Maybe it's love

"I will kick you out right now if you don't shut up" I say roughly, my voice betraying my true emotions.

"I'm sorry, I'll shut up now" his grin wide on his angelic face.

I go upstairs and lock my bedroom door behind me. I throw my self on my bed feeling weirdly excited and nervous. I hate this feeling, I hate how perfect it makes the world look, I hate how colourful it makes my life.

I grip my stomach tight, digging my nails deep into my flesh, i hate how he makes me feel.

I sit up and stare at the door wondering what he is upto, 'ofcourse he is sleeping' he isn't a freak like me.

Is Zachary inlove with me? Is that the reason why he so readily agreed to sleep with me and why he was waiting outside my house just now. I take deep breaths trying to steady my heartbeat, why now, what changed?

Or has he always been inlove with me and only used the bullying to cover up, is that what he meant when he said he was going to be in my life one way or another?

The questions keep coming to my mind and try as I may, i do not arrive at any answers.

I close my eyes and try to sleep but fail so I get up from the bed and tiptoe down the stairs. Zachary is lying down on the couch with his eyes closed and a content smile on his face, I know I shouldn't be here but instead of leaving I tiptoe closer to him. My heart does flips in my chest causing my heart to beat uncontrollably, I wrap my hand around my chest in an attempt to calm it down scared that he might hear and wake up. What will he think of me if he finds out how smitten I am by him.

His lips are red and thick, his straight nose is at a perfect ninety degrees to his upper lip, his thick long lashes flutter slightly. His light brown skin calls to me silently. I move my hands slowly to touch that delicate skin but stop half way, what the fuck am I doing here?

I take a quick step back and turn on my heels but a firm grip holds me in place, I gasp in shock and turn my hand back, my eyes landing on Zacharys honey brown ones. How long has he been awake?

He directs my hand to his face placing my palm on his warm cheek and holding it there.

I stay rooted at the spot, my hand on his face, my eyes wide open in shock for a full minute before my natural defensiveness shoots into action and I pull back my hand forcibly surprising him. He sits up with super human speed looking hurt and betrayed. I have seen this look in his eyes before, it is the exact look he had in his eyes that day all those years ago in that past that I wish never belonged to me.

I turn and run upstairs bolting the door.

My never failing alarm clock wails out loudly at exactly 7am, I was only able to get about 3hours of sleep.