yet all she could hear was the harsh sounds of dry desert winds sweeping her heart barren.

 "To lose me, you need to gain me first. What am I to you, Your Majesty?" 

"No! Please...don't say that..."

Tugging at her hand that Hwan clasped onto in a vice grip, Jay Yi sank to her knees and bent her head. 

"You want to bed me tonight, Your Majesty?" Though her voice was barely above a whisper, it reverberated through the silence of the night. "As your subject, I can and will not deny you. But as the woman who once saw you as her man, I hope I never see you again."