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When Finding "Me" Turns into Finding "You"

Aoi, a male college student who is struggling to find his own identity after succumbing to the pressure of people's expectations, was rejected by his long term crush that broke his heart. But little did he know that after this rejection, things would stir up in his life even more as he met the wonderful and mysterious girl named Yukino.

Ritsuuu · Realistic
Not enough ratings
75 Chs

Chapter 31: Alone in my Room

Days passed quickly then came Saturday. As we planned a few days ago, the group, including me would go to Inokashira park for a picnic hangout. The night before, I spent my time writing until 3 AM. As I figured, I was already out of my slump and to my surprise, it was a productive night. I'm already halfway through my novel, at this pace, I might finish it in a month or less. 

Despite sleeping late, I woke up today at 6 AM. And to my surprise, I'm not even sleepy. We weren't going to meet until 1 PM right after lunch so might as well go for a morning walk. Should I call Yukino? The phone rang for a few seconds before someone answered. 

"Aoi?" 

"Yeah, want to join me for a morning walk? I'll cook lunch for us and let's go meet them together in the afternoon. What do you think?"

"Yeah that sounds good, let me prepare first. I just woke up you know." 

"Okay, I'll pick you up in an hour." 

I prepared breakfast for myself which was just egg and bacon. I should probably fix my sleep schedule if I don't want to get sick. I'm getting dizzy mid lectures nowadays so that's probably the result of my lack of sleep. 

I prepared and put on a coat and scarf like what I would usually do. I'll probably stop by later at a laundry and wash my clothes, I'm running out of clothes to wear after all. I arrived at Yukino's house and saw uncle watering the plants outside. 

"You again. Yukino's still taking a bath." Said uncle with a rather disgusted face that looked so funny nowadays. 

"Good morning uncle. It's actually perfect that you're here." 

"What now kid?" 

I offered uncle a cigarette and we both lit one. 

"When's Yukino's birthday? I want to make it special." 

"When was it again?" 

"Uncle you can't be serious right now." 

"I'm joking! It's on the 12th of March." 

So 2 months from now huh? I'll start thinking about what to do then if I want to make it special. 

"Thanks uncle, you're the best!" 

A few minutes later Yukino came out and we started our morning walk. 

"So today will be a morning walk instead of a night one?" Asked Yukino.

"Yeah, this can be a nice change of pace. Or rather I just wanted to see you this early. Weird right?" 

Yukino slapped my shoulder while blushing. 

We passed by the bridge above the river where I saw Hina last time. But this time I panicked. There was Hina smoking a cigarette which seemed to surprise Yukino. What excuse should I give to Yukino? 

"Aren't you two lovey dovey this early in the morning?" Said Hina while still smoking a cigarette as if she didn't mind that Yukino saw.

"So you're smoking too Hina?" Said Yukino still surprised.

"Don't be too surprised Yukino, but please don't tell the others haha." 

"Sure but–" 

"I'll tell you about it sometime, don't worry." Said Hina with a smile.

Yukino looked at me with sharp eyes as if she's mad. 

"So? Are you the one who made Hina smoke?" 

"No!" 

Yukino was still suspicious but thanks to Hina's explanation, Yukino's anger at me subsided. 

The three of us enjoyed the morning view of the river as we stood over the bridge. The wind blew on our faces, the three of us felt a chill simultaneously and laughed. 

"So? Where are you two headed? Don't forget the picnic later." 

"We'll probably just stay for a while at my apartment. I guess it's about time that Yukino tasted my excellence in cooking." 

"Really? I guess I'll go back to sleep first once I go home. Anyway, see you later guys!" 

We waved Hina goodbye as the two of us also went on our way to my apartment. We arrived at the apartment by 8:30 AM which was still early. 

"Should we watch a movie? It's a bit early for lunch yet anyway." I suggested.

"Sure!" 

I turned on the tv as Yukino made herself comfortable on my bed. 

"Pick a movie, I'll just grab a quick smoke by the veranda. No horrors understood?!" 

Yukino laughed and teased me "He-he" 

As I was smoking out on the veranda, it finally sunk in my head that I'm alone with a girl in my room. Aside from Shin, this has never happened before. Shin's different, I always viewed her as a sister like friend so being alone in a room with her doesn't bother me the least bit. But this time is different, I'm alone with my girlfriend. This has started to get nerve wracking quickly. 

I went inside after I finished smoking and saw that she had already picked a movie. 

"I'm assuming that this one isn't horror." Said I.

"O c'mon, it's a drama so rest easy scaredy cat." 

Yukino signaled me to sit beside her on the bed. The bed was sitting at the corner of the room. Yukino placed a bunch of my pillows by the wall where we could lean our backs. We sat beside each other closely and our bodies were warming each other from the cold air emitted by the aircon inside my room. 

The movie she chose was called "Even if this love disappears from the world tonight". I've heard that this movie had a sad ending so I'm guessing I'll be crying by the end of it considering that I cry easily. 

As the movie continued to play and the events were starting to get serious, I glanced at Yukino watching the movie seriously, not even taking a second off the screen while hugging one of my pillows. 

Seeing how Yukino was so focused on the movie while I was here nervous about this situation made me want to do something. So I reached my hand out and placed my left arm around Yukino which seemed to surprise her a bit. I'm definitely embarrassed but I just want to be closer to her while we watch this movie. I looked at Yukino and she was all red but still not taking her eyes off the TV. 

The movie ended that made the two of us cry. 

"Why did you even pick this Yukino?" Said I while still crying.

"I wanted to watch it!" 

I thought of how one day I would lose Yukino. The movie made me realize that. But in my case, I won't forget everything about her which I think would be a lot harder on me. If I were to be completely honest, these days, the thought of Yukino leaving us has been bugging me. But I decided that I need to be strong for both of us, especially for her. It's a choice that I'd Have to live with no matter what. And something that I wouldn't regret.

"So? Should I start cooking now?" 

"Show me your skills and let's compare whose cooking is better!" 

She really is competitive, that's for sure.

There's a bit of a movie spoiler here so I'm sorry about that hehe.

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