11. Potions

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, and blah-blah-blah.

Note: 30 reviews for chapter 10! All time high! Thank you to everyone who dropped a line! Sorry it took so long to get this chapter posted. Real Life got crazy last week, what with two of my best friends moving to Austalia (from the US). Anyway, hope to get chapter 12 out soon to make up for it.

ooo

Chapter 11 - Potions

Another two weeks passed in the same manner – Hermione worked all the time, Harry and Draco trained all the time, and they barely saw each other.

On the Friday of the second week, Hermione was sitting at her desk at the end of the day, looking through the list of Death Eater information Malfoy had given them months ago. A movement caught her eye and she looked up to see Seamus walking toward her. Since their first date, they had barely seen each other, only passing with slightly bigger smiles in the hallway, mostly on his part.

"Afternoon, Hermione," he said when he reached her desk.

"Hello, Seamus," she said brightly.

"I was wondering if I could cash in on that date tomorrow. What do you say to lunch in the park?"

She smiled. "That sounds lovely, I would like that."

He smiled finally; one of those big smiles, and it was obvious he'd been nervous about asking her out again. "Excellent. Are you coming in to work tomorrow?"

"Yes, I've got some things to finish up tomorrow morning."

"How about we meet by the Queen's Memorial in the park around noon?"

"Okay, noon it is. Should I bring anything?" she asked.

"No. We'll just have lunch at a café."

She smiled. "Tomorrow, then."

Seamus had been on his way out when he stopped by Hermione's desk, and so they walked to the lobby together, saying goodbye at the Apparation point. Hermione let Seamus think she was leaving for the night, but as she still had much work to do, she sighed and returned to her desk.

She stayed late at work again, poring through files the Ministry had on Death Eaters that were on the list from Malfoy. The Ministry didn't even know that a majority of the people on her list were Death Eaters, but the files were still helpful in some ways. At ten minutes to 11:00 pm, all the magical lights in the Ministry flickered, indicating to anyone still in the building that in ten minutes, the lights would go off for the night. Hermione rubbed her tired eyes and returned the files to their homes. She made her way to the lobby and Disapparated to the Edge, as she had come to call it.

Harry and Malfoy weren't in the house, and Hermione slowly climbed the stairs and was asleep two minutes after falling into her bed.

The next morning, Hermione slept late. She allowed herself the luxury of not rushing; she woke slowly, showered slowly, dressed slowly, then descended the stairs slowly. As she entered the kitchen, a strange smell hit her nose, and she found Malfoy standing over a large cauldron on the stove. Harry was at the table, reading.

"Morning, Harry!" she said brightly.

Hermione went to stand next to the stove and peered into the cauldron. A dark blue liquid was slowly boiling in large, Snitch-sized glops. Hermione stuck her finger into the warm liquid and then put her finger in her mouth.

"Mmm… Needs more pimph weed," she said casually. Then she fixed herself something for breakfast and sat down with Harry, all the while unaware that Malfoy was staring at her. After taking a few bites, she felt his stare, and looked up to see him gaping open-mouthed at her.

"Can I help you with something, Malfoy?" she asked, breezily.

"You just tasted an unknown potion, and from the looks of it, you didn't give one speck of thought to the potential consequences."

She grinned. "Pepper-Up Potion. Characteristic mixture of citrus, smoke and paint smells. Exhibits a dark navy blue color before the addition of newt-tail. Third year, Malfoy."

Draco narrowed his eyes at her. "The Ileus Expono Potion. Exhibits the same mixture of smells as Pepper-Up due to the similar ingredients. However, a fourth scent, of candle wax, is discernable only at certain temperatures. Also adopts a navy blue color in the process of brewing. And I'm sure you know what it does, don't you?"

Hermione nodded, looking slightly amused. The potion, which was a nasty one used only for malicious purposes, turned the intestine inside out. It was highly painful, and usually used for Dark purposes. "I am familiar with the Ileus Expono Potion and its less than pleasant effects, even when taken in small doses. However, Pepper-Up Potion gives a particular sensation when the fumes are inhaled directly; the Expono does not. A slight tingling sensation in the nose and sinuses manifests, causing the person to want to sneeze; it's the pepper. Therefore, I knew it was Pepper-Up, not the Expono." She gave Draco a satisfied smirk and resumed her breakfast.

