20. Chapter 20
CARINA’S POV
-Do you really think this is necessary, Bambina? – I asked as we entered the building.
-Carina, you can have all the most beautiful maternal instincts since you were a child, you were probably the kind of girl who fake-breastfed your dolls, I was never that child and now I'm going to have a child. I need parenting classes! – She argued opening the door of the room marked on the website that she had found a few days ago and I saw a few more couples already distributed at some tables.
-Do people really do this in the United States? – I whispered to her.
- Doesn't that exist in Italy? – She asked back also in whispers, signaling a table for us to approach.
-If there is, I'm not at all familiar with it. People I've lived with have always felt that we should go with the flow with things and that we didn’t need classes preparing us to be mothers. – I shrugged and rubbed my belly a few times, trying to calm the baby swirling inside my uterus. – And now that you're talking, your daughter is kicking all my organs.
-Oh, now she's my daughter? – Maya arched an eyebrow with a relaxed smile on her lips. She reached down and rubbed my stomach. – Princess, you need to stop kicking your Mamma's organs, or she'll be upset with me.
-It's not helping, she just gets more agitated when you talk to her. – I sighed, placed both my hands on my spine to support the extra weight of my belly.
-26 weeks. – Maya kissed my belly. – Only 14 weeks to go.
-If she's not rushed like you and wants to make an appearance ahead of time. – I joked and she rolled her eyes.
-You better not do that, princess! I would hate to waste the first few hours of your labor being stuck putting out some fire. – Maya whispered to my belly, and I saw some amused looks at the scene, I couldn't help but join the other smiles.
We waited a few more minutes – of course Maya made us leave the house earlier than we had to and we were early – and then the instructor appeared with some helpers, they distributed dolls, diapers, blankets, pacifiers, baby bottles and finally yoga balls and mats.
-Good morning, first-time parents! My name is Chiara, and we'll be together this morning to develop some skills. – An oriental woman introduced herself to the class and asked us to speak our names.
Maya watched the other couples carefully and I had to nudge her a few times to get her to stop staring and grimacing at people she used to call "disgustingly straight couples." There were two other LGBT couples besides the two of us – well, one of them was a gay couple with a woman who could be their surrogate and the other couple was also two women, one of whom was clearly giving birth before me.
-You two, please? – Chiara caught our attention.
-Uh, my name is Carina, and this is my wife, Maya. I am actually an OBGYN, and Maya is a firefighter. – I introduced us as all couples had done before.
-That puts you two in some advantages in terms of childbirth and safety measures, I imagine. – Maya smiled proudly, and I followed her smile.
More presentations were made and then the first task started.
-First, we'll start with the childbirth exercises. – Chiara grabbed one of the yoga balls beside her. – Childbirth is something physiological and that initially was done in a squatting position so that gravity could serve as an ally; nowadays you can give birth however you like, but the most important thing is that your pelvic floor is strong and somewhat relaxed for this moment. Yoga balls are meant to help with this process.
One of Chiara's assistants sat on one of the balls as she positioned herself behind her.
-Bouncing on the ball helps with this relaxation, you can also lean against it to move your body back and forth, massaging your belly. – She explained and the assistant demonstrated both.
-Do you still think this is necessary? I absolutely know everything she is talking about. – I whispered close to Maya's ear.
-But I don’t! Quiet, I'm paying attention. – Maya replied and I rolled my eyes, sighing heavily.
-It is extremely important that the person who is accompanying the pregnant woman is a point of support and comfort during these hours. – Chiara spoke again, and Maya nodded intensely to the woman's words, a crease right in the middle of her forehead indicating all her focus. – Let's practice a little.
Maya picked up the yoga ball and held it in front of me.
-Is this really necessary?
-Just sit down, Carina! – Maya rolled her eyes at me, and I sat on the ball, starting to bounce, and looking at her with a "is this good enough for you?" look on my face. – Great, and now I'll be your support point.
-I bet it won't be with this calmness that you will be my support point during my labor. – I joked and she laughed softly. – That's actually a little fun.
-I bet it won’t be fun when our baby tries to get out of your vagina while bouncing on a yoga ball. – She teased back, and I held back the laugh too late and it escaped through my nose, making Maya laugh too.
A few reproachful looks were directed at both of us, and Maya just stared at me, silently asking me to control myself. I took a few deep breaths before shifting to the support position, getting on my knees behind the ball and leaning over it, resting my belly against the silicone.
Maya placed each knee on the side of my legs and her hands on my back, helping me roll back and forth – my ass occasionally bumping against her hips.
-It’s taking a lot of self-control not to make a dirty joke right now. – I said, turning my face to face her.
-You're terrible, Dr. Deluca. – She shook her head.
-It's Dr. Deluca-Bishop for you. – I winked seductively at her and earned a smile.
After that Chiara made us practice the Kegel exercises and Maya helped me whenever necessary, she was really committed to learning and helping, and this made me more comfortable to get involved in the class as she wanted.
-Crushed ice and cool towels against foreheads are also things that can help with the pregnant woman's relaxation process. – Chiara spoke. – Dr. Deluca, any other common forms of relaxation during childbirth you’d like to share with us?
