Ask yourself why you never thought of leaving

(The previous day, Lisa's side)

Lisa had called Ayanda who is one of her friends and the one that she is most close to. Since she was in a very bad mood, they had decided that they should go grab a bite from one of her favorite food outlets. They met in the city center and got into the Food Hub, this outlet serves almost all tasty delicacies from around the country and their dishes are top-notch. Lisa wasn't in the mood to eat anything but that wasn't going to happen with Ayanda around.

"There is nothing wrong with being angry, but why would you want to go on hunger strike, what did your stomach do to you?"

"I am more than angry right now and, I doubt if the food is going to taste the same. It was a bad idea coming to this place, I need to relieve this anger and food will not help."

"You should have said that earlier, we can't change plans now, if you don't want to have something more solid get the best ice cream, (smirking) you can order a bucket if you want and I swear all your anger will be cooled down believe me."

(Annoyed) "Seriously?"

(Laughing) "I am just joking don't give me that look. I have an idea, how about we order some beer you can drink all your sorrows away."

(Cold and not having it anymore) "Ayanda, do you have a death wish?"

"Heh, I give up I do love my life and besides this pretty face can't leave this world too soon." (She said touching her face and pouting)

Lisa did not say anything more because if she did the conversation was going to go on and on, just like her the other party talks too much too. Ayanda then ordered a light dish since she had, had a meal earlier and Lisa went for the ice cream but it still wasn't helping she kept on sighing every time she shoved the spoon into her mouth.

"Your sighs are distracting my concentration and they are making this food taste a bit different."

Lisa ignored her and kept on eating her ice cream, which was unlike her because she always has got something to say. It then occurred to Ayanda that she had to help her friend let everything out otherwise it will be like a timing bomb in the future.

"So, when are you going to tell me what happened?"

(Not paying attention and avoiding the question) "Can I sleep over at your house, just for today?"

"Yeah, sure but that is after you have told me exactly what happened, (pointing at Lisa with her finger drawing a circle in the air) because the energy you are carrying is so bad and I wouldn't want that in my house."

(Sigh) "You know sometimes I wonder if you consider me as your close friend. I am having a hard time and here you are making fun of me and also saying harsh words. I came here so that you can cheer me up and help me get over what just happened today but you are adding more to the damage. I think after this ice cream I should better leave before I vent all my anger on you."

(Feeling guilty) "My apologies, I guess because I am too used to pulling your leg I do not know how to stop sometimes. Pardon me for not reading the situation properly."

"As much as friends do a lot of things including making fun of each other they shouldn't forget to respect one another it's very important."

"I am very sorry Lisa, but on the same note, I think you should let everything out before it chokes you because I can tell that you have it up to here," she said touching her neck.

What Ayanda had said made sense and after thinking about it for a few minutes she then put the ice cream bowl down, leaned on the chair, and looked in Ayanda's opposite direction. She then began to explain all the events that had occurred earlier and also how she had been feeling all this while until now.

"I understand how you feel, and I am deeply sorry but remember what I always tell you. Tasha needs time but it seems like you guys want to rush her. Yes, you did a good thing monitoring her, doing the best you can and giving Anne a heads up but if you think more about this you can also find out that you guys are not doing her any good…"

"What!" She said shouting.

"Calm down…"

(Furious) "Why is everyone telling me to calm down today, I should be calm for what? So, you mean I am to be blamed for someone who doesn't know how to control herself, very ungrateful and also…"

(Trying to be reasonable) "Please let me explain, we are in public and people are staring, this is not a movie just caIm down. Anyway, I think you are the best person to understand that Tasha is a patient…"

(Irritated) "' And you are also the best person to understand that I'm not a doctor…'

"Let me finish what I want to say, I know it's been long since she faced a lot of tragedies and you all want her to heal and move on. However, this can't be achieved at your own pace but hers only, right now just be there and do not push her."

(Sigh, wagging her head) "That won't do, her pace is slower than that of a tortoise and that means I am going to be stuck with her for the rest of my life."

By this time Ayanda had to stop eating, there was little food left on her plate and it had gotten cold.

(Pointing at Lisa and looking into her eyes) "That is where you are wrong, have you ever told her that you wanted to leave?"

"No, that never crossed my mind."

"Why?"

(Silent)

"Do not give me the answer now, I need you to do something for a week. First, put yourself into Tasha's shoes, and second, I need you to ask yourself again why you never thought of living all this while. Call me once you get the answer"

After those words, they then changed the topic, and after the meal, they spent the day in the city center doing window shopping and other relaxing activities until evening. Though what Ayanda had said was a bit confusing but spending a day with her finally paid off, she managed to get over what had happened earlier, her mood changed and even her pretty face had brightened.

(Current day Tasha's side)

The apology card that I had bought was white and written on the cover I messed up words in capital letters and a heart below. Then inside on the left side on top it was written I'm sorry in capital letters and single underlined. Below there was a broken heart and besides that heart, it was written:

"I want to turn this into", after into came an arrow that was pointing to another heart that wasn't broken, and beside it was written "this." Also, below those two hearts followed a message:

"I can't change what has happened, I only wish I could. I know I did the wrong thing though I realized it a bit late. I know it wasn't fair, but I never meant to hurt you. I am sorry for hurting you so many times, but I am kindly asking for another chance. I will try my best to be that friend you deserved, once again I'm sorry." On the right side, I then wrote my message which read.

"I'm not so good with words but that shouldn't be a reason for me not to be accountable for my actions. The truth is I was blind to see that all your actions are in good faith. I overreacted and didn't address the issue as a mature and grown-up person, please pardon my childishness. I shouldn't have put my hands on your neck and also pushed you against the fridge, please forgive me for being violent. I shouldn't have asked you to leave anytime you want, honestly, I will be hurt if you do so because I don't just want you but I need you to stay. You have been there for me ever since Anne left, you have never complained, you take care of me as your sister I appreciate all that. However, I don't want to drag you down or burden you, anytime you feel like it's time to move to the next level of your life please don't hesitate to tell me and you also have my blessings. Last but not least, will you please forgive me?"

Although those were not so convincing words, I had tried my best, writing more than that would result in chaos and disaster. I then took the card and slid it under Lisa's door because her room was locked, this also made the situation very favorable because I couldn't imagine myself handing the card in person. I couldn't bear it if she refused to receive the card, judging her personality she kind of have a vengeful side and she might try to do anything possible to make me feel her pain. I then texted her a message.

(Tasha's text message to Lisa)

My actions could be unforgivable but please allow me to apologize. I can not be able to express how sorry I am but may we talk when you get home. You may choose to reply to me now it's okay too.

I sent the message with my hands shaking and sweating, it showed that it was delivered and I waited for an hour and no reply came…

CHAPTER FIVE LOADING…..