Draco calmly put down the knife he'd been using and turned to face her. "When modifying Ileus Expono to remove its side effects, such as the characteristic wax smell at certain temperatures, or to make it effective when used externally, black pepper is added in the third step, while stirring counterclockwise four and a half times."

"Modified Expono, after the pepper is added, turns violet; your potion is still blue."

"It turns violet after the addition of the newt-tail at the very end of step three, which I am only just now chopping." Draco pointed to the half-chopped newt-tail on his cutting board.

"Only after the leech juice is added and the potion allowed to simmer for six hours is the Ileus Expono at full strength. In its current form, all that it would do is turn my hair pink."

Two pairs of eyes flicked to Hermione's perfectly brown head. Draco scowled at her. "Modified Expono does not change hair color at this stage. It would cause a small, star-shaped rash to appear on your right wrist."

Hermione looked at her wrist, then held it up for him to see. "No rash." She felt triumphant at last.

Draco looked intently at her. "My point, Granger, is that you shouldn't go around heedlessly tasting potions that are not of your own making." She started to speak, but he cut her off. "Furthermore, do not sample any potions I brew unless I give you explicit permission. I create and modify potions myself, and if I were brewing something of my own creation, there would be no way you could guess its ingredients, much less its effects."

Hermione's eyes widened. "I'm not stupid, Malfoy! I knew it was safe. I wouldn't just blunder about tasting unknown liquids!" She paused, and looked at him, unable to hide her curiosity. "You, uh, create your own potions?"

"Yes."

"How?" she asked, her face full of excitement. Gone was the spirit of competition and animosity that had been present only moments before. In their place was classic Hermione: inquisitive and eager to learn.

Harry, who had been silently watching the back and forth exchange between Draco and Hermione, laughed out loud, causing the other two to look at him.

"Sorry, Hermione. It's just – your face!"

For a brief moment, she thought she might have been wrong about the potion and something abnormal was going on with her face. Then she understood that he was laughing at her quick switch in attitude , she narrowed her eyes at him. "What about my face, Harry?" she asked, in a voice that said, don't you dare say another word or you'll regret it.

Harry stopped laughing and returned to looking pointedly at his plate.

Draco silently stirred his potion. After a few minutes passed in silence, he spoke. "It's simple, really. I've studied potion ingredients themselves. Their characteristics; behavior; basic properties. You can use the information to manipulate the ingredients in such a way as to achieve a desired end. I intend to adjust this Pepper-Up potion to last through an entire training session, allowing Harry to remain as alert as possible."

Harry watched as Hermione stared at the back of Draco's head, not really seeing what was in front of her. He knew his friend desperately wanted to ask more questions – he could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears. Probably hundreds of questions were streaming through her mind as she watched, unseeing, as Draco stirred his potion. Then he saw her eyes focus on Draco, narrow, and finally relax; a wave of sadness passed through them. She sighed heavily.

"Oh," she said, sounding uninterested. Harry frowned; that wasn't what he expected.

Draco caught her tone and turned to face her. He was going to say something, but Hermione was already standing.

"I'm going to work," she said, addressing Harry.

"Why?" he asked. "We have the day off."

"I have something to finish this morning for next week."

"Will you be back for lunch?" Harry asked, hopefully.

"Well, no," she said, fiddling with her bag. "I'm meeting Seamus for lunch."

"Oh," said Harry, obviously disappointed. "Well, can we maybe spend some time, just me and you, tomorrow?"

She smiled. "Of course, Harry!" She hugged him goodbye and left quickly.

The atmosphere in the kitchen sank by a few degrees after Hermione was gone. Harry had noticed that when Hermione said she'd be meeting Seamus, Draco's jaw clenched. And now, he was meticulously, methodically chopping ginger stems into identical portions. Every movement of his wrist was deliberate, his grip on the silver knife perfectly placed. Harry looked at Draco's eyes; they were intensely focused on his task, not wavering in the slightest. The skin between the stormy grey eyes was furrowed, further evidence of extreme concentration.

