Prologue: Met A Dude Named Jacob. Turns Out They Were God.

(Disclaimer: I'm not exactly knowledgeable about martial arts, so just see this for suppsoed "entertainment" purposes only.)

Ishii Takeo was a transmigrator. That was a simple enough fact that he kept dearly to his heart, as most people would if they were to experience the same thing as him. His death hadn't really been out of the ordinary. He died in a car crash.

Or to be more specific, a seemingly blue car had crashed into him running at around 75 mph. This impact instantly crushed most of the bones in his body and sent him flying across the road, rattling about, most of his organs severely damaged. From what he could faintly remember, blood was also spurting from his mouth like a fountain as he cartwheeled at high velocities.

He then proceeded to ragdoll about for a while more, before being impaled through the heart upside-down by a hazardously placed pipe. As he looked down, or in this case, up at the rusting metal pipe in his chest, the sound of mournful Jazz music played in the background.

And that was all he remembered from his previous life. The next thing he knew, Takeo had found himself in a "void of nothingness". From here, everything took a very cliche turn, in which…. That entity appeared.

Some called him God, others just referred to him as ROB (Random Omnipotent Being), and Takeo called him Jacob. Despite simply being a giant mass of light, he felt like the entity's rightful name was Jacob. It just simply made sense when you looked at the guy. Sometimes, when you just stare at someone without knowing their name, you just feel like they seem to be named: "Blank".

Takeo stood in the void, quite perturbed by this new, inhuman setting. Looking about, he felt like it was quite beautiful. A sea of blanketing darkness, wrapping one around in its comfortable, isolated embrace.

But then, with a flash, Jacob appeared. The being in question manifested itself as what seemed to be a titanic silhouette of light that loomed higher than that of a skyscraper. Warping and shifting constantly, it was a burning white but somehow didn't hurt his eyes.

They "stared" at each other for a moment, before Jacob spoke. There was no movement of the mouth or anything. He simply heard the ethereal being speak into his ears.

"Hello, young Takeo…. Congratulations on your untimely death!" The mass of light squirmed about enthusiastically.

"Huh. Thank you. Your praise is highly appreciated. Really made my day." His eyes obviously annoyed, Takeo sighed self-depreciatingly. That time, he'd only looked at the left end of the street. If he'd looked right too, maybe he wouldn't have died. Adding on to that, most of the drivers in his neighborhood were slow college freshmen who were too scared to go on the highway. And, it was a red light.

"Drivers these days are pretty scary. Also, just saying, I absolutely had nothing to do with it by the way. No sir." Stretching out its elongated shining "arms", the being gave him a chuckle, flicking aside what seemed to be a cigarette.

"Don't worry… I wholeheartedly believe you." His tongue dripping with sarcasm, Takeo still retained his stoicism, resisting the urge to insult the being in front of him.

"Good, good, good! I knew I liked you, kid!" Jacob let loose another laugh, which sounded much like that of a tea kettle. Suddenly, the being started rummaging through what seemed to be its pockets, before procuring a large clipboard. Takeo estimated that it was about the same size as the Empire State Building. Going on, the being hummed for a bit, before speaking up once more:

"While the incident of your death had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with me, I feel the need to help a poor spirit such as yourself."

"Indeed. So, what do you want? Are you just gonna laugh at me more, and then send me off to the Pure Land?" Takeo sighed, stretching out his hands absentmindedly.

"No, man. Just wait a second…." Jacob proceeded to flip through the clipboard. "Okay, Ishii Takeo. A top student at your High School, scoring first on your Finals all three years. A lover of dogs, your Shiba Inu praised you as the greatest man alive. You're also a pretty good home chef, and there are probably quite a few notable things I can say about you. But the most notable thing is… This. Tohoku's Strongest Yankee. Beat the crap out of seventy-five delinquents in an hour. Impressive, no?"

"I'd say my track record wasn't too bad." Nodding humbly, Takeo yawned out loud, thinking back.

"Anyway, you are a smart guy. And also an adept fighter. I also sorta feel bad. For something I definitely didn't do…. So, I got you a second chance." Acting as if giving someone a new life was an ordinary, everyday thing, Jacob snapped his fingers.

*Fwoom!*

Dropping out from above in a cloud of cartoony smoke, a lottery machine appeared. It was a bright red, much like one that would appear in a Las Vegas Casino. It had a simple ball handle, and a cartridge row of random numbers.

"This, my friend, is the newly minted 'Second Change Gamble', the cumulative genius of three seconds of inspiration!" Snapping its fingers, Jacob bent down, that humanoid, detail-less head of light looking down excitedly.

"Oh. That's great….." Inspecting the machine carefully, Takeo shrugged. He wasn't much of a gambler. His luck was for the most part, horrible, leading him to not take bets unless he was sure that he could win.

"I'll give you two draws. One for setting, and one for 3 abilities. The random numbers you draw will correspond to a certain thing(s)." Jacob held up a few fingers, explaining the whole process in "vivid" detail.

"Fair enough." Takeo put his right hand on the machine, feeling the cold metal against his skin. Would his luck be good? He didn't really know. But his instincts told him to just go with the flow. There wasn't really much to do.

This wasn't a dream, he would have to take this chance. As he stared forwards, his hands began to tremble, and for the first time in a while, a certain expression began to cross his face. It was an arrogant, anticipating smirk that curved along the right side of his face.

*Clang….*

Reaching out, his calloused palm wrapped around the lever, before yanking it downwards. A strange twinkling sound played in the background. The screen before him spun about, as countless numbers flashed by his eyes.

[Ding! Ding! Ding!]

[74235]

[Congratulations!]

[You've redeemed the world…..]

[Mega Urban Webtoon Mashup Pack XL (+Secret Bonuses) !]

"....." Takeo stared on for a second blankly. He could somewhat guess what the thing referred to. While he was more partial to manga, being a Japanese kid, reading webtoons could be pretty entertaining too. But what was this naming sense…? Why was it so lame? Maybe he was simply overthinking it? Shaking his head, Takeo stared at the name again, before looking up at Jacob questionably.

"Come on man~ I'm a genius of naming sense. Be glad. It could have been Attack On Titan." The glowing entity patted itself on the shoulders.

Ignoring the motion, Takeo considered the "Mashup Pack" for a while more, before reaching out for the lever once more.

*Clang!*

Once again, the screen spun, those numbers blinking as it began to run. Holding in his breath, he watched the machine ring out once more.

[Ding! Ding! Ding!]

[62367]

[Congratulations!]

[You've redeemed the skills….]

[Beat 'Em Up Boys]

[Everyone Else Is Basically A Sloth]

[Musical Elephants Tapdancing On Ants]

(A/N: Please note, no effort was put into naming these abilities or their powers, so don't expect too much in the future.)

"Oh… Hm. Wait a second…. The f*ck!" The humanoid being of light bent down, its giant face peering behind Takeo before it suddenly screamed in shock. Waving those strange inhuman arms about, it face-palmed, before breaking out into laughter.

"I suppose I got some good stuff?" Eyes trailing over the screen, Takeo watched as the screen changed, his eyes widening…..