Chapter 60

As I walked into my mom's room, it dawned on me that I only ever went in there for two reasons, to either put her down after she drank too much or to tidy up the space. When we got to the bed she suddenly shrugged me off, then she struggled on her own until she was seated on its edge. 

I wanted to just walk out and leave her, but I was too curious about her job and whether or not she actually had it. So I asked. 

" What happened to the dinner? Don't you work there anymore?" 

My tone was as casual as ever, I removed any hint of judgement from it because I knew her too well. She placed a hand on her forehead, which reminded me to get her some painkillers before I left. 

" I called in sick! That jerk is overworking me!" 

I slowly nodded. She was overreacting, I knew she was. Sometimes she just did things like that even though she knew they'd get her fired. Plus she hadn't even been working there for three weeks. 

" What's it to you anyway? "

" Nothing, just curious. "

" Nosey is more like it. "

" Get some rest. "

I was about to walk out when she called out my name, her tone harsh, I frowned and asked her what was wrong. I wasn't in the mood for her alcohol induced mood swings. And when I looked at her, I saw how worn out she looked. The bags under her eyes and the paleness of her skin. And she was way too skinny. I had seen her at her worst over and over again, but this was the first time I was starting to feel actual worry. Her kind of lifestyle had consequences and I was afraid she just didn't care enough.

" Next time, mind your fucking business!" She instructed.

" What do you mean?" 

" Those were my guests! This is MY house! "

" Sure, whatever. "

" Kid, don't use that tone with me. "

" I was only trying to help, you need to lie down. " I shook my head, then I chose to ignore her and walked out. She was still rattling on and on about how ungrateful and ill mannered I was. Sometimes when she was in such a state I had to literally lock her in her room, otherwise she was going to follow me around the entire house, yelling and throwing anything her hand came into contact with. I had learnt my lesson as a child, back when I had the crazy fantasy that I could calm her down when she was acting out like that. So as soon as I walked out of her room, I stood by her door for a couple of minutes to make sure she wasn't intending to follow me out. 

I already felt as if the day had been sent from hell, there was no way I was going to enjoy the remainder of it when my morning had started off like that. My mood had lowered to an absolute zero. It was still pretty early to get ready for work, but there was no way I was going to stay there with her around. I headed to my room and got ready as fast as I could. And afterwards, I took a glass of water and some meds and went back to my mom's room, she was asleep on the covers in a clearly uncomfortable position, so I tucked her in as best as I could and left the meds on her bedside table for when she woke up. I knew she would most likely sleep throughout the day, and because I didn't want her to miss work, I was gonna go back to check on her in the evening. 

I had a number of texts from both Max and Kira...and a few from Jenna as well. She wanted the store's address so that she could drop by and check up on the gift she had mentioned. I sighed, but I still sent it to her because there was no reason not to. Then I decided to ignore Max and Kira because I just wasn't in the mood to think about the concert and all that. 

I had gotten to the second floor when I saw him. 

His scent hit me first, making my mind alert because even my subconscious was aware of him and what he represented to me. And even though I was acutely aware of his presence somewhere around me, I refused to believe it until I saw him, I stopped and looked down. 

He was looking up and directly at me, his hand on the railing and the other tucked into his jacket pocket. I looked back, for a reason even I didn't know, then I looked back at him and it dawned on me just how much I had missed him. 

" Where're you off to in such a hurry?" He asked, his lips tilting up in the barest hint of a smile. 

" You're back, "

" It appears I am. "

He narrowed his gaze at me. The way he always did when he was trying to 'read' me. To feel out the temperature in the room because his instincts told him something wasn't right. And j was doing the same with him because I had known him for way too long. Austin could laugh and joke around with me, but if he wasn't actually okay then I would still be able to tell. 

I realized that he had been planning on going over to my place and was glad he hadn't made it there. 

" Why didn't you tell me you were coming over?"

" Wanted to surprise you. I'm guessing I've succeeded? You look shaken. "

I scoffed, then I slowly went down the stairs and towards him. I was scared to be that close to him yet there was nothing I could do about it. I needed him, I needed to be as close to him as I could be because at the moment I was feeling awful...drained.

I stopped when I got to the step above his, it made me automatically taller than him, but then he fisted his hand in my shirt and pulled me down to stand next to him. 

" I'm still mad at you, " I informed. 

I wasn't lying either, he had run off without saying a word to me. I wasn't over it yet. 

" I'm sorry, "

I frowned again. There was no goofy response, he hadn't said anything teasing or casual. Instead he leaned back against the railing which was placed a few inches away from the wall. It was just a long metal bar that had been placed there for the sake of kids and the elderly I guess. So in truth, he was leaning mostly against the wall than the metal bar itself. And after he did so, he wrapped a hand around my neck and pulled me towards him. I went willingly, but the discomfort was almost overwhelming. I wanted to be there, to feel him against me, but still... Perhaps it was because he had been away for all those days, before leaving we had established a sort of firm ground. But he had tampered with it when he gifted me with his absence. 

" It's cold, you should have worn a jacket, " he suddenly said. I had forgotten to do that because of my desire to leave the house, and I wasn't planning on going back. 

" Never do that again. " I rather warned. 

" What?"

" Disappear! Or next time, just warn me first!"

" You're not gonna let that go, are you?" 

" It was wrong of you. "

His eyes were still roaming over me, as I'd he was recalling the details about me he had forgotten while away. I realized that he wasn't going to make a move, other than the hand wrapped around my nape, he wasn't planning on doing anything else. He hadn't even taken his other hand out of his pocket, probably because he was trying to maintain some control. But he knew how I was about such things, I didn't have it on me to act on my fantasies. Maybe if it was darker...

