Chapter 4 Memories part 1

After changing Amanda's diaper and putting her to sleep, with nothing left to do but stare into space she couldn't help but go down memory lane.

She remembered the night she first met cole . It had been at a bar in the suburbs of Lagos . She had gone on a vacation to visit some family relations that lived in lagos. Her mother had just died when she was in her third year of university and as a way to help her get her mind off the death of her mother , her cousins had taken her outing.

Her mother had been struggling with cancer for a long . The first time, she had recovered with the help of chemotherapy and surgeries to kill the cancerous tumor but the process of the treatment had been painful and taken a toll on her once radiant mother who became a shadow of her former self. She started loosing hair, her hair coming off like flowers been plucked  from it's stem, deep sunken cheeks and became as pale as a ghost. But her wonderful, strong mother had endured the agonizing pains,  and  she recovered . They were so happy the day she was released from the hospital and allowed to go home. They had thought the worst was over. But after three years she relapsed, this time worse than the first time.Her body deteriorated faster and was not responding to the treatments  this time. The doctors had said  because it was her second time it would be much worse than her first time ,  and they couldn't guarantee she would recover. They told us to prepare our hearts for the worst. Her mother had spent the last 7 months of her life in a hospital bed. During her visits to the hospital they had bounded , spent their final days together reliving  happy memories. But towards the end of her time she began to slip in and out of consciousness and on the morning of her mother's final day on earth, she had come to visit as usual, they had talked,gisted , even laughed at a funny memory. Then all of a sudden her mother had become sober, trying hard not grimace from her pain. She asked her if something was wrong but her mother had just smiled and shook her head no. Then she had held my hand, stroking the back of my palms lovingly , and began telling me to take care of my father, his favourite foods and that if she died we should be strong for each other and that i shouldn't cry too much or be sad because she was going to a better place to be with her saviour where she could no longer feel pain . By then I was already crying and telling her to stop saying such things . The heart beat monitor started beeping loudly and my mother took her last breath still holding my hand. I shouted for the doctors that came rushing into the hospital ward to save my mother , while hugging my mother tightly and wailing, telling her not to leave me . The doctors tried to pull me away from her but i clutched her even tighter and wouldn't let go . It took a lot of effort to drag me away from her.

A week later she buried in family home. The rest of my days had been a blur , not going to school ,not eating, not doing anything at all but staring into space until my father suggested I go visit my aunty's family in Lagos to spend some time with my cousins who were like siblings to me . Being an only child i spent most of my childhood holidays with them, I was so close to them especially the eldest daughter because we were age mates and we did every thing together. So my father assumed being with them would have a good effect on me . 'She scoffs'. How he came to regret that decision .

After a week with them , i hadn't improved much, i had started eating, because my uncle in-law insisted i ate with them at the dining room as a family . So i would come down for breakfast, lunch and dinner and join them for meals but i barely ate anything and the moment i was done i went straight back to my room and stared at my phone all day as a way to cope with my loss.

Until one day my cousins decided that they were tired of my brooding and I needed to get out of my room and get some fresh air. So they had taken her to this bar near where they lived.

She remembered the place had being rowdy and full of happy people dancing and drinking, she not being used to the life of partying or going to clubs was content to be left at the drinks bar while her cousins went off dancing. She ordered a strong alcoholic drink and downed it in one go, the burning sensation at the back of her throat a welcome distraction from her misery. Then she had ordered another and another and before long she was tipsy and still drinking. Not that she was an alcoholic or anything like that but she had been trying to drown herself in alcohol in an attempt to forget the pain of loosing her mother.

Then this handsome man walked up to her and sat on the stool next to her.

They hadn't spoken at first just sat in companionable silence then he had asked me my name and from there we started discussing.