Chapter 17: Always Available

I stuck the sweet tarts in my pocket and hid the key chain in the palm of my left hand. I slowly lumbered my way over to Sandy waiting for me about ten feet away from the counter. I needed some time to hype myself up to what I was about to do. Sandy was taking in all of the lights of the arcade when I walked up beside her. "What you get?" She curiously inquired.

I patted my pocket with my free right hand and concisely told her, "Just some sweet tarts."

Sandy perked her eyebrow up and started to say a sarcastic comment that cemented my resolve for my plan to get back at her, "Was that the only thing you got? I knew you didn't get many tickets, but I swore you had enough for a—"

"Actually, I did get one other thing," I quickly cut in before she could finish. "I got this for you."

I opened my left hand to reveal the penguin key chain to her. Her eyes widened with shock and quickly darted from me to the chain and back again. "I-uh—" She tried to stutter out, but I chimed in once more before she could finish her thought.

"I thought about what you said." I explained with a wary and nervous smile, almost to reassure myself. My eyes never wavered from hers, and I continued, "I don't want you saying that to anyone else."

As our eyes were still locked onto each other, I could see the full range of emotions she was experiencing. I finally felt like I could read her as well as she was able to read me, and I didn't have to wonder what hidden sadness she had. Her eyes glowed in the lights of the arcade, and I could see a genuine ecstatic feeling come across her face as a smile started to form and her tanned skin turned a dark shade of red. I felt her small, delicate fingers on top of mine as she carefully took the chain out of my grasp. But then like a winter fog, a cold glisten appeared in her eyes that just showed massive pain and regret as she clutched the key chain close to her chest.

Immediately the adrenaline I had built up then completely disappeared, and I had to look away from Sandy and stutter out, "I-I mean like to anybody in general you know? You shouldn't say that to just anyone, just to people you trust. And the keychain is to pay back for the food you got me and the rolos, so don't worry about it, yeah? A-anyway, I should probably go let the kids know we're about to leave."

"Y-yeah." She responded to me without looking.

Not being able to stay longer, I started to walk towards the bumper cars rink to get the kids. "I'm so STUPID!" I yelled inwardly at myself. I clutched my chest in pain, "I feel like I'm going to throw up." I muttered to myself. I turned around to check on Sandy, and she was just standing there alone looking at the trinket. Her braid was covering the left side of her face, so I couldn't see her facial expression.

Ahh, the pain I'm all too familiar with reappeared, and it was all my fault. I mean this is the second time we have met in person! What was I thinking?!

"Yo! What's taking you so long? Thought you were going to get the kids you slow poke!"

Sandy suddenly shocked back with her signature fun loving quip. She still had a blush on her face, and I desperately tried to make it seem like nothing was bothering me, telling her, "Y-yeah! My bad!"

I started to continue my arduous journey back to the center of the arcade before Sandy grabbed my arm and pulled me to her chest. I could feel her racing heart and warm breath on my shoulder, but I didn't want to look her in her eyes out of fear of just confirming what I saw moments ago.

"Hey," I felt the sweet and delicate touch of Sandy's hands turn my anxiously embarrassed face just inches from her own beet red one. I was back to being able to see every emotion that came across her eyes. Our nervous breaths passed over each other completely in unison. "U-um… I just wanted you to know that you're the only person I would say that to." She comforted me in a hushed, intimate voice.

I felt the pain in my chest ease up. Her beautiful hazel eyes never wavered from mine, never looked for an escape, or had a moment's hesitation. It was then I knew… I knew what she said was true. But even though her eyes comforted me with their unspoken words, they also sat in a somber sadness. They didn't cry, but they started to glisten, almost out of regret or loss. Like she was a kid that longed for something that she knew she could not have. You can't fix these with a simple outing to the arcade.

This… is the real Sandy. This is the final layer to her. I'm sure of it. You wouldn't act like this in front of someone if it wasn't how you truly felt. She's been putting on a joyful act this whole time I've known her, why? Her mouth started to tremble, and I thought she was just going to wilt away in my arms. I felt her fingers that moved my head to face hers start to shakily caress my cheek before she moved her face away as if to stop herself. I furrowed my brow in confusion and worry.

"Hey," I told her softly.

But before I could finish, she suddenly let go and ran off ahead of me to the bumper car arena. And so, I was left in bewildered confusion and anxious worry. I slowly followed Sandy's path and managed to see her when she got to the kids that just got out of the arena.

She smiled and started a conversation with them as if nothing had happened. I was honestly in awe of it, and I didn't know if she was the same person I just saw. "Was I talking to one of those celebrity clones?" I asked myself, "Or is it like a mirror dimension thing like Us?"

"Hey, Mark!" Gia's voice pierced like a shot directly into my thoughts to summon me over to their group.

"Ahhhhh, back to the grind." I sighed to myself. I mosied my way to the group, not really wanting to interact with the aggressively extroverted Gia. I needed time to digest everything, but sadly I cannot, and when I eventually got to the group, I asked the kids with a false smile, "You guys ready to go?"

Gia looked at me with pitiful eyes as she complained, "Can't you get us more tokens?"

"Only if you're paying for them."

Frustrated, Gia sighed and gave the same pitiful eyes to Danny who said that he only had five dollars. Rom told them she still had some tokens left, so if they combine the five dollars with her tokens, they'll all be able to go on the bumper cars one more time. Jumping at the suggestion, Gia whirled away with Danny's five dollars to the token exchange and back in the blink of an eye and the kids were off on their last trip on the bumper cars.

Sandy and I stood outside the rink, leaning on the rails gazing into the ring. We watched in silence as the kids were having a blast. Sandy no longer had that what I now know to be a fake smile on her face, but it wasn't as downtrodden as before.

