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Valkyrie Smash

Sam Sanderson is envied by many for his job, however he himself didn't seem to like it much. Due to his expertise in nanotechnology he was tasked with monitoring the state the Valkyries, humanity's strongest weapons who all just happened to be made into gorgeous females. Forbidden from even touching any of them, Sam spends his days in agony watching flowers he couldn't hope to touch. However one day all of that seemed to change. His luck recieves a massive boost, but with it came new dangers, more responsibilities and conspiracies knocking on his door one after the other. Finding himself diving head first into an inter-dimensional mess, Sam realizes that sleeping with robots was the least of his concerns.

Nomanalive · Sci-fi
Not enough ratings
385 Chs

Report.

Once Zero Three had left the lab, Sam just sat there staring blankly at the wall. The words said by the young Valkyrie were shocking and took time to process, and when he was done the terror he felt multiplied tenfold.

Zero Three always had somewhat of a sharp tongue, however, this was the first time she had gone this far. He felt the contempt in her voice. Her dissatisfaction with the current state was clear.

'That's it…' Sam thought, turning to the terminal to start working on his report. 'Something definitely is wrong with them! There is no way that was normal!'

If there was one sign that an AI was about to go out of control then it would be them looking down on humans while showing signs of contempt toward the way they're being used.

Zero Three refused to take his advice believing she knew better, and though that was indeed true, the way she delivered it was worrying.

As he wrote his report Sam made sure to mention the strange behaviors the Valkyries were showing. Of course, he remembered to change a few things about what happened with Nine, however, he repeatedly stressed out how the walking weapons were acting out of the ordinary.

Once he was done he pressed send and got up, gathered his things, and quickly left the lab. There was no telling how the Resistance headquarters would react to his report. At best, they might send some replacements as they worked on resetting the three Valkyries. If destroying them is the only way to avoid complications then that would be the preferred course of action.

'Better safe than sorry… '

Even as he thought that to himself, Sam couldn't stop the guilt that slowly tightened its grasp on his heart.

~◇~

After thinking everything through more thoroughly, doubts about whether sending that report was a good idea started to occupy Sam's mind. One of the things he failed to account for was that it wouldn't be strange for the higher-ups to pin the blame on him, saying his incompetence was what caused all of it, but that wasn't what bothered him the most.

Ironically, it was the chance that the HQ might take his report seriously that was the source of his unrest. If that were to happen and the three Valkyries were deemed a threat, it is practically guaranteed that they would cease to exist as they are.

He remembered Nine's warm smile and Five's blushing face. Even Zero Three who did nothing but annoy him, the thought of her existence being erased made him feel horrible.

'Maybe I shouldn't have done it after all…'

"Doctor? Is something wrong?"

Hearing a voice addressing him, Sam looked up. It was Sergeant Kurokami Shizuru, the raven haired Asian woman he usually shares his meals with.

The fact that he doesn't remember when he had made it to the cafeteria, let alone when she arrived, told of how stressed and tired he really was. Dealing with the human-like weapons puts a heavy toll on his mind and that's without considering the need to constantly control himself around them.

"Nothing..." Sam answered, poking a small piece of vegetables with his fork. "I'm just… a little tired, that's all."

"You didn't get much rest since yesterday, huh?" Pausing for a moment, Shizuru then added. "I've heard about what happened. Is Unit Zero Three alright?"

"Yes… the restoration process was successful. She should have no trouble carrying out her duties as usual."

"I see…"

For a couple of minutes, the two ate their food in silence. As if tired of pretending, Shizuro let out a long sigh, showing how stressed out she was as well.

"You're worried about it too, huh?" Sam asked.

"You could say that." She replied. "We've been on high alert in case another Calamity shows up. Thankfully nothing happened."

"Those things keep popping up out if nowhere," Sam said, gritting his teeth. "Seriously, how do we still not know what hell hole spits them out?"

"Yeah, it would be nice if we could go on the offensive from time to time. though the Valkyries would be doing most of the fighting."

The two sighed at the same time, their fatigue becoming more apparent. Shizuru glanced over the cafeteria. Normally it would be crowded around this hour, but currently, none of the tables were full.

The region guarded by the forty sixth base was supposed to be one of the safest parts of the frontlines, it's for that reason only three Valkyries were assigned to it by the headquarters. A B class Calamity paying them a visit was enough to rob most soldiers of their appetite, but things got much worse once they heard about one of the Valkyries being injured in battle.

"Well, I guess it's our fault for getting too lax." Sam said.

"Yep. We should consider ourselves lucky that the damage was limited to just one Valkyrie."

It would've been a nightmare if all of them ended up in the same state as Zero Three. The base would've been defenseless until reinforcements arrived, and in the meantime, the weak useless humans would be left to fend for themselves.

The two finished their meal in silence. To Sam's surprise, Jordan didn't show up this time. Maybe even a pushy guy like him knew when it wasn't a good time to be a pain in the neck.

Though he didn't know if he would be able to, Sam decided to go back to his room and get some sleep. He remembered the book Shizuru asked him for and promised to bring it to her the next morning, but the Asian girl said he didn't have to. It would've been impossible to enjoy it under the current circumstances anyway.

The walk back was a slow one. Entering his room, the first thing he did was take a shower. He then brushed his teeth and went to bed. As expected, despite being exhausted Sam was unable to sleep right away. Zero Three's words kept repeating in his head again and again not allowing him a moment of rest.

'Then why don't you go fight them yourself?'

'All you humans do is complain.'

'You're all weak pathetic bags of flesh. Especially you, old man.'

'Keep your advice to yourself next time.'

'Though in your case it's nothing but bones.'

"Am I really that skinny?"

It sounded like the young Valkyrie was tired of being told how she should fight, or maybe fighting at all. The more he thought about it the more stupid he felt for telling her to be more careful. The Valkyries were created to fight Calamities, after all.

"Maybe I should apologize to her…"

A few minutes passed and he was still unable to sleep. Lying down didn't help so got up and turned the lights on.

The first thing that caught his attention were the two books he had brought with him that morning. Having nothing better to do he picked up the one titled Valkyrie Smash and smiled despite himself before opening it and flipping through the pages.

It was bad. He had read most of it as he waited for Zero Three's treatment to be done, and as expected, the quality was trash to say the least.

Putting aside all the typos, grammatical errors, and misspellings, the plot itself was nothing but an elaborate porn script.

The protagonist of the story is a man in his thirties and a part of the maintenance crew tasked with taking care of the weapons the Valkyries use. That alone was evidence that the author knew nothing about how the Resistance bases are run. At the start of the book said protagonist has a few interactions with the beautiful human-like weapons, then, using their lack of experience with humans to his advantage, he manages to trick them into performing sexual acts with him. By the end of the book the Valkyries who had learned what pleasure was fell in love with the protagonist, and from there, their secret relationship somehow continued without anyone ever finding out.

The whole book felt like it was nothing but the sexual fantasies of some horny teenager, however despite it being that bad Sam found himself reading through it again. The reason was simple; it was just pure dumb fun.

Going through it again he felt a smile creep on his face. He read through the first chapters, intending to stop after a few pages, but soon he found himself flipping through them at a quick pace. Unlike his previous readthroughs, something about the book had caught his attention prompting him to go back to the start and begin reading through it again.

"This is…"

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