chapter 1

°°°°°°°°°°

Its Tuesday, had just finished packing Nkanyiso's lunch into his school bag. It's another day of feeling drained and absolutely out of it. I let out a sigh as I stuff all my personal belongings into my bag including my phone and car keys..

"Nkanyiso. Let's go" I shout enough for him to hear

"1 second" he responds.

I roll my eyes. I don't know who Nkanyiso thinks he is because the way he likes to give orders like a boss I don't know shame. Now I have to wait for him as umzali I expect it to be the other way around... I am already tired of this weekend. Just too tired.

1second turned into 3mins

"Okay I am leaving you. Kanti what's taking so long?!" I surely sound annoyed

I grab my bag and my laptop I begin to walk to the door. I hear footsteps running behind..

"Sorry ma." he says running pass me to the garage

I sigh dropping my shoulders. I follow him to my car and unlock it, I open the back door I put my laptop there and Nkanyiso hopped in. I got in the driver's seat and started the engine then drove away...

Ive been through so much already and it's honestly draining me. I feel like I'm losing myself slowly, I'm becoming more tired day by day. I hide that all from my son I don't want him to see me broken and low, I don't want him to think that mommy can't stand up for herself, defend herself. I want him to know that mommy is strong enough for him and my family...

"Ma, your phone is ringing" he says handing it to me

Who could be calling me early like this, unless I'm late for work.

"Ignore it" I say carelessly

I'll call whoever that was later. I dropped Nkanyiso at his school, kissed our byes then I drove to work...

I entered the building holding onto my laptop and handbag. Anita meets me half way, she's my assistant

"I called you three four times and you didn't answer" She says..

"I didn't have time to. I was driving, why?" I ask her as I walk into an elevator..

Anita follows

"What if it was important?" she asks

I look at her, what does she mean

"Anita you know how i feel about answering calls while driving." I say

"I get it and I don't think you should go to your office right now" she says

"And why should I do that?" I ask looking at her again

She clears her throat looking nervous..

"I'm not sure where this conversation is going but to me it's clearly not getting anywhere" I say

The elevator opens and I walk out...

"Miss Nxumalo. You need to listen to me" she says rushing after me

"What is it Anita?!" I'm seriously annoyed now

"Just don't go to your office at least not now" she says sounding scared

I lower my eyebrow confused

"Anita, it's my office and why should I not go in there!" I kind of raised my voice

I continue walking to my office, I turned the knob and open the door.

"Because Nkanyiso's fa-" Anita's voice trails off

She's right behind me... I drop my bag and my laptop. I blink with my lips apart, I am shocked, what is he doing here. I turn to face Anita. She looks guilty and scared, my heart drops to my stomach. I close my eyes and mouth and tried to register what I've just saw. Is he really here

"Sindisiwe Nxumalo" my body begins trembling visibly as he called my name.

My heart pounding so hard in my chest. My breathing increase, I open my eyes looking at Anita. My eyes fill up with tears instantly, she knows I don't want this man. She knows how much I hate him, I hate him with everything in me. I hate him. Anita looks at the floor embarrassed, how could she let this man here!.

"My love" he says

I don't want to look at him. I don't want to see him or even hear his voice!, I push Anita aside and walk out rushed back to the elevator and punched the button to take me to the ground floor.. Once it reached there I ran out of the building, crying! Pouring with tears. Clouded with questions about that man in my office..everything just froze for a minute. My chest hurts so bad right now, I put my hand over my chest.

"Ma'am!" Anita shouts for me

But I continue running away, after everything. After what he did to me, he still has a nerve to come back like nothing ever happened. He's the reason why I hate men..

As I continue running like that, I didn't even notice that I am running on the road, I could hear car hooting but lay no mind to that. I just became numb and stuck in my own thoughts..not the memories coming back. Lord why did it have to be me!. I hear a car hoot approaching but I still faced forward, it hooted a couple times and then I knocked on the hard on the ground and everything became dull, my eyes blanked out...

