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What It's Like To Be Loved

Based on the author's life, What It's Like To Be Loved is a story about the struggles about living as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints as a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Ashley (Ash) Stevens, a senior in high school, just moved from her beloved home in Atlanta, Georgia, to Sacramento, California determined to stop lying about her sexuality and mental health state.  While struggling to make friends at church and school, she meets Lizzy Williams and finds herself falling again. But high school romance is never without its flaws, and Ash has a lot to learn about herself... TRIGGER WARNING: This work mentions mood and anxiety disorders, homophobia and transphobia, self-harm, and nonconsensual kissing and touching.

Emmanem_Steed · LGBT+
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4 Chs

Chapter Two

"Hi, everyone. Settle down, please."

I glowered at the frizzy-haired girl at the front of the room. It wasn't that she'd done anything wrong, but I didn't like her. She reminded me of Amanda - a past fake friend of mine. Loud, confident, and the type of person who seemed to be perfect in every way.

Disgusting.

"Guys! Quiet! Ms. Anthony put me in charge! I'm the student conductor!" she bounced on her toes a little bit as the room of over one hundred kids quieted and faced her. "Thank you."

She lifted her arms and began conducting. The room filled with the sound of singing teenage voices: some good, some… well, not so much. But we were a choir. It was our job to balance each other out.

The short tenor on my left stood up and went to get a drink of water. The boy next to him leaned over. He had long curly hair and a black face mask.

"Can I have your number?"

I blinked at him for a second. Then I just nodded.

"Yes!" He exclaimed. I typed my number in his phone and gave it back as the short tenor came back and sat back down, looking back and forth between us.

Then he laughed.

* * *

I looked over my shoulder, making sure nobody was following, then I quickly slipped in between bookshelves. The manga section of the library.

I don't read manga. I don't. But my ex had been obsessed with Sailor Moon and reading the manga made me feel closer to-

I shut the thought down. My ex and I were over. We had been for months now. I couldn't dwell on it.

I grabbed the next two volumes - books five and six - and headed over to the checkout counter.

"Just these two?" The librarian asked. She smiled at me. "You seem to read these fast."

"Y-yeah." I stammered. It's because I don't have any friends.

I turned around with my books in such a hurry that I bumped right into the frizzy-haired bossy girl from choir.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" I ducked out of the way.

"Hey, wait!" She said, Her eyes flickered down to the books in my arms. I held them closer to my chest. Please don't say anything about the manga. Please, I'm not a weeb I don't read manga I swear I just-

"I'm about to go with some friends to get boba," She said. "Would you like to come?"

"I…" She just feels bad for you. Don't give her the satisfaction of a yes! Do you even like boba? "...can't. My brother and I have to go home."

She seemed to look disappointed, but I was sure it was just acting. We were in the same theatre class. "Oh, okay. Next time then."

"Yeah. Sure."

I turned and got out of there as fast as possible.

* * *

I pointed at the cute building next to the school. "This girl invited me to get boba with her and her friends." As soon as the words left my mouth I instantly regretted them.

Mom turned to me, excited. "Why don't you go?"

"I'm tired."

"What's her name?"

"I forgot."

"Ash, if you don't remember anyone's name you won't get very far. Are you sure you don't want to go?"

I slid down in my seat.

"Yeah."

I watched the boba place get smaller in the distance, wondering if that girl had actually been disappointed or not