Of lies and truths

Of lies and truths

Theon POV

I recognized the man who tried to kill me. It was the Titan's bastard, Mero. I wish the wizard didn't crush his neck, as I wanted to do that. Was it out of revenge that he targeted me, or was there something more? Once the wizard helped to free my leg, I checked the dead body first. I didn't find much apart from a few gold coins.

I was glad that no men of mine saw it. It was pretty humiliating how I became so defenseless. Even if it was an ambush and surprise attack, I still should have reacted better. Yet I fell into a situation where I couldn't move and had to be saved by an old man. At least it made me realize that I never should let my guard down. It won't happen a second time.

"Your grace, are you all right?" The bear came running to us.

"I am fine," Dany replied as Unsullied surrounded us and dispersed the crowd. "Arstan have slain him."

"It's Mero, the Titan's bastard," I informed her. "I have to say, for an old man, you are quite well versed in killing, Arstan Whitebeard, if that is your name."

"Your grace, stand back," The bear came to the same conclusion. "The Titan's Bastard was a nasty piece of work. And good at killing. Who are you, old man?"

"A better knight than you," The old man sighed.

"A knight? I thought you were a squire," Dany looked at the old man suspiciously. "Tell me the truth."

"Many called me Arstan while I traveled to Qarth, but it is not my name."

"Barristan the Bold," I said as images of the Kingsguard who served Robert came to me. "You are no wizard but a knight. The best knight in Westeros, some might say."

"Khaleesi, before you stands Ser Barristan Selmy, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, who betrayed your House to serve the Usurper Robert Baratheon," The bear warned Dany.

"The crow calls the raven black, and you speak of betrayal," The old man didn't even blink at the accusation.

"Why are you here?" Dany asked, more confused than angry. "If the Usurper sent you to kill me, why did you save me?"

"Usurper is no more," I answered. "His own Kingsguard killed him. Maybe you could shine some light on us on what happened that day."

"It is a long story, and I don't know much of it," The old man replied. "Your Grace, I am sorry I misled you. It was the only way to keep the Lannisters from learning that I had joined you. You are watched as your brother was. Lord Varys reported every move Viserys made for years. I heard a hundred such reports while I sat on the small council. And since the day you wed Khal Drogo, an informer by your side has been selling your secrets, trading whispers to the Spider for gold and promises."

"You are mistaken," Dany looked at Jorah Mormont as she realized what Barristan meant. "Tell him he's mistaken. There's no informer. Ser Jorah, tell him. We crossed the Dothraki Sea together, and the red waste…. "

"The Others take you, Selmy." The bear dropped his longsword and knelt before Dany. "Khaleesi, it was only at the start, before I came to know you, before I came to love . . . "

"Not another word!" Dany bit her lip so hard it started to bleed. "Go, get out of my eyes. I do not wish to see the two of you. For neither of you are my knights, you are no knights at all."

Dany stormed out in anger. The two knights could do nothing but watch her walk away before they turned to leave. Jorah darted angry eyes at Selmy, and I felt out of place. But I decided to follow Dany and try to calm her down. It would do no good if she ordered to attack Meereen out of anger before the preparations were done.

Dany ignored everyone and anyone as she walked into her tent. Before following her, I told the nearby Unsullied not to let anyone close. The first sight that greeted me was the dragons. Feeling their mother's anger, they snarled at me, and the white one even breathed black smoke, but seeing Dany not react to me, they backed off.

"Do you have a confession to tell me, too, Theon?" Dany asked as she poured wine into her cup, overflowing it.

"I am a knight," I said. "I was knighted by Lady Whent when I defended Harrenhal from The Mountain's and the Lannister's men."

"I heard you took the Mountain's eye," Dany commented. "And that you can't be killed. Oberyn and your own men told me many tales."

"I can be killed," I answered. "The Kingslayer killed me before I faced the Mountain. A stab through my chest. I bled to death."

"What are you talking about?" Dany asked before I undid my armor and tunic and showed her the scar.

"It wasn't the last time I died," I continued. "My father killed me the second time. He threw himself and me into the sea because he couldn't stomach the fact that I was his son. Thoros revived me before most of the captains of the Iron Islands. That is why some call me the god or the chosen champion of the Drowned god."

"That," Dany didn't know what to say.

"It's magic," I said. "And magic comes with a cost."

"I know that too well," Dany sat down, trying to digest what I said. "I have seen it before. What has it cost you?"

"My memories," I replied, seeing that Dany started to believe me. "I will never know how much I have lost, but there are holes. I have written a journal before that, yet I can barely remember half of the things I have written."

"It isn't too steep of a price for a life," Dany said.

"Taste," I continued. "I can't taste anything. The wine taste like water and has as much effect as water. Food taste like nothing. Everything is bland to me, no matter how many spices you put on it. Oh, and I don't sleep, get tired or feel pain or anything much at all. I no longer am a man."

