Chapter 149

" This shit's actually kinda interesting, " Austin admitted. We had initially agreed to study for an hour, but since I had to help him out, we extended the time by about fourty five minutes. I only stopped when I was sure he had understood. Tutoring wasn't something I normally did, but for him I'd spare as much of my time as I had to. And he was making things much easier by being so receptive and co-operative. And I really appreciated that. He could have decided to just put an end to it all but he was rather the one ensuring me that it was okay. And whenever he asked me something it confirmed that he was paying attention. But I didn't wanna tire him out, there was a limit and there was no need for me to overdo things. He would forget if I forced all that information on him in one day, and judging from his expression, he was also getting exhausted. 

"Why don't we stop? We can go on tomorrow, " 

" Yes please!" 

He ran a hand over his face and then fisted it in his hair, his eyes still on the notebook. And I could see that he was instinctively reading since he had been doing it for so long. 

But if he was that okay with studying once I made him, what had been the issue before? It genuinely hurt me to think of all the time he had lost, all the tests he had failed just because he wanted to. Because he held some crazy grudge against his dad and was trying to prove a stupid point. It was things like that which made me wanna punch him, he was hurting himself. His dad was already well-off. A goddamned engineer! If Austin failed to graduate then he'd be the only one to blame. 

I decided to try and talk some sense into him. Not really a lecture, but just me giving him the honest facts and praying that he chose to listen. He was hard headed but I was proud enough to believe he held a soft spot for me, and that he would listen simply because I was the one asking. 

" You have to promise me that you'll study more from now on. You've seen how easy it is, right?" 

He casually shrugged, leaning back against the chair and playing the pen between his fingers. Turning it swiftly and skillfully, I let my eyes fall to the action for a second before I looked up at him again. He didn't wanna be having that sort of conversation but it's not like he had much of a choice. 

" You're wasting your potential and I'm not gonna just stand by and watch. "

" I agreed to study, I already have. Do we have to make a big deal out of this?" 

" It IS a big deal! Austin I care too much to just pretend that I'm okay with how you act. "

He had just proven that his mind wasn't the issue. He could actually understand and recall things, so him not studying was purely out of choice . That angered me severely. 

" Look, I'm willing to help, but you have to be willing to learn as well. "

For him, I'd use as much of my free time as needed to help him out. I even told him that he shouldn't think about the midterm since it was really close and it would probably be impossible to make much of a difference, but we should focus more on the future. 

" We're not gonna graduate till next year, that's more than enough time if you really put your mind to it. "

" But I just..." He had so much to say, so many freaking excused and jaded thoughts, but this time around I didn't let myself listen to him. In trying to be the supportive boyfriend who didn't want us to argue over everything, I had made him lose a great amount of time which would never he recovered. But if we really worked with the time we still had, and he decided to welcome the idea even more, then we would definitely make a difference. 

" I just don't think books are for me. "

" Bullshit! That's pure crap."

Back when we had been kids, he had always made a little effort, just a little, but it had been there. And I was well aware that he had only done so because of his mum, but it was finally time for him to think about himself and do right by him. 

I shifted to sit whole facing him, then I placed a hand on his thigh and gently rubbed up and down, he refused to face him. The stubbornness wasn't shocking. I knew I was asking for a lot from him,buti wasn't going to stop until he gave in. Despite how long it took, he was going to have to just comply and do as I requested. If I passed and he didn't, then I'd blame myself even more, and there would be no joy in that whatsoever. 

" I care about you. You don't wanna hear this but nothing is as easy as you think it is. " 

" You sound like my dad. "

" That's because he's right..and so am I. "

" I might be good in Biology but there's things like Maths. I'm completely sure I'll never be good at those no matter how much I try. "

" But you've never even tried to be. "

" I don't have to,I just know. "

" Then we'll try together this time, we'll start small and advance from there. "

He closed his eyes and pressed the heel of his palms to them, blowing out a breath afterwards. He actually seemed pretty exhausted, and I knew that the studying had something to do with it, he wasn't exactly used to sitting down and reading for close to two hours. 

" I know it's a huge ask, but can't you try? "

" Kyle.."

" For me? We can work around your schedule, whatever your comfortable with. "

I was making it such that it would be hard for him to say no. And if he did then he'd definitely feel bad about it. Reaching for his hands, I held them in both of mine and gave him a very pleading look. He was the one that was gonna gain but he didn't look at things like that. I suppose he had actually already given up hope. Like he had already accepted that he was forever doomed to fail, and I wanted to change that. 

" We'll even get to spend more time together. "

" I can see what you're trying to do. "

" Then just say yes already! "

I kissed his hand and tightened my hold. I really just didn't want to experience the awful feeling of watching him fail. Since we were together, I was naturally going to feel bad. And I was sure others would wonder why I hadn't even tried to help him out. Whether he cared or not. I would have brought up his racing and how he shouldn't out all his eggs in one basket but I decided that would be too much. 

" I'm doing this simply because I love and want the very best for you, " It sounded so damn corny but it was also the truth. 

When he didn't say anything, I decided to give him time till the next day to think things through, but his phone rang before I could tell him. He reached for it on the table with knew hand, and I continued holding on to the other. But immediately he saw who was calling, he switched off the phone and turned it upside down before placing it back on the table and far from my reach. 

I had, however, already seen who it was. And I was filled with questions and this strong sense of both anger and betrayal. As if sensing how I felt, he slowly turned to me, and my expression must have told him everything he needed to know. I glanced at the phone, then at him. 

" Don't freak out -"

" Why the hell is my mum calling you?!" 

Or better yet, why did he have her saved on his phone to begin with? It had literally read "Kyle's mum". It just didn't make any sense, and his reaction to the call had only made things worse. It was a clear sign that he was hiding something from me that he didn't want me to find out. 

There's no way my mum would have searched for Austin's number, which meant he had most likely been the one to call her. After stealing the number from my own phone. And that upset me a great deal, there were just some things which he couldn't interfere in because they were extremely personal and I was the only one who could decide how they went. Him talking to my mum was, in my book, a form of betrayal. 

" It's just that I noticed each time she called you hang up. I only wanted to ensure her that you were okay. "

" How many times have you talked to her?" 

He was quiet for a while but finally decided to respond. 

" Three, maybe four times. "

" About what?" 

I let go of his hand, and then I reached for his phone to confirm for myself. I didn't care how close him and I were, some issues were not to be meddled in. I didn't care why he had done what he had, the bottom line was that it pissed me off.... again! That was really becoming a routine.