Ursula. N. Owen

My name is Danica Logan. I find myself sitting here on my sofa filling my face with ice cream and beer while watching T.V shows alone. My mood is dark again, like most of my life, as I try to get over yet another parting as the last of my pack found her mate and finished moving out of the spare room. Who am I kidding, I never had a pack of my own. The five of us were mere University students that found solace in each other's company and they strangely liked to follow me around. Something about me made them feel safe without their packs nearby.

Although I am half werewolf, I do not have a wolf and I don't know who my birth pack was. My mother always told me they were from the east coast, but we were never likely to go see them until I was old enough to protect myself. That had set a number of alarm-bells off in my head and I hadn't asked any more. And now, I won't get the chance.

I flicked through a few channels but nothing took my interest. Sadly I turned off the TV. It was not the same watching these movies on my own. I tossed the empty ice cream tub into the bin and forced myself to stand. I staggered to the kitchen and looked at my diary spread out on the table. I had already finished all my assignments for both courses I was currently studying for the rest of the year and there was no social events to get my mind off things. The second key to my apartment sat guiltily on the table and still held Megan's scent.

I turned away with a sniff and shuddered at my smell and went to the bathroom for a much needed shower. Tomorrow was Saturday. After the break I was planning to go to my course head and hand in my assignments and see if I could sit any exams early as I was growing impatient with Uni life. They were already aware of my aptitude.

I turned on the shower and stepped under the water letting my clothes fall in a heap. My main problem was my life lacked direction. I had a difficult childhood and was emancipated at fifteen years old. Against all odds I graduated high school with honors, at the age of sixteen, and had the highest grades in the history of the school. I had taken on every class including extracurricular activities and had excelled. After that I was admitted to one of the most prestigious universities in the city with a full scholarship. I had no idea what I wanted to study back then, so the Chancellor of the university decided to let me study a few and varied degree courses and once I had finished them I could decide which path my life should take. However, two years and eight degree courses later I still couldn't decide so I winged it and studied both accounting and forensic science. Now my third year.

I ran the shampoo through my thick red wavy locks. Looking in the mirror I was often reminded of the character Merida from Brave... I thank god I was born before that movie came out or my mother would have called me Merida as she loved the movie.

I gave a sigh and rinsed my hair. I'm twenty one and alone. My life was dark and everyone seemed to be moving on around me and I just stayed in place and bad habits and desires were beginning to bubble to the surface. I touched a few scars that covered my body and sucked at my lip. My secret double life took its toll on me.

I finished washing up and stood naked in the bathroom as I dried myself. When I saw the time flash on the clock on the wall I grunted. It was still early, 8:00PM early, but I decided to go to bed and set about preparing the house for the night. I put my dirty clothes and towel into the washing machine and staggered to the bedroom looking for my favorite set of fluffy pajamas. I slipped on the shorts but the damn top alluded me.

"Fuck it." I muttered and got into bed pulling the sheets up around my neck and snuggling down.

It was dark and I was sitting alone on a pew. In front of me like a strange, disjointed vision was a dark red wood coffin with white flowers glowing eerily on either side of it. My breathing grew heavy as the sound of a hospital echoed around me and machines beeped. The words of the doctor echoed in my head as the steady beeping stopped and a long tone rang out.

"I'm sorry, she's gone." I heard a kid screaming and begin to sob hysterically. But soon I became aware of someone sitting next to me. It was the little girl with red hair in dark clothes all alone and we both just stared at the coffin. There was no one else there.

"Danica." Someone, I don't know who, called out to me and the little girl stood up and walked to the coffin. She was too little to see inside but climbed up onto a step to look in.

I looked down as a woman with the same red hair as me lay there as if asleep. The little girl began to fade, her please for her mummy to wake up slowly echoing in the silence. I watched for a little while unable to move.

Suddenly the woman opened her eyes and two black pools looked at me. It was like a sea of evil trying to claw out of her eyes and the mouth moved then a scream left her lips as her body lurched forward.

I awoke and looked around my room. My heart was beating loudly and sweat beaded my forehead. With a shaky hand I turned on the bedside light. I hadn't dreamt about my mother in a long time, and of course it had to be her funeral and what the hell was that at the end? I sighed and flopped back.

My mother had been murdered when I was ten and I had been hospitalized in the attack after witnessing the whole thing. In the end no one was caught and I was an orphan sent to live in a foster home. One of many I would know.

The funeral had been quiet as my mother didn't have much money or friends. But a man she worked for, Mr. Spencer a lawyer, took care of the legal proceedings for free and managed to get something together. He also opened and account for me and organized the storage of my mother's possessions.

I still remember the church. It had been deathly silent and decorated with simple white flowers that almost seemed to glow due to the drastic contrast against the dark wood of the walls and furniture of the church. But above all else I remembered the lonely and empty feeling as only a few people from my mum's various jobs had attended and a couple of family friends, Mr. Spencer and his wife and children anoung them.

After the service I had been taken away and that was the last time I saw my mother. It wasn't until I was old enough to ask Mr. Spencer where my mother had been buried that I was finally able to visit her grave with Harry.

I rubbed my face and listened to a howl outside and frowned. It was one of the Watchdog boys alerting the rest to trouble in the city. I let a sigh leave my lips and got up to look out over the city from my apartments vantage point. My apartment had been built on the highest point in the city and was the highest building. From the rooftop you could see all around the city and to it's limits on three sides. Sometimes guests to my apartment would complain about being so high up as they could feel the building swaying but I liked being on the very top floor.

I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist as another howl echoed up. There seemed to be above average activity in the city lately. It was at times like this I really needed to blow of some steam and do something.

'Why did I give up again?' I rubbed my face and sat back on the bed. 'Oh yes... Megan had suspected something...' I sighed

"Just one day at a time..." Slowly I lay back and closed my eyes hoping for a dreamless sleep.