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Warhammer 40K: I Don’t Want to Be a Tin Can!

This is a translation- Original Author: Night Tales by a Dim Lamp In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war. The Emperor walks among men, striving to restore the glory of the Imperium. Yet, the fate of humanity has long been toyed with by the malevolent Chaos Gods. In this tumultuous future, there is naught but endless darkness and warfare. That is, until the appearance of a Deathwatch Marine named Hades. As the threads of destiny intertwine, can this outsider change the tragic fate that awaits countless souls? The gods place their bets. Yet, Hades remains oblivious to all of this. At present, he's weeping like a snotling that's had its toe stepped on. "Emperor's mercy! Why am I in the Warhammer universe?!" "And why in Terra's name am I a Deathwatch Marine?!" "Is it too late to bash my head in and respawn?!" A comedic tale where a nerdy, unserious protagonist finds himself in the grimdark Warhammer world, oscillating between moments of sheer terror and bouts of uncontrollable sobbing.

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Chapter 86: Malcador is Working Overtime Today

The fabric banner hung limply, casting uneven shadows under the dim light, moving with its folds.

Inside the Death Guard's conference room, several captains and the council sat around a table.

Mortarion sat at the head, listening intently to the report from Barasin.

The reorganization of the Death Guard's council was nearly complete. Fernando had been appointed as the leader of the newly established "Pallbearers." The title of Chief Councilor was renamed to "Lamplighter," and the Pallbearers would move to the floor below the original council's library as a warning.

The newly established "Gravekeepers" would be led by the former Seventh Company Captain Garo. The team consisted mostly of moderate and neutral veterans. Some of the Barbarus-born who had performed well and remained rational after experiencing the illusion were also incorporated into this team as temporary members.

The former Seventh Company Captain was replaced by Blanca.

The arrangement for the Barbarus-born squads had been finalized, mostly consistent with the original rookie training divisions. However, some from Barbarus volunteered for the Seventh Company, totaling less than five hundred.

Vox was transferred to the First Company, serving under Barasin.

Mortarion was aware of the subtle negotiations and power plays among these Terra-born.

In the past, he would have dismissed such behind-the-scenes maneuvers, relegating those involved to the periphery.

But now, with the dark future looming, every warrior had their role to play, even if Mortarion was somewhat displeased.

So, he remained silent, deliberately watching as these veterans communicated with him through Hades.

If Hades knew what Mortarion was thinking, he'd lament that his elder brother still wasn't listening.

As for Hades' position, he was currently the only "Untouchable" in the Death Guard. So, Mortarion simply didn't assign him a position, instead incorporating him directly into the Death Shroud.

Once the Death Guard found more "Untouchables," they would begin forming a squad for Hades to lead.

The Death Shroud, Mortarion's personal guard. He had selected five guards from Barbarus to form his defense squad.

These soldiers, clad in Terminator armor, would become Mortarion's scythe.

Mortarion remembered Hades' surprise when he announced the composition of the Death Shroud.

"Ah, why only five?"

Mortarion had two spots he wanted to fill with "Untouchables."

"I—"

But before he could speak, Hades interrupted him.

"Why not seven?"

"Why would you think I'd have seven guards?"

This caught Hades off guard. "Well, considering your obsession with the number seven..."

But reading Mortarion's tone and phrasing, Hades decided against that line of thought. "So, why then?"

In truth, on Barbarus, there was some knowledge of numerology, which had been monopolized by the alien overlords.

Compared to books teaching torture for sacrifices, Mortarion preferred numerology.

Seven was a beautiful number, like a scythe, the loneliest prime number under ten.

Sometimes, love and habits had no reason.

But now, Mortarion glanced at Hades, who was feigning ignorance.

"Just five, not seven."

Hades wouldn't know that in a peculiar way, he had ended Mortarion's choice of seven.

Barasin's report continued, with the feedback for each task aligning with Mortarion's expectations.

Time ticked by, and the report on the Death Guard's reorganization was about to conclude—

A servitor, draped in alternating green and white robes, entered. Unlike regular servitors, this one had a thin gold trim on its robe, signifying its uniqueness.

It knelt before Mortarion, presenting a slender cylindrical box adorned with golden patterns, with the Imperial Aquila shining on top.

The other captains and those receiving assignments held their breath, bowing their heads in deference.

Typically, after the initial integration period of a legion, the Emperor would assign a respected Primarch to guide and integrate them into the Primarch circle.

Typically, it would be Horus of the Luna Wolves, the "first" Primarch discovered, who would mentor the new Primarchs. His humble and kind demeanor left a deep impression on the Death Guard.

They hoped the letter's content was the Emperor's request for their Primarch to learn from Horus, and not... something else.

Perhaps Mortarion and the Barbarus-born weren't entirely aware, but for Chief Commander Barasin, this letter had arrived a bit early. Considering the time it took for information to travel from Terra, plus administrative processing time, the letter's dispatch coincided with their experience of the illusion.

"No, it can't be," Barasin thought.

If it were the worst-case scenario, they'd be facing more than just a letter.

Mortarion frowned, removing his usual combat gloves and barehandedly took the sealed letter from the servitor. Recognizing the gene-code of the Death Guard's Primarch, a thin seam opened on the golden box, revealing a parchment tied with gold thread.

Impatiently, Mortarion untied the thread and unfolded the parchment.

The Emperor's personal golden seal and Malcador's insignia flashed at the end of the letter.