1 day later:

*beep... Beep... Beep*

I slowly open my eyes and I just immediately realized I'm in hospital. The bed so comfy and yet my body feels hurt, I moan as I try sitting up.

"Oh Nkosi!. Sindi" My mother stands up from the chair that I didn't even see there.

"Amanzi" my dry hoarse voice

She nods and calls out a nurse to do that job. She comes back to me and hold my hand

"Kub'hlungu" - (it hurts) I cry

"ssh, I know mntanami. Just don't cry" she says rubbing the back of my hand

"Bucabangani kodwa Nxumalo? Heh?" - (what were you thinking Nxumalo?) she asks

Couldn't answer that. Couldn't even think right all I need is water, the nurse finally comes back with a glass of water. My mother fixed the pillow for me to lean on and helped me drink water.

"Where's Nkanyiso?" I ask as I put the glass on the table next to the bed

"He's with his grandpa" she says

I somehow felt relieved..

"Kwenzakaleni?(what happened) " she questions concerned

How will I say that Manzi is back. He's back to my life back to be In Nkanyiso's life I don't want him near my son.

"I mean you were hit by a car" she explains

I know that.

"Sindisiwe!" she looks at me sternly

I look to the other side.. I kept quiet

"Manzi is back" Her saying his name made me quickly look at her.

My heart is beating fast once again, my eyes became teary.

"Don't mention his name" I say

"He came to see Nkanyiso this morning." she says

I wipe the tear that had fallen fast.

"Wamvumela Nawe?(and you agreed to that?) " I ask

She looks at her hands and bites her lower lip nervously which means she did

"He's the father Sindi" she says trying to convince me in a way

"I don't want him near my son. I just can't have that man near my son that I raised all alone" I say

This time tears just came out pouring

"Sindi yehlisa umoya. He's changed" she says defensively

I look at her in disbelief

"Ma? Are you serious!" I can't believe her

"You should have seen how he was when he saw Nkanyiso." she explains

"I don't care I don't want him near my son mama. He's a dangerous man" I say

My head is hurting really bad. My stomach is even worse, I moan and lay back a bit.

"Sindi inhliziyo idinga ukuthi uxole(Sindi a heart needs to forgive)" she says

I scoff unbelievably, to say she knows exactly what I've been through and what that man put me through. She got the nerves to tell me that he's changed I don't care!!

"You need to take it easy Nana. It's not about you, Nkanyiso needs his father" she says

"Not a man like Manzi!" I protest

"Yeka inkani. (stop being stubborn.) do this for your son" she says getting up from her chair and grabs her bag

"You didn't get yourself pregnant" she walks away

To think of it, I just don't want that man. I just hate him so much I despise him. I wish they killed him, I wish he died no I wish I killed him.

"Miss Nxumalo" calmly a feminine voice calls me out of my thoughts

I look at where this voice is coming from. There's a female doctor standing by the door not alone with a tall brown skinned man behind. The doctor is holding a bag, she walks in and smiles at me

"It's nice to see you finally awake" she says

"I'm just going to do a little check up on you. Before we can be able to dismiss you" she says opening her bag that she had put on the side table.

She does her check up on me using the pocket diagnostic for examination of my eyes and ears.

"You look fine to me" she smiles

"Good, can I go home" I ask

"Sure why not. Just be thankful you didn't lose your life and thank this man for saving your life" she says pointing at him

I rolled my eyes, he should have just let me bleed off to death

"He's going to take you home" the doctor says

"I'll take myself home" I say slowly gettin out of bed

"In this condition. You're still fragile, he's going to take care of you" she says as she helps me out of bed.

I rolled my eyes..

I signed the dismissal papers and they dismissed me with the patient uniform. I'm tired I barely can walk properly, my who left leg is covered with splint. This guy that I don't know is helping get to his car which is few feet away and I'm already having it hard. When we finally reached his car he opened the back door for me, he hasn't said a word to me and like that he shut the door. He jogs to his side and got in and began to drive.

...