Chapter four

All I can hear now is my fast-beating heart and muffled voices.

I'm in year six again, lounging on the wooden school benches that overlook the soccer field. All are smiles as the minutes wind down to the bell; the one that signals the end of lunch, signalling the commencement of classes being sorted for the year, signalling complete and utter excitement.

I love that feeling. That anything could happen. It was the same feeling I felt every time I was one step away from something amazing. It didn't matter whether it was in real life or in one of my novels, I adored that feeling.

When you know that the next chapter, the next page, the next line, holds so much of an adrenaline rush that you could scream, cry, laugh, and hurl the book across the room, all at the same time, puts my neck hairs on edge.

When you know that after the next bend, after ascending towards the heavens, so high that you feel that you can touch the sun, you'll be speeding towards the ground. Your heart aches in anticipation of the feeling.

When you know that the decisions made in the library will determine which clique you hang out with, which uninteresting teacher you'll be stuck with, and possibly all your happiness for that year, you'd be all shivers, wouldn't you?

In one second, I'm laughing at something Emily had blurted, the next, all noise became insignificant white noise as my eyes fell upon Harry Evans.

"Tasmin…"

Goosebumps.

"Tasmin?"

Sharp jabs all over my arms.

"Tasmin!"

I clear my throat. "Yeah?"

Emily puts a hand on my shoulder. "You're so hot."

My cheeks are indeed flushed beetroot-red, along with my shoulders and ears.

Who was he?

"Girl, go stand in the shade. You look like you're about to faint. And you know better than all of us that we'll be kicked off the ship if you throw up right here, right now," Lilli warns me, shoving me lightly into the shade. I glance through the window again.

Where'd he go? I'd be damned if I don't get to meet him.

The rays of the sun painted his hair golden. As golden as the lush grass on the soccer field. And suddenly I'm breathless. Weightless. On Cloud Nine; whatever you want to call it.

"Come on, Tasmin. We've finished filling out our details. Take yours and don't forget your duffel bag," Lilli reminds me, as if I haven't been through this same process a million times.

I pick up my duffel bag and sheet without responding, making my way behind an old couple in the line. They don't seem to notice the giant gap between them and the next passengers, and I grunt in frustration.

I'm determining whether or not to push in front of them, but Lilli's suddenly taking my arm. "You okay, Tasmin?"

I sigh loudly and dramatically, purposely falling into her arms. She turns me and hugs me tight, pressing my head into her shoulder so my breathing is 99.99% restricted.

"Tasmin, have you got a fever all of a sudden?" Emily says, frantically grabbing my face in her hands and squeezing like a mother would. She presses the back of her hand to my forehead, continuing, "What's wrong? Tell us what's wrong."

"Don't turn her head like that or you'll break her neck." Lilli scolds.

I'm gasping for air, but I attempt to answer. "I s-saw —"

"I know how to keep this child safe, Lillian!" Emily snaps at Lilli. I smile stupidly. To me, Emily says, "Tasmin, you need to snap out of it, okay? I don't know what type of mental breakdown you're going through right now, but you just gotta hold on until we get on the cruise," Emily tells me, eyes wide. Then she's glancing around nervously and leaning close to my ear. "At least sit tight and don't look suspicious," she whispers.

For some reason, her weird way of words hooks me out of my trance. I'm breathing normally again, my heart is beating at a healthy rate, and my vision is now clearing.

Tasmin, don't let some random cutie get inside your head.

I look up, admiring Emily's worried expression, and nod. She may be a little bonkers, but she's my best friend.

Lilli gets me back on my feet, and I give them a thumbs-up, stepping forward in the line.

Keep your head forward, Tasmin.

The line seems to be moving quicker now.

Don't look back.

I try to focus on my breathing.

Don't lose it.

"I've lost it!"

At the same time, Lilli and I are flicking our heads (along with everyone within earshot) towards Emily, who definitely looks like she is losing it.

I should probably introduce you to my friends.

Emily: tall and beautiful. In my opinion, model-worthy, though she denies it every time I say so. With gold-brown, frizzy hair over her tanned dark-skin, she's always brought the boys to the yard. Unfortunately, most of those boys ended up wiping that omnipresent smile away.

She has a very likeable face. And she's always smiling or trying to make any situation brighter than it is. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she popped out of her mum's womb with a big, toothy grin on her face. Or non-toothy.

Apart from being a goofball, Emily has been there for me since year three. And from the moment we met (I was the only one at the table that laughed at her joke), we knew we'd be the craziest, happiest pair to ever exist.

Beside me, Lilli perks up.

"What? What did you lose?!" Cue the mother of our group.

Lilli was a transfer student and came to our school in year four. When we heard, Emily and I immediately offered to be her tour guide. My first impression of her: conserved.

Lilli only spoke if she was spoken to, giving her full attention in class, unlike her tour guides. She even shot us a few dirty looks in class when we started to get on her nerves. But I remember vividly the day Lilli's stoic demeanour broke.

Let me give you one guess who broke it.

One week into Lilli's first term of school. A storm decided to brew, bringing down rain that hit as hard as bullets, and wind that could turn humans into flightless seagulls. The storm came so quickly, and within the span of the first thunderclap above and the shower of rain, barely a minute had passed.

The entirety of our class had settled down on the floor to watch a movie, but Lilli sat further back, in her assigned seat, a book and flashlight in hand. Suddenly, Emily was jumping and screaming, "I left it outside!"

No one responded because no one understood what was happening. Outside, the sky thundered and a boy next to me squealed in surprise.

"What did you leave outside?" We all turned to Lilli.

Emily was as shocked as all of us to hear her talk, but answered promptly, "My lunchbox!"

No one knew what to say, and no one offered to go get it because spending even a second outside would get you soaked.

With a loud hmph, Emily was out the door and racing down the corridor to go get her lunchbox. Lilli jumped up, chasing after her with an umbrella.

The entire class, along with the teacher, leapt up to crowd around the front door, waiting for them to return, shuffling our cold feet.

I was tempted to go outside too, but just when I had managed to squeeze through my classmates, Emily and Lilli appeared at the door, hand-in-hand, Emily holding her beloved lunchbox, and Lilli with her neglected umbrella, seemingly drier than both of them.

We all expected Lilli to lose it, start yelling at Emily for being so careless, but they turned towards each other… and laughed.

"I've lost my dinosaur keyring!"