If Harry hadn't seen Draco chop potion ingredients before, he wouldn't have thought twice about his current methods. But he had, and he knew Draco Malfoy could perfectly chop ingredients with his eyes closed, one arm tied behind his back. Harry also noticed the lack of characteristic sneer at the display of friendship between Hermione and himself, as though Draco were oblivious.

Harry started to wonder if there was something going on inside Draco's head related to Hermione. After everything he'd been told, all of Draco's secrets, he came to the conclusion that it would be possible for something to grow, if not between them, then at least on Draco's part. Though Draco was adamant that such a thing was not possible, Harry remembered the flash of uncertainty and fear that passed through Draco's eyes when he'd said it. He seemed not to completely trust himself where Hermione was concerned, which was the most likely reason for his coldness and seeming disinterest in being civil. Yet there were times when it was so obvious that he cared about her; Harry wasn't sure how Draco reconciled the two in his head.

Once Draco was finished chopping, his body and mood relaxed. He added the ingredients to the boiling pot and turned to Harry.

"Potter. I am not the most astute when it comes to people's moods, but I felt something shift in our conversation. Can you tell me what was the matter with her?" he asked.

"I think," started Harry, cautious as to how to proceed exactly. "Knowing Hermione, that she really wanted to ask you to teach her about making potions and all that. After she asked you about a hundred questions, of course."

Draco looked into the now rolling potion. "Oh."

"And she realized that she would not be able to ask such a thing."

Draco shrugged. "She could ask."

"Would you do it?"

"There's no time," he said stiffly, stirring once.

"But if there was time, would you?"

Draco looked at Harry, an unreadable expression on his face. He seemed to think seriously about his answer. There were many things that would be different for them if there was time. They would not be where they were, doing what they were doing. And if he'd never made the offer to Harry, then Hermione would not have learned of his affinity for Potions, and would not have anything to ask in the first place. However, things were the way they were, and she did not ask. If she had asked, and there was time, his first instinct would be to say no, despite the niggling part of him that would scream for him to say yes.

"Perhaps," was all he said.

Harry was surprised. He had expected Draco to say no, and when he didn't, Harry was forced to think even more if perhaps there was something spinning in Draco's head.

ooo

Hermione met Seamus in St. James Royal Park by the Queen's Memorial. He smiled warmly and greeted her with a friendly hug. Then he held out an arm, which she accepted, and led her through the park, chatting amiably. Hermione had to force herself, at first, to pay attention to Seamus; her mind kept wandering back to potions ingredients and the many exciting possibilities that existed in a blank piece of parchment.

Eventually, the feeling passed, and she was able to focus completely on lunch with Seamus.

They made their way to an outdoor café in the park, where they ordered sandwiches, chips and ice cream for lunch. They ate in comfort, enjoying the crisp autumn air that was just beginning to hint of the coming winter.

After lunch, the pair continued through the park, finally stopping to rest on a bench under a large shade tree. After a moment of comfortable silence, Seamus nervously approached a subject he'd been anxious about and until then too nervous to broach.

"Anything on Harry?" he asked quietly.

Hermione sighed heavily. "No. It's been a month now." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Seamus, but I really don't want to talk about Harry. How's your work? I heard you have a new assignment, but I haven't heard what it is."

Seamus frowned. "Yes, I do actually. Since – " Harry, he started to say, but stopped just in time. "Well, it seems Shacklebolt feels that the Malfoy family is important enough to warrant the efforts of one whole Auror – me. Previously, each member of the family was handled by a different Auror, as one among their other cases. I took all three of their files from the other Aurors and my job is now the entire Malfoy family."

Hermione frowned. "All three of them? Why?"

"With the attack two weeks ago, the Ministry wants to know who Lucius wanted returned. And why there have been no further attacks or references to 'him'. Was the message intended for someone at the Ministry who would understand its meaning? If so, was 'he' returned, as Lucius demanded? The implications of this alone are – staggering.

"Then there's Draco – the slimy git. He could probably be the sole focus of an Auror, but he's been quiet lately. The Ministry believes he's working on something big." Seamus gave a slight chuckle. "And I'm supposed to figure out what that something is. Ha! With NO leads, not even a peep out of him in months." He shook his head. It was obvious to Hermione that Seamus' assignment was proving frustrating and fruitless because Draco was no longer causing trouble. "What about Narcissa?" she asked.

