Where did it all go wrong? (1)

John walks alone with no direction in his mind. He's fine when you take a look at him compared to back then. There were no traces of injuries on his body, out of all the days, this was the day when he walked to his home with no injuries, but that is his physical state, not his mental state.

His mind was drowning in thoughts that he loathed, his fight with Seraphina earlier is what keeps haunting back to his mind.

.....

At first, he was happy. Happy that his best friend have finally began to talk to him after a week of her ignoring him, leaving him cold. This left him feeling lonely, thinking that his best friend may not want involved herself to him any longer.

Or maybe she found out the truth. That could be the plausible explanation since she's that smart to notice things. But John didn't accepted that idea, thinking that maybe it was all just his paranoia creeping up to him. After all, he made sure that Seraphina will never know that he's Joker.

Joker. The Shadow King that was rampaging throughout the school, who left his victims bloodied and traumatized, leaving them on a half-dead state, the one who terrorizes everyone and spread fears among the peers.

But Seraphina will never know that. Or does she?

"No, she couldn't. I mean, I'm the 'cripple', the one who gets bullied by everyone to vent their inferiority towards the High Tiers. I am that cripple." John thought to himself as he shook his head to clear his thoughts and followed behind her.

As he follows her to a classroom, he did noticed there was something strange about her but he ignored it thinking that it was all just in his head.

"Don't think it like that. She's our best friend, she stuck besides us ever since. She's not like the others." He thought to himself as they stop at their tracks.

They were a distance apart, a few feet away with only the two of them inside the empty classroom.

No students or teachers.

Just them.

He stared at her as she stared right back at him. This was a feeling all familiar to him. Those ocean-like eyes that had courage, but what was that courage for? Her body that is filled with determination, what is she determine for? As if, she's ready to see things through the end.

This left John confused, but a thought slowly creeps up on him and he quickly shoved it back somewhere in his head.

Was he denying it? That maybe Seraphina knew all along and it's the reason why she was ignoring him for a week?

No. How could she know?

"Yeah, that's right. She doesn't know," He assured himself, thinking that maybe she just has something to say that is not related to Joker, "Maybe she has something to say! Maybe I'm just getting worked up for nothing! That's right, I should keep calm and try not to do anything irrational." He reassured himself one last time before initiating a talk.

Everything was silent, and since the tension between them is somehow hard to breathe on, he figured he at least drop a joke to lighten the mood.

"Woah, you weren't kidding about a private conversation." He said looking at the empty classroom. "Not even over a walk or drinks? It's making me kinda nervous, haha."

He wasn't lying about that. He is nervous, after weeks of no contact of each other, and now suddenly his best friend wanted a private conversation with him. It's like an officer interrogating a suspect.

But of course, Seraphina just as usual, did not go along with his antics and got straight to the point. "Drop the act, John. This Joker thing needs to stop." She said while crossing her arms.

This incited a reaction from John but only for a split second as he quickly devised a lie.

Keeping his cool, he replied, "Sera, I already told you didn't I? I'm not Joker."

But it was quickly shot down as Sera replied, "I saw your fight against the Royals."

"My fight? That guy had a mask on. It could've been anyone." He lied as if it was second nature for him.

But Sera didn't budge, "I recognized you," she said, "Not from your face, but from your posture, your technique, and everything else."

John was silent. He didn't know what to say, does this mean he was caught in the act?

"We've known each other for so long." Sera said as she scoots over to John, hoping that she can save her best friend. "It was obvious–," she wasn't able to finish her sentence as John lashes out.

"How many times do I have to say it? I'm not Joker!" This left Seraphina surprised by John's sudden outburst. "If we've known each other for so long then why won't you just fucking believe me?!"

Seraphina backs away as John continued to ramble on, "Hello? It's me John! I'm a Cripple and I don't have an ability!"

Seraphina listened but she already knew the truth but she figured that maybe what he needs is someone who would listen to him and so she stayed. A distance away for safety measures, while John rambled on about himself, everything about him that Seraphina already knew, or at least, the 'John' that Sera know.

"But have you seen the kinda shit Joker has done? That's not me!" He said as he curled up his hands to form a fist. "Would I act like that? Do you really believe I'd do stuff like that?"

Seraphina tried to interject only for John to placed both of his hands on her shoulder as he beg for her. "Sera... I don't care what anyone else thinks. Everyone else can think I'm shit. But you have to believe in me!"

"I'm not Joker. I'm not a monster, okay?"

She kept quiet, not because she has nothing to say but to observe his behavior. This was the first time she's seeing him like this.

And where did the word 'monster' came? Is he really trying to convince her? Or convince himself?

She couldn't hold herself back seeing her best friend's state, "Listen, John. You have to stop lying. If there's something wrong, you can talk to me about it! Denying won't help–"

But as usual, she was cut off once again as John gritted his teeth and say his piece. "I'm not denying anything. I'm just telling it as it is!"

This left Seraphina with no choice but to spill everything since this will at least give her a chance to explain. "John, I already know everything. New Boston, your expulsion, how you're secretly a high-tier..."

"No..." He uttered to himself as his grip on her shoulders loosen.

His hand formed into a fist as he tried to hold himself back. Gritting his teeth so he could prevent himself from lashing out.

"No. No. No. No. No!" He tries to deny it but... How could he when she knew it all along? "How did she find out?"

His eyes were unfocused as it stares at the ground while he was lost in thought. Meanwhile, Seraphina finds her best friend's state worryingly. She doesn't know what goes through his head but what she said incited a reaction, one that she doesn't like.

While all of this is happening, John was still deep inside his head as he struggles to know what is then and now as memories from the past and present is converging into one.

"She wasn't supposed to know. She was never supposed to know." He said to himself one last time as the word he hated. No, he loathed throughout this year's popped into his head.

Seraphina's face and another mint-haired girl slowly merged into one as both of them said the same thing.

"Monster."