"I don't know what to say," I could see that Dany had difficulty comprehending what I said.

"Thoros says that the Lord of the Light has brought me back. I still have things I must do," I said, filling the silence. "But sometimes I feel so tired that I want to close my eyes and never open them. The only sensation I have left is lust. Lust for bloodshed and women. Sometimes I think that's all that makes me human."

"Why are you telling me that?" Dany asked.

"Because you would have heard some stories from my men. Because you might find me weird in some ways," I said. "I think it was better if you heard it from me first before you started to form your conclusions."

I could tell that Dany didn't know how to react. She drank her wine but then looked down and put it down. She probably thought it would insult me if she continued drinking and enjoying it. I smiled, went next to her, and poured myself a cup of wine, too, before handing her cup back to her. I didn't bother putting on my armor but covered my scars with my tunic.

"What should I do?" Dany asked. "Forgive them for lying to me? Execute them for betraying my trust? Exile them for not being able to believe them anymore?"

"Test them," I answered, happy that Dany didn't question things I didn't understand and changed the topic. "Gave them the most deadly positions in the upcoming battle. If they want to serve you, they will accept it."

"I want to trust them madly," Dany said. "But even if they accept fighting a whole army by themselves, can I still believe their words afterward?"

"Listen to their reasoning first," I advised. "Lord Stark has taught me with his children once that if you can't execute a man while looking at their eyes, then maybe he doesn't deserve to die."

"Stark," Dany muttered. "You talk of him highly."

"He was like a father to me," I responded with a smile. "He never called me a Stark but taught me like I was one. At the same time, my blood father killed me. So, I have all the reason to think highly of lord Stark. Or maybe I don't remember a reason not to speak highly of him anymore."

"I'm sorry," Dany looked embarrassed about the topic. "Can you stay the night with me?"

"Rest, Dany," I smiled softly. "I will watch over you for the night."

Dany didn't take long to fall asleep after she bathed and drank some more wine. I could tell she was exhausted. I wanted to joke about her wording in her question, but I held my teasing and stayed silent as she drifted to her dreamlands. I wondered what it felt like to dream. I have long since forgotten it.

…

Dany looked a lot better the next day. She had a calm face and looked at Selmy Barristan and Jorah Mormont with clear eyes. Aside from us, there were Daario and Oberyn, but they kept silent as two knights knelt before Dany. Dany sat on a makeshift throne with Missandei and Grey Worm next to her.

"You are accused of betrayal," Dany said. "Speak your piece now, or be forever silenced."

"It may be that I must die a traitor's death, your Grace," The not wizard spoke first. "It is true. I took Robert's pardon. I was injured. He could have killed me for my services to your father and brother, but he didn't. He told me to kneel and protect him as I protected your father. I accepted for I believed then that Robert would be a good king as he was a good man."

"Good men do not kill children," Oberyn didn't take it well.

"At that moment, he was nothing but a brave, generous, and merciful man," Barristan continued. "I chose to serve him faithfully and honorably despite any personal reservations I had of him later on."

"But then he died," I commented. "Tell me, how did that happen."

"It was fast," Barristan replied. "One-moment lord Stark confronted the King and the Kingslayer. At that time, I protected the doors. The next moment the Kingslayer killed the king, and chaos ensued. Only Ser Arys and I stood by the side of lord Stark while the rest of the Kingsguard turned their cloak on us."

"And you ran?" I asked.

"Lord Stark has instructed me to protect Prince Renly, but too many men were loyal to the Lannisters. Renly told me to take Ser Loras to safety with his dying breath, and I listened."

"Why come to Daenerys? Why not Stannis? Or Robb Stark?" I asked.

"For at the time, I believed that Stannis knew the truth but abandoned his brother to fear for his life," he said.

"What truth?" Daenerys asked.

"That Roberts children were not his, but the children of Jaime Lannister and his sister Cersei Lannister."

There were many reactions. Oberyn probably had heard of this and didn't care if it was true, so the confirmation meant nothing to him. Daario looked disinterested as he didn't fully understand the statement. Jorah was surprised but kept silent. Dany was laughing like she had heard the funniest joke ever.

"I came to find you, your Grace, because part of me didn't know what to do. Another part of me felt guilty and worried about you as I knew the conspiracy to assassinate you. But as we traveled together, I came to find you to be a good and just ruler. I came to admire your determination and compassion."

"And you, Mormont? Why have you betrayed me?"

"For a promise of home," Jorah admitted. "Varys promised me that I would be able to return home. That's why I gave him information about you to him."

It was short admittance, and as he finished his words, he looked at the ground, refusing to look at Dany. Nobody said a word, waiting for Dany to judge them. Dany looked at the two men with sympathy. As the silence stretched, I feared she would forgive them, but she seemed to take my advice of last night to heart and chose to give them a grievous task.