"She's – nothing. I keep her tailed, but all she does is stay at home. She never leaves; I suppose she has house elves do her shopping. Her sister comes to visit her sometimes."

Hermione shuddered at the thought. "Bellatrix." Narcissa reminded Hermione of an ice queen, pale, beautiful, and cold; a harsh winter's morning. Bellatrix was the opposite, though pale, she was dark and cruel. In all the times Hermione had seen the two women, Narcissa regarded her as less than human, holding her head up as if to catch raindrops in her nose; Bellatrix had taunted and glared and tried to kill her. Hermione would not wish to meet either woman in a dark alley.

Seamus shook his head. "No, the other one."

Hermione blinked, astonished. "Andromeda Tonks? Really?"

"Yes. I find it odd, really. Tonks was disowned from the Black family for marrying a Muggleborn."

"I know; it is odd. There's nothing else from her?"

"No. Absolutely nothing of interest. Of course, there could be something going on inside the house, but we can't get in there. I would give her less attention, but Kingsley feels she deserves the attention we're paying her. Seriously, the woman only leaves her home with Lucius, and they don't utter a word to each other from doorstep to carriage. Narcissa Malfoy is probably the biggest mystery of the three. I mean, we know father and son are evil, and, well, they're Death Eaters. But the mother – unpredictable."

"It sounds – fascinating."

"Tailing Lucius and trying to catch a wind of Draco's doings – it's tiring, and in the two weeks I've had the assignment, there's been absolutely nothing. Only Narcissa has been at all interesting."

"I'm sorry it's such a difficult task. Do let me know if there's anything I can do."

Seamus nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Hermione. Hey, enough work talk. Let's rent a boat, or bikes, or something."

After three more hours with Seamus in the park, Hermione returned to the Edge. Her mind was muddled with thoughts about Narcissa Malfoy, Lucius, and Seamus himself. The conversation they'd had about the Malfoy family was more interesting to her than anything else they'd talked about. Granted, most of their interaction was about nothing, and that was nice too. To think and talk about absolutely nothing that mattered. She felt refreshed as she moved through the empty house and up to her room. The refreshed feeling didn't last very long, however. As soon as Hermione was alone and she let herself think about her day, she felt a heavy weight on her mind. Before she and Seamus had parted, he asked her a question that she had dreaded, and hated to answer. Now it was bothering her, not only what he asked, but what her answer had been. She was quiet all through dinner, and sat, distracted, with Harry and Malfoy in the drawing room. She was biting her lip, frowning, and only barely pretending to read when Harry disrupted her.

"Hermione! Earth to Hermione!"

She snapped her head up to look at him, and she saw that both he and Draco were looking at her expectantly. "What?"

Harry chuckled and Draco rolled his eyes.

"Never mind," said Harry lightly. "It wasn't important." Then, "Hey, how was your lunch with Seamus? You were gone all day practically."

"Oh, fine," she said distractedly.

"Is that really all you're going to give me, Hermione? I can tell you've been distracted all evening. Is everything okay?" Harry asked.

Draco sat very still, even controlling his breathing so as not to make any sound whatsoever. He hoped they would forget he was in the room

Hermione sighed. "I just – I don't – I shouldn't." "Shouldn't what?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I don't know. I'm torn."

Harry moved to sit next to Hermione on the couch and put a comforting hand on her arm. "Talk to me, Hermione. What's going on?"

She looked into his concerned green eyes and Draco's wish was granted; she completely forgot he was in the room. "We had a nice time. Lunch was lovely, and then we rented a boat and went out on the lake. Then, as we were saying goodbye, he asked me if I felt anything for him, and the truth is, Harry, that I don't. I don't really feel anything for anyone. I barely feel something for you, and you're my best friend. I've been rigidly set on this course for so many years that I've forgotten how to let other things matter."

