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Warhammer 40K: I Don’t Want to Be a Tin Can!

This is a translation- Original Author: Night Tales by a Dim Lamp In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war. The Emperor walks among men, striving to restore the glory of the Imperium. Yet, the fate of humanity has long been toyed with by the malevolent Chaos Gods. In this tumultuous future, there is naught but endless darkness and warfare. That is, until the appearance of a Deathwatch Marine named Hades. As the threads of destiny intertwine, can this outsider change the tragic fate that awaits countless souls? The gods place their bets. Yet, Hades remains oblivious to all of this. At present, he's weeping like a snotling that's had its toe stepped on. "Emperor's mercy! Why am I in the Warhammer universe?!" "And why in Terra's name am I a Deathwatch Marine?!" "Is it too late to bash my head in and respawn?!" A comedic tale where a nerdy, unserious protagonist finds himself in the grimdark Warhammer world, oscillating between moments of sheer terror and bouts of uncontrollable sobbing.

Read_and_Chill · Book&Literature
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Chapter 89: Wolves and Hounds, You Say I Stink?

In the expansive common area, groups of interstellar warriors gathered, chatting amongst themselves.

As Hades entered the hall, many eyes turned to him. Some gazes were as sharp as unsheathed swords, while others were more discreet, filled with curiosity.

Through the insignias on their shoulder pads, Hades could identify their respective legions.

The first to greet him were the Wolf and the Hound.

From the crowd of the Shadowmoon Wolves and the Warhounds, two figures rose and approached Hades, offering a courteous greeting to their new brother.

"Welcome, friend of the Death Guard."

The one bearing the emblem of the Shadowmoon Wolves spoke, "We are pleased to hear of the return of your Primarch. Our Lord Horus has long hoped to meet his new brother."

Before Hades could respond, the other interjected, "Another Primarch's return. I've been eagerly awaiting our father."

With a mix of envy and determination in his eyes, the Warhound, Peres, looked at Hades, "Forgive my forwardness, but your father must be a noble figure."

"Peres," the Shadowmoon Wolf, Sandran, softly chided his brother. They shouldn't be making such presumptions.

From the information Sandran had gathered, the newly formed Death Guard were known for their silence. And the rumors about their Primarch, who once served the Twilight Raiders, were not optimistic.

They said the newly discovered Mortarion was a unique Primarch.

Death incarnate.

That was the unanimous description by the historians. It was rare, as these lorekeepers, often fond of grandeur, would typically use terms like demigod, angel, or king.

So, Peres's earlier comment could easily be seen as a provocation or something similar.

But Sandran knew it wasn't their fault.

Rumors had begun circulating within the Warhounds that their Primarch was dead due to his prolonged absence.

Before the discovery of their Primarch, the Warhounds had a good relationship with the Twilight Raiders. Both legions, known for their strict discipline, collaborated well.

But now, Sandran, with a hint of an apologetic smile, looked at Hades.

Hades, a warrior from the Primarch's homeworld, hopefully wouldn't misinterpret Peres's words.

But warriors often reflect the temperament of their Primarchs.

If the rumors were true...

Damn, if only the Ultramarine Orlus was here. Although Sandran wasn't fond of their distant yet gentle smiles, they were natural diplomats. Even their Tech-Priests had a knack for diffusing tense situations.

"Ah? Hahaha, our Chapter Master is indeed a unique Primarch. He cares deeply for us. Every Primarch is a symbol of nobility. But compared to being noble, our Chapter Master might be more... down-to-earth?"

Sensing Sandran's concerns, Hades laughed it off.

Down-to-earth, Hades swore, was the most ironic joke he'd ever made.

But for the sake of the legion's reputation, sorry Mortarion!

To be honest, Mortarion was quite approachable to the Death Guard of Barbarus.

However...

Hades glanced at Peres, deep in thought.

Could Angron be saved? No, could the Warhounds be saved?

Sandran was surprised by Hades's casual response.

Could the new Primarch be someone with high charisma?

Sandran mentally noted this and continued his conversation with Hades.

But this Death Guard seemed easy-going, Sandran thought.

Unlike those ever-smiling Ultramarines, this Death Guard seemed more relaxed, not minding minor details or slips in conversation.

Other warriors, studying or chatting at other tables, occasionally glanced over.

But before their conversation could continue, a figure who had been sleeping in the corner suddenly woke up and quickly approached.

Pushing past the Warhound and the Wolf, he leaned in, sniffing.

"Brother, why do you stink so much?"

"I was woken up by the smell."

His fangs bared, the Space Wolf commented.

Sandran and Peres watched in shock as the previously jovial Hades's expression darkened instantly.

"The dueling cage."

"Now. Immediately."

Hades's face was stormy. Did he really smell? He couldn't detect any odor on himself. Had the other two also smelled the toxic scent?

Although most Barbarus warriors carried respirators mixed with Barbarus's toxic air, he never did!

Damn it, no one, NO ONE, calls me stinky!

The instructions from the Forge Master Enrik were momentarily forgotten.

Watching the dejected Death Guard Hades and the gleeful Space Wolf Manning, who clearly provoked the fight for fun, Sandran silently wiped sweat from his brow.

So, the smell was the Death Guard's breaking point? It was peculiar, especially when comments that could mock their Primarch were brushed off so easily.

But indeed, as the Space Wolf Manning pointed out, there was a faint toxic scent on Hades.

Perhaps it was a custom from their homeworld?

Unbeknownst to Hades, respecting the scent of the Death Guard was a strange custom adopted by the Tech-Priests on Mars. It would be taken back to their legions and celebrated.

In the dueling cage, the howls of the Wolf were constant.

"Arghhhhh!"

Hades pinned Manning down, one arm choking him, the other preventing him from reaching his nearby axe.

When Manning's struggles weakened, Hades released him. Standing up, he pulled the Wolf to his feet.

The oxygen-deprived Wolf swayed for a moment, then burst into laughter.

"You can fight! Brother, you might stink a bit, but you're way better than those who spray themselves with fragrances!"

Leaning on Hades, Manning whispered, "Good brother of the Death Guard, I've stashed some booze. Let's have a drink."

Damn, those mechanical freaks don't like the Wolf drinking.

Manning had invited others for drinks before. Only the Shadowmoon Wolves and the Ultramarines, who always talked about "inter-legion harmony," had accepted.

But drinking with them was, in two words, boring!

Now, with his senses returning, Hades remembered Enrik's instructions.

"Ah, maybe—"

The Wolf, with even more force than in their duel, pulled Hades along.

"Enough talk, let's go!"

The other warriors, who had come to watch the duel, silently mourned for the new Death Guard.

The last one to be tricked this badly was one of the Emperor's Children.

Space Wolves rarely followed the unique forging path of their legion on Mars, making Manning's presence rare.

This led to Manning's boredom, often challenging others to fights or drinks.

Almost every Tech-Priest on Mars had faced Manning.

But the fact that this Death Guard defeated Manning so quickly...

For a moment, unbeknownst to Hades, his reputation soared.

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