-Oh, God... – Maya said, blushing immediately.
-Orgasms. – I shrugged; it was not a big deal for me to talk about such a thing. – I did a study on female orgasm and part of it was directed to how the release of oxytocin through orgasm helped to minimize labor pains and help with its progression, often increasing contractions making labor faster.
-Oh, well... I didn't know that. – Chiara's eyes widened and some of the wives looked at me enthusiastically. – But it’s a study that I will certainly read for the next class.
Maya kept blushing violently beside me.
-Americans are so prude. – I teased her.
-Shut up. – She said back laughing nervously.
-Now that we've gone through the stages of childbirth, let's do some exercises with the dolls. – Chiara took her doll and placed it on the table in front of her, Maya mimicked her movement and intertwined her fingers before stretching and snapping them as if she was about to start a very challenging task. – First, the most basic, diaper change.
Maya had changed pee diapers before – even grudgingly – and she did most of the steps correctly, except for the part about using the baby wipes.
-You want to wipe the baby from the genitals to the butt. – I explained – That way we reduce the possibility of UTI in the baby. Since we’re having a girl, we need to be extra careful.
-Oh, I didn't know that. – Maya spoke and wiped the doll in the correct way. – Like this?
-Yes! – I nodded and she smiled. – And if it's a poop diaper, you want to first remove the excess with the front of the diaper, passing through the butt and then wiping the baby’s butt. Minimizes your work.
-See? This class has been very important to me. – My wife muttered beside me.
-I could explain all this to you at home. Naked. In bed. – I whispered against her ear.
-Talking about changing a baby's diaper isn't necessarily the best pillow talk. – Maya whispered back, and I nibbled her ear, taking advantage of the proximity of my lips.
-I think I can make anything become pillow talk. – I contradicted my wife and she laughed softly.
-I don’t doubt it for a second.
Then Chiara told us about how important it was not to leave blankets inside the crib to avoid suffocating the baby and Maya also warned the class about the danger of leaving electrical outlets near cribs, earning nods of understanding from the other couples.
-Those are simple folds. – Chiara explained, demonstrating some blanket folds with her doll and I confess that this part needed my attention.
-Why can't we just roll up the baby like a burrito? – Maya asked softly, and I shrugged.
-I also thought we would just roll the baby like a burrito. – I whispered back.
-Apparently you don't know everything. – She arched her eyebrows mocking me.
-Stai zitta! – I rolled my eyes, urging her to shut up and Maya laughed.
We took turns – Maya and I – in an attempt to reproduce the blanket folds Chiara had demonstrated a few times.
-I think I got it. – Maya said and lifted the doll to show me, but in the process the doll escaped from the underside of the blanket and fell to the ground.
-I really, really, hope you don't do this to our daughter! – I spoke between laughs and Maya huffed in frustration.
-Do you need help? – Chiara asked approaching our table.
-Quite a lot. – I nodded to the woman.
I confess that the patience she had with us warmed my heart, she showed us each fold step by step and demonstrated our mistakes so we could correct them, after a few minutes we had succeeded in all the different ways to wrap a baby.
The part related to bottles and pacifiers didn't demand much from us, Maya still remembered how to check if the milk was too hot by putting a few drops on her forearm and had also made sure to buy all kinds of pacifiers for the baby.
-I bought the smallest and cutest pacifier! There's a fire truck on its front! – Maya whispered to me.
-What? Why didn't you show me? – I asked.
-It hasn't arrived yet, I had to order it. – She shrugged and smiled at the thought that Maya had gone to the trouble of ordering a personalized pacifier.
-I loved the idea, I'm sure it's cute. – I kissed her cheek affectionately.
-Let's go to the bath part. – Chiara clapped her hands to draw our attention back to her. – Baby baths are in the back of the room, get your dolls.
We went to the baby baths and knelt, leaving it between the two of us.
-Supporting your baby's head for the first few months of life is critical, most baby baths currently come with a back support, but make sure you support your baby's head. – Chiara explained and Maya immediately put a hand behind the doll's head. – You don't need a lot of water; it should be warm and glycerin soaps help keep your baby's skin hydrated. Rubbing the baby's head with a brush is important to remove the cradle cap, but it must be done very carefully because of the baby's fontanelles.
-Oh God, I had forgotten about that part! – Maya widened her eyes. – I won't be able to deal with our baby's head practically open, Carina! Can you give the princess baths for the first few months?
-You will learn to deal with fontanelles, Maya.
-I change each bath for a poop diaper. – She tried to negotiate and ended up making me laugh.
-No, as tempting as your offer is, you will need to bathe our baby. I promise that I will be with you in the beginning, and I will help you. – I said patting her arm.
More instructions were given about bathing and about making sure not to let foam fall into the baby's eyes.
-How the hell am I supposed to hold the baby's head, rub her head, rinse, and not let foam fall into her eyes all at the same time? – Maya hissed through her teeth.
-You'll get the hang of it, Maya! – I laughed and demonstrated to her a few times how to do all that.
