Chapter two

Shelly

I can’t breathe. Not again, please, not here. I need to get out of here

Shelllllyyyy' a voice sing sang.

Oh please no. Please, I’m sorry. If anybody is listening, help me

“Shellllyyy”

“Shellllllyy”

“Shelly”

“Shelly, it’s me. It’s Lucy. I’m going to touch you now okay? Just take my hands and listen to my voice. You’re safe”

“Lu… Lucy?”

“Yes darling, it’s me. Just listen to my voice. You’re safe”

“I’m sor…sorry…I didn’t me…mean to freak out…I’m sorry for emba..embarrassing you”

“Hey! You didn’t embarrass me or yourself. Nobody noticed okay? I got to you before anyone noticed”

I took a deep breath, in and out. The familiar scent of the restaurant always helped calm me but there was something else today, something different. I have never smelt this before. As I took longer breaths inhaling that scent, I felt a calm like never before envelope me…

“Shelly?”

“Ye..yes?”

“Can you open your eyes? Look at me please?”

I opened my eyes and glanced around. We were in Lucy’s office. I didn’t want to look at her. It would hurt more if I saw pity in her eyes because without realizing it she had become my family and it hurts that I keep disappointing her.

From the corner of my eyes I saw her shuffling around and then sit in front of me.

“Hey” she called softly “look at me”

I shook my head.

“Shelly? Because I didn’t know how you’ll react I’ve never told you. I love you. You’re not just a friend or roommate to me. You’re my family and I know you’ll probably never see me as such but…”

“Are you crying?” I glanced up in shock

“No… I’m not crying”

“You are. Why are you crying? Wait? You consider me family? But I’m…I’m broken” I couldn’t help it. I am broken and everyone knew it.

“So?”

“So? I…I can I hug you?”

“yes”

I knew she was shocked at my request but she didn’t even make it seem like a big deal. She didn’t make me feel so broken but I was scared. Could I trust her? Could I hug her without freaking out? For the first time in my life, I wanted to try. I was tired of being this way. I wanted to feel normal, so I let go and hugged her as tight as I could.

“Breath Shelly, breath. You’re okay” Lucy soothes as she ran her hands down my back

She was right, I am okay. I felt the years of pain, lack of human contact, and anger Cascade down my cheeks. It felt good to cry. It felt good to be touched. And Lucy? She sat with me through it all.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because it was dark out and for the first time in forever, I didn’t have nightmares.

“Hey, you awake?” Lucy asked from the door

“Yea, thank you, Lucy “

“You’re welcome”

The silence stretched between us like always but this time, comfortable.

“Who was that?” I asked

“Who?” Lucy asked looking confused

“The guy that came in before my…my episode”

Lucy looked confused but for some reason, I felt she was stalling

“Lucy? Who was he?”

“That was Andy” she replied after a while

“Andy? Andy!? As in your brother you never talk about? That Andy?”

“Yes Shelly that Andy”

“You didn’t say he was hu…huge”

She laughed softly “yea he is”

“you know? When you first mentioned him, I pictured a middle-aged man, married with lots of children but he’s not that much older than you. I don’t mean to pry but why don’t you talk about him often?”

She was silent for a while I thought she wouldn’t reply

“We used to be close you know, Andy and I. We played together, laughed together, did everything together. He was my hero. Then one day, he just changed. He became quiet, angry, and bitter. He became scary. When I was younger, I thought I did something wrong, so I’d try to get his attention but he’d snap at me or shout.” She sighed loudly “after a while, I stopped trying. As I got older, I realized he was just a rude jerk and my love turned to anger.” She sighed again “but you know what? I miss him. I miss him so much. Somewhere deep inside, I still feel like the little girl waiting for her big brother to acknowledge her.”

I walked up to her and hugged her. “it's okay”

“Thank you,” she said softly as she pulled away. “We should go home. Tomorrow is another day”. She packed her bag and laughed suddenly

“What’s funny?” I asked even as I smiled back at her.

“I just remembered when I first opened this place. I remember standing here looking outside the window waiting for him”

“Waiting for Andy?”

“Yea, for some reason I thought he’d show up. I waited for a long time till I fell asleep. When I woke up I was so angry that I trashed the place.”

“You what?’ I couldn’t believe it. “You trashed it. Seriously?”

She laughed loudly “ yea I did. I’d never been so angry before. If he didn’t show up when I needed him most why will he show up for a restaurant? That’s when I came up with the name Beta’s. To piss him off”

“Did it work?”

“Nope. He didn’t show up or call. Nothing. Not a word from him. I’ve done other things to get a reaction from him but nothing. It’s almost like I’m too trivial for him to notice.” She shrugged “enough talk about my brother. Let’s go”