CHAPTER TWELVE

"I shouldn't have run out of the party like a fool in love! It just makes him feel like he has control over my feelings. I feel so bad," she sighed in frustration on her bed, unable to sleep.

Desperate to reclaim her dignity, she continuously searched for tactics that will cut down his ego.

Her phone rang, displaying a strange number.

Tentatively, she answered, "Hello? Rosalie Anderson here."

"Raymond Smith speaking," came the unexpected reply.

She gasped, wondering why he was calling after the embarrassing incident.

Clearing her throat, she tactfully asserted, "As you can see, Raymond, I don't like to be disturbed while I'm working. I'll call you back when I remember." She disconnected the line, smiling at her attempt to convey indifference.

Later, Juliana barged into her room. "Victor was just gisting with I and Fabian about how you crushed heavily on Sylvia's son. Tell me about it". She bounced on the bed.

Rosa grit her teeth. "I will kill Victor".

Juliana rolled her eyes. "Rosa, is twenty eight not too old to be confused about the man you want or crushing on every man you meet?".

Rosa bit her lip. "Mum, it is just that I am always jumping into Raymond and anytime we see each other, we are never really sweet to each other like I and Joshua. Tonight, the way he looked at me when our eyes met? It was another personality. I couldn't even concentrate on the dance! Mother, my heart was beating so fast that I thought I will die!".

"How exactly does your heart beat anytime you are with Joshua?".

"My heart beats in a subtle way when I see Joshua. My heart dances at the sight of him".

"What about Raymond?".

"I really don't know mother".

Juliana nodded thoughtfully. "Raymond gives you goosebumps and Joshua gives you peace. Go for the person that makes you feel at peace. Goosebumps will not last forever but peace will".

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"Yes, if you cry out for discernment,

And lift up your voice for understanding,

-- Proverbs 2:3

If you seek her as silver,

And search for her as for hidden treasures;

-- Proverbs 2:4

Then you will understand the fear of the Lord

And find the knowledge of God"

-- Proverbs 2:5

He closed his eyes after reciting those three verses, recalling Natasha's elegant joyous singing to God.

However, his mind incessantly flashed back to the other woman – the one who had touched his shoulder with a beautiful soul, innocence in her eyes akin to that of an adventurous teenager.

Despite attempting to focus on thoughts of Natasha, Rosa's presence lingered like a persistent wind.

He had desired a woman with a calm personality, yet Rosa was the opposite.

Perplexed, he questioned why he still craved her.

He had prayed they would never meet again, yet he kept encountering her in unexpected places.

Raymond pondered the conflict between loving with intentions and the supernatural longing he felt.

His contemplation was interrupted as his mother entered the room without knocking. "You seem to be deep in thought, Raymond."

"Mother, what if you have a particular spec in mind and your spec comes to your face but you are longing for someone that doesn't suit your spec list?".

Sylvia frowned slightly. "You like Rosa. She is an illegitimate child".

He gasped.

He absolutely had no idea that she was a love child. She must have gone through a lot.

"I actually recommended your studio for Natasha Edward. She was looking for where to produce her song. Did she come?".

"Yes mum. She is very beautiful. A pure virtuous woman ".

"Why is your interest in Rosa blocking the desire you already feel for Natasha?".

"Rosa has flaws...visible flaws but it doesn't feel like the one that I cannot handle. She feels so real...genuine...".

"What about Natasha? No flaws?".

"She is so flawless...".

"...but a virtuous woman shouldn't have flaws. Rosa is obviously not a virtuous woman".

"A virtuous woman has flaws...her flaws can be tamed by the right man".

"So, do you think you can tame Rosa's flaw?".

He shrugged. "I have flaws too. If others can tolerate me, why can't I work on tolerating others?".

She grit her teeth. "You have fallen in love with that girl ".

"I have not!".