"Fuck, what do I say after that?" I lamented to myself.

I eventually came to the conclusion that I should just say how I honestly feel. If it backfires, it backfires. My brain is too fried to keep worrying over what to say.

"Hey, you know you can talk to me anytime about anything, right? My schedule isn't exactly busy." I quickly told her as I turned to my side and leaned against the railing to face her.

She didn't turn to me at all and just gave a quick, "Okay."

I assumed she didn't believe me, so I leaned further toward her to reassure her, "Hey, I mean it. Look, I don't exactly have a bustling social life as you know. Anything you say to me won't get repeated anywhere. I—I know how bad and wrong things can get if stuff gets spread around."

I put my hand on hers that were folded out in front of her, sitting on the railing. She finally looked at me with somber eyes from earlier. I continued, "I know I'm most definitely sticking my nose someplace it doesn't belong considering we just met, but even I know something is up."

She grabbed hold of the railing and leaned back with a huge sigh. Looking up into the dancing arcade lights she said with an oddly relieved smirk, "Y'know, now that you mention it, I probably do trust you way more than I probably should. I think maybe because you're such a loner it's made me trust you easier because you have no one to gossip to."

I looked out at the bumper car rink with the trio happily crashing into each other. "That's…hurtful but valid." I said lightheartedly to her. I'm just happy a conversation is going.

"You're also so easy to read as well, so I always know what to expect." She continued.

"Again, I don't know how to feel about that…"

"You also really need a haircut. The Shaggy, curly hair is definitely… a look" She said as she put her feet in the railing opening and started swinging around in a circle with her arms.

"Okay, now you're just flat out insulting me…"

"Buttttttt…" She glanced over to me with her head still pointed to the ceiling, looking like a kid who can't wait to go on the playground. "You're unabashedly abrasive and yourself, which is something I wish I could be. You're one of the sweetest and kindest human being I have ever met, which isn't saying much because I'm like you. I don't have very many if any friends, which why I was the one freaking out if I was going too fast! I was so worried that you'd hate me for suddenly just venting to you like that!"

She whipped her body and head directly in front of me and asked more serious than ever, "You won't hate me, will you?"

Astounded at the sudden turn of events only a stuttered and hard, "N-no!" was all I could manage to get out before Sandy completely went into what was supposedly on her mind.

Her face went from longing to sad in almost an instant as she mumbled, "Not really…"

"So it's not bad living with Gia, but it's just frustrating as hell! I try so hard all the time to connect with her, but I can't. When you guys left to get Danny, I thought that I could try and play the game with her. I never had a console to play a game, and I thought it could be a good bonding moment if she could teach me. She huffed her voice when I asked and spat out a 'fine'. I was like okayyy, but I sat down beside her and grabbed the controller. I couldn't even play it for three minutes before she got frustrated with me and started to storm off into Danny's room. Saying, 'I guess you aren't perfect!' I don't even know why she keeps calling me that! I make so many mistakes ALL the time, and everything about me is just… anything but perfect. Don't get me wrong, I try to be, but I'm so far away… A-anyway, I tried to stop her, but she whirled back around and yelled at me. She asked, no commanded, me to stop trying to get close to her. She said that I'm not her real sister, and we'll never be anything like real sisters. She slammed Danny's door and didn't come back out until you guys showed back up. I don't get it! Why can't she realize that I'm just as uncomfortable with this whole thing as she is, but I'm trying to make it work?!"

Ahh, so that's what happened at the house when we left. I wish I knew what to say to her to magically make things better between her and Gia, but I have no idea. I've never been in that situation or something close to that situation before. All I can really do is, "I'm sure that felt good to let out." I said lightheartedly.

"Yeah… It did," she said with a smile. "Again, I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable! It just felt good to talk about."

I observed her warm smile. "She's still not telling me everything…" I thought to myself.

That's a smile that says, "I'm fine!" But in reality, it's really not. That smile combined with the deeper hurt that I saw earlier, and I know that this is not the only thing that is bothering her. She can't fool me with her acting anymore. But I can't force her to tell me. "Hey Sandy," I moved closer to her where our shoulders touched. "It's not a big deal, really. If you ever need to talk about anything else, anything. I'll always be free and open so don't be afraid to ask, okay?"

She smiled nervously at me, "You make it sound like I have more to say?"

"No…" I told her knowingly, "Well, maybe. I'm able to read you as easily as you can read me now."

"Oh, really?" She asked skeptically, to which I responded proudly, "Yep!"

"What am I thinking now then?" I looked at her, and she moved her head to her shoulder that was touch mine. She looked up into my eyes with hers, and her cheeks flushed red. "Cute!" I instinctively thought to myself. Ah! This is bad! I quickly changed the subject back to my original point.

"I'm just saying that if you ever have anything else I'll always be available."

"What if you're working?" She argued.

"I don't have a job."

"What if you're sick?"

"I'll take a Tylenol."

"What if you're in the middle of watching your favorite show?"

"I'll just pirate it online later."

"Pfftttt hahaha!"

"Hahaha!"

Bang!

Our laughter was suddenly cut off by the sudden bang of a bumper car hitting the wall beside the railing we were leaning onto. When Sandy and I finally jolted our eyes away from each other, we were met with Rom's sky-blue eyes staring into ours. "S-sorry!" She told us quietly.

Before either of us could tell her that it was okay, Gia slammed into her yelling, "You're wide open!!"

And with that they were back off going at it in the arena. Sandy and I immediately went back to joking around with each other until the time came for the kids to exit the arena for the final time.