"Hermione, I know how much you've sacrificed for me. I don't like it that your entire life is completely on hold for me, but you were too stubborn to listen when I told you not to follow this path. Look at Ron – he got hurt; badly. And now he's finally recovering, getting back to normal, but it's been a year. He hasn't asked about returning to work, at least not before I left, and I don't think he's going to. Working at the Ministry was getting us nowhere in the fight against Voldemort. If he asked to return, to help me, I'm not sure what I would say. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. You are here because I know you're not going to be in direct danger, but Ron would want to fight, like me, and he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"But you've changed your whole life to work with me, to work for this cause. We thought working at the Ministry would be helpful to the Order, but there was so much – other stuff – that got in the way. Don't think I haven't noticed that you weren't happy. When Malfoy came to me, I saw a way to give you something better. I hope I didn't make a mistake."

"Harry, I would do it all the same again. I don't regret a single day. Sometimes it's just hard, realizing that so many people try to continue living a normal life and I can't. I haven't thought about – well, love, or romance, or any of that – since Ron, and that was years ago. All my efforts are focused on this War, and Voldemort, and you… there's no room or energy for anything else, especially romance. And Seamus is a really great guy, someone any girl would be lucky to be with. But I just can't. Not right now."

"That's not good!" he pleaded. "Even I haven't pushed love out of my life."

"But you've always had Ginny; and I always had Ron. Until, well, I didn't. And then I just felt alone, so incredibly alone, because I'd always counted on that happening, on that part working out like it was supposed to. When it didn't, I dove into becoming an Auror, and learning, and fighting, until I thought I could drive that pain away. I was finally starting to heal when – " Hermione stopped abruptly and turned to Draco, finally remembering his presence.

He looked up from his book, the same page he'd been on since she and Harry had started talking, and looked at her quizzically. "Yes?"

Hermione's only response was to glare at him; then she turned back to Harry. "Since you know what." Harry nodded.

"Since that, I'm just numb. Once all this is over, if it's ever over, I plan to finally un-pause my life."

"But Hermione," said Harry kindly, and somewhat impatiently. "You don't have to wait! I don't want you to! There's no telling how long this will go on, and I know how much you hurt, how much you try to keep me, and Ron, and Ginny, from seeing. If you allow yourself to start living a little now, I know it will help you get through this darkness. It's sure helped me."

Hermione cocked her head to one side and said, with a small grin on her lips, "Are you saying you want me to keep seeing Seamus?"

"I want you to be open to whatever might happen," he said cryptically.

"And what is that?"

"Nothing, just; something could come along, is all, and you shouldn't refuse it just because of me and the War."

Hermione chuckled bitterly. "What are the chances of that happening? Nothing's going to come along for me. I work 16 hours a day and come home to you, my best friend who's married, and – to him." She scrunched up her nose in displeasure at the thought. Her back was to him, so she didn't see Draco narrow his eyes at her over the top of his book. "When would I ever have time to meet someone, much less, get to know him, date him, and like him?"

"I don't know, Hermione. I'm not pushing, I'm just saying – be open."

She shook her head. "I can be open, Harry. I'm just not going to hold my breath, or try to force something. These things shouldn't be forced in the first place, much less because I'm feeling a little low. But I will take your advice and be open to – whatever. Though I'm not looking for anything. Okay? ."

"Okay," he said, "That sounds better. I truly hope something goes looking for you, though."

They were interrupted by a loud tapping sound on the window and all three of them looked to see a brown owl waiting to be admitted. Harry let the bird in and untied the letter, releasing the owl again.

"It's from Ginny. Excuse me." Harry left without another word or look.

Hermione sat frowning at the space Harry had just occupied. Draco watched her.

"Granger," he said, after he was sure she'd gnaw her lip raw.

"Hmm?" she said, looking at him with a lost expression.

"I've got some books on potions ingredients you could borrow. If you want."

Hermione's eyes lit up, and Draco found he much preferred them that way over the deep sadness that had filled them moments earlier.

"Really?"

"Sure," he said, shrugging. "I barely even need them anymore."

She continued chewing her lip. "Uhm, thanks?" she said, hesitantly.

"Whatever. Just don't lose them. Or mess them up. Or fold the spine. Or fold the pages. Or write in them – only I write in my books."

"Malfoy, you forget who you're talking to. I daresay your books will be in better condition when I return them." She paused, eyes sparkling. "IF I return them"

"When," he said firmly, a hint of amusement – just a hint – lacing his eyes.

She smiled and without a word, left for the porch.

ooo

A/N: Thank you for reading! I can't wait to hear what each and every one of you thought about this chapter... :)