Desperation

Hitsu head spun as he ran, his thoughts screaming as loud as his beating heart. No matter what Hitsu tried to think his brain forced his thoughts back to how helpless he truly felt. Positive thoughts felt extinct as Hitsu searched his mind for a solution to his problems only to find nothing. It didn't matter what Hitsu wanted, all he was receiving was despair.

"Hitsu!"

"What are we going to do?" Hitsu thought.

"Hitsu!"

"What can we do?"

"Hitsu!"

"Can we do anything?"

"Hitsu!" Nox shouted as she grabbed his shoulder.

The sudden grip broke Hitsu from his thoughts and forced him to come to a stop. Hitsu turned quickly to face the others. Nox, Enai, and Jinsuke all stood breathing heavily, their faces holding looks of concern.

"Hitsu, did you hear us?" Nox asked worriedly.

"Ah... No, I didn't... Sorry," Hitsu responded.

"We said that we need a plan," Nox repeated.

"A plan?" Hitsu asked

"Yeah," Enai said, "We won't be much help at the evacuation area. We would pretty much just be police officers guiding traffic."

"Yeah," Hitsu agreed, "You have a good point."

"That means our only options are to beat that shadow or slow it down enough that everyone can evacuate safely," Jinsuke said.

"The problem is that we don't have a way to beat that thing," Hitsu said as he thought carefully, "we landed plenty of blows but that thing has barely slowed down."

"We could try and contain it again," Nox proposed, "but it would probably just break out again."

"So what can we do?" Enai asked.

"The way I see it... We can't do anything," Hitsu said coldly.

"What?" Jinsuke said surprised.

"You want us to just give up?" Nox asked shocked.

"It's not that," HItsu said, "I just can't see a way out of this where we win."

"What do you mean?" Enai asked, her voice filled with fear and disbelief.

"We can't beat the shadow and we can't contain it," Hitsu explained, "All we can do is fight it."

"So you think we will lose if we keep fighting?" Nox asked.

"I don't think we'll lose... I think we'll die," Hitsu said with a grim look on his face.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"D-d-die?" Nox said after an extended silence.

"Yes," Hitsu said sadly, "all of us will die."

"What makes you so sure?" Jinsuke asked weakly.

"I already said we can't win," Hitsu explained, "So if we all fight we are all destined to lose."

"You think that if we lose... We'll die?" Enai asked.

"Do you think this thing will show us mercy?" Hitsu asked bluntly.

The silence that followed answered his question for the group.

"So here's what I see happening," Hitsu said, "We end up joining Sel and battle until we can't anymore. Our only hope is that we buy enough time for stronger reinforcements to come."

"We have to die and hope somebody else can win?" Nox asked weakly.

"We're going to die for a hopeful wish?" Enai asked sadly.

"Do stronger enforcements even exist?" Jinsuke asked, "Will our sacrifice even help?"

The three turned to Hitsu for answers but he had none.

"I don't know," Hitsu replied, "I just don't know."

Those words let the cruel reality of the situation sink in. There were no guarantees, there's was only dwindling hope and growing despair, everything to lose and little to gain, lives to end and nothing to begin, this was the truth. The only thing to break the group from their dark thoughts was a flash of red light from the giant shadow's direction.

"Sel!" Hitsu said as he quickly realized the light was from his friend's flames.

Everyone looked to see Sel jump backward onto the city block they stood on and the giant shadow slowly following. Sel's face held a pained expression as the giant shadow's advance forced him back. In the midst of their despair, the group had failed to notice the sound of the giant shadow had grown steadily closer.

"No way," Enai said in disbelief, "It's already gotten this far?"

"Sel looks hurt," Jinsuke said, "we have to help him."

"Sel!" Hitsu shouted, "Get out of there!"

Sel looked over his shoulder and noticed his friends standing nearby. With a frustrated growl, Sel sent forth a wall of flames in front of him to slow the shadow's advance before turning and running to the group. When he reached them Sel nearly collapsed from exhaustion but caught himself and forced himself to stand.

"Please tell you guys have a plan," Sel said between tired breaths.

Receiving no answer, Sel let out a frustrated cry.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Sel cried out, "How the hell do we beat this thing!"

"We can't," Enai said bluntly.

"What the hell do you mean?" Sel asked angrily, "Are you guys just giving up?"

As he looked at the faces of his friends Sel quickly realized that they were. They hadn't given up the fight, but given up on their chances of winning, of surviving.

"No way," Sel said in disbelief, "you really guys don't have a plan? There isn't any way to stop this thing."

Sel's answer consisted of lowered heads and pained looks, an answer he didn't want to receive.

"Damn it," Sel said angrily, "if only there was some way we could just blow this thing away."

"Blow it away?" Hitsu said as his eyes widened, "Wait a minute."

"Did you think of something?" Nox asked excitedly.

"We might not be able to beat this thing in one shot," Hitsu said as he raised his head, "but Master Takeshi could."

"He can?" Enai asked.

"He's that powerful?" Jinsuke asked.

"Yes," Hitsu asked, "he's on a quest right now, but he should be on his way back by now. If you guys split up and look for him, you could find him in no time."

"But what about you?" Nox asked concerned.

"I'll stay here," Hitsu replied, "somebody has to hold this thing off."

"That thing is too strong," Enai argued.

"This is the only way!" Hitsu countered.

"We don't even know what this guy looks like," Sel said.

"A drunk hobo with long hair," Hitsu replied.

The argument was cut short by the giant shadow's foot slamming into the ground. The group looked to see it had made its way past Sel's wall of flames and would soon reach them.

"Go!" Hitsu commanded, "Hurry!"

Eyes darted from one pair to another and silence followed. After a few moments Nox spoke.

"Promise me you'll be okay," she said to Hitsu.

"I promise," was all Hitsu said in response.

After one more short silence, Hitsu was alone. Hitsu carefully took off his jacket and neatly folded it before gently tossing it to the side. He stared up at the giant shadow with a saddened grin.

"Thank you guys," Hitsu said knowing they couldn't hear them, knowing they were out of sight and earshot. "Thank you for joining the guild, and for a moment helping my dream come true. Thank you for trusting me, following me, and believing in me. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for following this plan that was failed from the beginning. Thank you for leaving me behind despite seeing the flaws in this plan. Thank you for putting your faith in me. Thank you for listening to me... Because I don't want you all to see this... Today I'm going to die...

"...But I'm making sure this thing dies with me."

...

End of Episode 45