-You're much better at this than I am. – She commented.
-And you're much better at build baby stuff. We complete each other. – I spoke back, not wanting any kind of anxiety to start crawling inside my wife's brain. – We help each other, right?
-Right. – She nodded solemnly.
At the end of class Chiara congratulated everyone and Maya made a point of clearing some doubts with her after people started leaving. I waited patiently for my wife and after a few minutes she joined me at the back of the room, holding my purse in one hand.
-So? Was it as bad as you thought? – She asked me.
-Not as bad as I imagined. – I confessed and she smiled. – But I'm glad we did it together if it calmed you down and made you safer.
-It really did. Thank you, Car. – I got a kiss on the cheek next.
…
I was washing the few dishes of breakfast one Saturday morning when I felt the muscles in my stomach involuntarily contract with such strength that it scared me. The glass slipped from my hand and fell to the floor, glass flew to the four corners of the kitchen, and I widened my eyes, bringing my soapy hands to my stomach and gasping.
-Carina! – Maya yelled, running to the kitchen. – What happened? Don't move, there's glass all over the floor, I'll get the broom.
-I'm having a contraction. – I spoke mechanically still staring at my belly.
It was a very strange feeling and even though I had been telling my patients for almost ten years how this was normal and to be expected at 28 weeks' gestation, I was not at all ready to experience it.
-What? – Maya yelled and took an involuntary step towards me. – Fuck!
The contraction went away just as it came, without warning.
The curse caused me to look at my wife and I saw the red starting to stain the white sock she wore as Maya came towards me with wide eyes in panic, not caring about the obvious painful cut on her foot.
-Are you having contractions? But you're only 28 weeks pregnant, is it time yet? We don't have a baby bag, Carina! – The blue eyes were about to pop out of their sockets, Maya's hands were over mine.
-It wasn't a painful contraction, probably just Braxton Hicks. – I explained and took a deep breath. – But it scared me. I wasn't ready to experience contractions. I talk so much about it with my patients, but I wasn’t ready.
-Are you sure? – Maya stared at me. – Are you 100% sure?
-I'm sure, Maya! – I nodded. – It was just like they say in the books, for a short period of time, painless, it started abruptly and went away without further symptoms.
She lifted her bloodied foot and pulled a small piece of glass that was stuck to her skin.
-Okay, go to the bathroom and wash your feet with soap. I'll meet you there in a second.
-No, there's glass all over the place, you can cut yourself. – She said back.
-I'll be careful, I promise. – I spoke and nodded to encourage her to do what I suggested.
Maya looked intently at the floor and hopped on one foot to the other side of the kitchen, before limping towards the bathroom in our bedroom.
I grabbed the broom and started sweeping the pieces of glass that were strewn towards a corner of the kitchen.
-My body is already getting ready to kick you out, piccolina. – I laughed at the thought and rubbed my belly. – I can't wait to meet you.
Once all the glass was in one corner I went to Maya in the bathroom, she was still washing her foot with plenty of soap, and I got the first aid kit.
-Wrap your foot in a towel. – I asked and went to the bed, I sat on the edge. – Lie down on the floor and put your foot in my lap, it will help reduce the bleeding.
My wife did what I asked quite automatically and without speaking a single word. I applied a painless antiseptic over the wound and put a healing ointment over the cut – which thank God wasn’t too deep – before putting gauze and bandaging the foot.
-A penny for your thoughts? – I asked, closing the bandage with a piece of tape.
-I thought you didn't like that expression. – She finally contradicted focusing her eyes on my face.
-I don’t. But you are worrying me a little. – I shrugged and got up off the bed, leaning her foot against the mattress before bending over a little and placing one hand on the floor, turning awkwardly to try to sit next to Maya. – Can you help a pregnant woman?
Maya laughed at my request and reached out for me to brace myself, and then I lay down on the floor beside her, lying on my side and putting my head on her chest trying to minimize the inevitable shortness of breath that came with the gigantic belly I sported.
-When you told me you were having a contraction for a second, I freaked out and realized that I'm not at all ready to have a baby here, in the real world, with us. – She whispered running her fingers up and down my back.
-I'm not either. – I confessed. – I joked about knowing everything about births, but the truth is I'm terrified. I've been talking about Braxton Hicks contractions for years and today, feeling it for the first time in my life, I realized that theory is worthless when you're having the actual experience. Well, maybe having medical knowledge calms me down a bit, but my body reacts irrationally, rationality only comes later. When I think that maybe all my knowledge about childbirth won't help me at all when I'm howling in pain, I get anxious and scared.
-Are you serious? – She asked turning her face to look at mine, and I lifted my eyes to meet hers. I nodded gently. – I didn't want you to feel that way, I just know you'll do an excellent job, but if we're being honest, it comforts me a little to know that I'm not the only one freaking out.
-You're not the only one freaking out. – I assured rubbing her belly. – Promise me you'll be there? No matter what?
-No matter what happens, Carina... I'll be there. I promise. – She kissed my forehead and I smiled.
We would be okay.