After a long pause, Mortarion finally spoke.

"I am... requested to go to Terra immediately."

Barasin looked up, "Lord Primarch, should the legion prepare to return immediately?"

"No, I alone will go."

"They... will send a fleet this afternoon, Terra standard time at four. Open the hidden port on the right side of the *Endurance* at that time."

Under his hood, Mortarion's expression was inscrutable.

"Barasin, now, have all soldiers return to their quarters, on alert."

Mortarion suddenly added another command.

"Keep the forge running as usual, and all departments that interact with the legion should maintain normal operations."

"Also, the envoys wish to see Hades."

By noon, Terra standard time at twelve.

"Vox, don't be nervous."

In the familiar room with its familiar scent, only Barasin, Garo, and Fernando were present.

Hades blinked, the mechanical clock ticking slowly.

"So, Mortarion is going to Terra alone, and the legion remains here for training?" Hades asked.

Barasin nodded, "Also, the envoys from Terra wish to see you."

Hades thought about the worst-case scenario. If it was about the illusion, then the envoys were likely here to check their purity.

But for Hades himself, the only thing he wasn't sure about was the Imperium's stance on him. They wouldn't execute the instigator of the event, would they?

He imagined his own obituary. He had bled for the Imperium, served the Emperor. No, they wouldn't!

At most, they'd send him to Terra for hard labor.

Setting those thoughts aside, Hades decided to give Barasin a warning.

He looked at Barasin, "Keep a close eye on Calas."

Meanwhile...

In the familiar room, Mortarion sat in the relatively small conference room, expressionless, looking at Vox across from him.

He had also called Morlag, who was initially assigned to the Death Sh

roud.

"Morlag, you'll be in charge of the Death Shroud."

Morlag was surprised, "Lord Primarch, isn't Hades—"

Mortarion interrupted, "Hades will be busy."

Vox, who had been silent, finally spoke, "Lord Primarch, I have a request."

Mortarion looked at him, "Speak."

Vox took a deep breath, "I wish to go to Terra with you."

Mortarion was silent for a moment, then nodded, "Very well."

The room was silent, the weight of the upcoming journey to Terra heavy in the air.

Outside, the Death Guard continued their training, unaware of the storm brewing on the horizon.

Chapter 86, Part 2

"In the coming period, the Deathwatch will need to allow a squad of Silent Sisters to be stationed on the perimeter of the *Endurance*."

"Agreed."

Mortarion nodded.

Having the Untouchables linger on the *Endurance* was something Mortarion hoped for. However, he still wished to establish his own team of Untouchables.

Seeing Mortarion's agreement, Malcador lowered his hand. "Then, proceed to Terra, Mortarion. There, you will need further instruction."

"Of course."

Malcador's expression turned grave. "It is also His will."

The heavy footsteps faded as the Custodians led the Primarch away, with the remaining captains following in procession.

The lined-up Silent Sisters, under the guidance of Barasin, departed to discuss their upcoming duties.

Yet, in the meeting room, the golden cube intermittently projected Malcador's image. His hawkish eyes fixed on Hades, who still stood there. By Hades's account, there was a certain begrudging admiration in Malcador's gaze now.

After the Primarch's departure, Malcador seemed to drop the formalities.

"You, outsider."

Hades shuddered.

*Outsider? He knows I'm not of this world?*

As if reading Hades's thoughts, Malcador's voice continued, "Mind your tongue."

The old man looked at Hades with a mix of exasperation and anger. "I've seen many, of all kinds, and managed numerous talents."

"But you, Hades."

"You are the first I've seen to be both so brilliant and so foolish."

Why did the Emperor choose him?

Malcador knew that the Emperor, being human, could make mistakes. But that was also the reason for Malcador's existence. At this point, Malcador sighed lightly.

Revealing his closely guarded secrets to a progeny might not necessarily be a bad thing.

Next, Malcador would ascertain whether Mortarion could handle this information.

If not... "Never mind."

He looked at the main culprit. "Now, contact the Deathwatch's Master of the Forge. Have him recommend you for a position as a Techmarine on Mars."

"?"

"And, do not disclose anything that transpired on the Deathwatch, including our meeting."

Not all of the Mechanicum welcomes the Imperium.

"Store these memories in your left brain. The Mechanicum won't detect them."

Hades was still confused, but Malcador's patience seemed to have been exhausted during his conversation with Mortarion. With a hum, the already intermittent projection abruptly ended.

Huh?

The door opened, and a Silent Sister entered, taking away the golden cube.

Leaving Hades utterly bewildered.

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*Thanks to the great Lord Xianxian Que! I'll do my best!!*

*Thanks to the great Lord Shanyi Shuiling! I'll keep pushing!!*

*(Note: Current debt situation, 3 main chapters + 2 side stories.)*

*Someone kindly informed me that the name "Gravekeeper" was taken by the Deathwatch Terminators. So, the struggling author had to brainstorm a new name overnight.*

*But then I thought, why not have the Terminator squad change their name? Please, I've tried my best with the naming (there might be related plot developments later).*

*Some organizational structures were also modified... Naming is truly a challenge for me.*

*The Commissar is the "Gravekeeper", the Think Tank is the "Funeral Escort", and the Chief Think Tank is the "Lamplighter".*

*Special thanks to Bvafn Clatzemann for the naming support.*

Just to reitterate the notes in the body of the chapter are usually not me unless I stated hello- translator here. all else is just the orginial notes from the author who's work I am translating.

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