He must have read my thoughts, perhaps because of the way I kept looking at him. The yearning in my eyes that I could not for that life of me hide even if I tried. How my hand would go up with the intention of touching him before I grew conscious and dropped it. But it was Austin, he knew me. He knew what I needed without me needing to say it out loud because in many ways, he needed it as well. 

He chuckled, ruffled my hair playfully, then he pulled me closer and wrapped his arm around me. 

" Come here, " he said. The words spoken into my skin. He took in a deep, then I felt his other hand on my back, pressing me against him in a clear sign of desperation.

" What was I searching for when you're all I need?" he asked. I didn't reply because I assumed the question was rhetoric, and even if I did choose to reply, what would I say? 

But I did hold onto him as if my life depended on that sacred contact. I wondered why he had disappeared in the first place, what could have possibly made him do so?

" Going to work?" 

I nodded.

" This early?" 

" Yeah, "

He unexpectedly kissed my neck and I sucked in a breath. It wasn't one of those casual kisses that were light and barely felt. It wasn't a one second press of his lips to my skin before he drew back, it was almost scary in its depth. 

" I'll go with you, " he offered afterwards. And I didn't object because I'd be a hypocrite to do so. He slowly drew back, and as he was placing his hand back into his pocket my lips parted and reached out and grabbed it. 

" What the hell?"

I wrapped my own hand around his wrist, then I brought it up to inspect it better. His hand was wrapped in some blue cloth which he had probably just ripped out of somewhere not that long ago. And even though I couldn't see how badly hurt it was, I was still concerned. 

" It's nothing-"

" What happened?" 

Had he fallen off his bike? Or...

" Let me guess, you got into a fight. "

He shrugged. 

" It's not that serious. "

He pulled his hand away and sought out the pocket of his jacket. I ran a hand over my face. I needed him to be my balance, he couldn't do that when he was messed up himself. I had thought he was seriously done with all the fighting but I had obviously been wrong. 

" Did you clean it up?" 

He didn't reply but his expression told me all I needed to know. 

" Here, let me see, " I grabbed his hand again. He surprisingly let me, a guilty look on his face as I carefully unwrapped the cloth. He hissed once and I narrowed my gaze. 

" Thought you said it wasn't that serious. "

" I'm not immune to pain Stevens, no matter how small. "

I paused to look at him as he said that, then I went back to my task, and once I was almost done I stopped. I hadn't even unwrapped it completely, but I could already tell that he was lying. 

" Austin, " I shot my eyes to him once more, and they portrayed the shock and worry I must have been feeling. The blue of the cloth was almost entirely soaked in blood. And for him to just be standing there so casually, as if nothing was wrong. 

" You need to get this checked out. "

"Nah, it'll heal on its own. "

I shook my head, wrapping it back up because I didn't actually wanna see how bad the damage was. And I wondered what sort of fight he had been in. It had to be something serious for him to be that badly hurt. 

" This will definitely get infected if you don't have it taken care of. Come on there's a clinic not too far. "

I tried pulling him along but he refused. Then he said all he needed was a first aid kit and he could do it himself, I didn't believe him. 

" You'll just make things worse, come on. "

I pulled him along, feeling thankful that he actually let me. I wasn't overreacting, if it was something that could be fixed with a band-aid I would have done it myself. 

" My God, Austin! You have to stop picking up fights with everyone you don't like. "

I wasn't sure whether the clinic would be opened that early, but I hoped so. 

" No way!" I refused when he tried walking over to his bike. I wasn't letting him ride that thing, not when his hand was all messed up like that. And he wasn't taking the issue as seriously as it was supposed to be. 

" We can walk. "

" What? You think I'll drop you?"

" Stop arguing. "

I just wanted a perfectly normal day, it wasn't even officially seven yet, but so much had happened and I didn't like most of it. I liked Austin, but I couldn't stand that violent side of him at all. A few minutes later, I let him fall into step beside me. I was leading the way since he didn't know where the clinic was. 

" You okay?" He asked me halfway there. Then he shifted to walk backwards Infront of me so that we could talk face to face. It was a familiar action. 

" You'll fall. "

" We're going to a clinic anyways, aren't we?"

" How wise of you. "

He smiled, glancing back to make sure there was nothing in the way. But he also knew that I was looking out for him, I wouldn't let him trip. 

" What's wrong? You seem a bit... agitated. "

He asked and I shrugged. That was not the time to talk about me. And I wasn't planning ion telling him the actual reason.

" So do you, everything good?" 

" Super!" He sarcastically replied, giving me a thumbs up and putting on a fake smile. 

" Same here. "

" Hmmm," he said, sounding deep in thought. 

" What if we compromise? You tell me and I'll tell you. "

" I don't trust you that much. "

" Ouch, I'm offended. "

" Be careful!" I held onto his upper arm, there was a step not too far and he wasn't paying attention. So I pulled him to stand next to me again and I pointed to the path.

" Just walk normally. "

" What's up? Other than school and your job?" 

I maintained my silence. 

" Your mom?" 

I shot him a look, then I concentrated on the path once more. 

" I'm onto something, aren't I?" 

" Just worry about your fractured bones. "

" She still the same?"

" What's that got to do with you?"

" A lot actually. "

I scoffed and told him he was delusional. He tried to mess around by holding my hand but I pulled it away and warned him off. 

" Everything that has to do with you is naturally my business. "

" Like I said, delusional. "

" We had already passed this stage Stevens. I clearly recall you admitting that you're mine. "

" Whoa, hold up!"

I came to an instant stop and so did he.