Bridging the Gap between Two Notes

MJ's POV

"Uy ikaw ah! Ang taray mo/niyo kanina ni Louie!" Carla uttered.

"What do you mean by that?" I said innocently.

"Seriously babae?!" She sounded dismay.

"What? We were just singing a song and that's all! No more, no less."

"Oh gosh! Can't you feel it? The way he look at you, the way you guys sing that song and oh don't forget the blending of your voices, is equals to CHEMISTRY!" She said over reacting again.

"I don't know what are you talking about but if I were you, Carla, I'll just open my notes and study. "

"Nye nye. Lagi ka namang ganyan eh! You always distanced yourself sa mga taong gusto kang tulungan best. Believe me or not, kailangan mo ng tulong." She said sounding worried.

"Well you know what Carla, I don't need someones'help. You and my family are already enough."

"Hayy, bat mo ba nilalagyan ng gap ang buhay mo best? It's been 14 years nang mangyari ang insidenteng yun, time to give yourself some space and freedom to make the things that makes you happy. It's time to move on best. You deserve it." She said.

I let out a deep sigh and close my eyes. How can things be so convoluted and difficult to bear?

"If only I can go back to the time when things are the same and usual, I would want to. But things right now are different and it's not easy." I said it in a very low voice. I saw her sigh.

I'm sorry, Carla. I know you're right and you only think of what's the best for me but it's just that can't do it this time.

I know I will be able to surpass all these things, but it requires time to do so.

The day went as usual. But the feeling is quite different. I mean, there's something in my heart that opens a crumb than the prevalent. I don't want to make any sequitur at all, but whatever it is, I need to stop it before it's too late.

As much as possible, I promised to myself that I wouldn't attach myself too much to people if it's only temporarily. One heartbreak is enough, there's no reason to adjoin with another one.

As I reached home, nadatnan ko ang aking mga magulang na nagmemeryenda sa may sala.

"Anak..." Tawag saakin ni Mama. Lumapit naman ako sakanya at niyakap ako.

"What's wrong mom?"

"I missed my baby girl. I missed my old MJ." I suddenly felt pricked in my heart. Guilt and forlorn heaped in me dahil hindi na nila ako gaano nakakasama at nakkwentuhan.

"Your baby girl is still here, mom. You don't have to be lonely." I said to her and hugged her more tight.

"No. My baby girl is not here. You really changed, MJ. You're not the old MJ I used to know. " My mom said and began to cry.

"Anak, please bumalik ka na. We missed you so much!" Even my dad pleased me already.

I choose not to say anything, because saying something won't do anything neither comfort them.

I'm sorry mom and dad. I'm so sorry if I can't bring back the MJ you once had.

I'm so sorry If I created a gap between people who truly loves me.

I'm so sorry If I had to do this because this is the only way I can protect myself.

Protect myself from people who will just hurt me.

Protect myself from people who will betray me.

And.....

Protect myself from people who will just leave me after I fall hard.