Questioning God's existence! Is God real? Or just a mere delusion?

After waking up early, me and Sei head for the kingdom's capital.

Its Sunwarmth city

The place has also recovered from its damage.

Without taking any detours, we immediately go to the grand library. The grand library is a pretty big building that is full of books. The building is about 100 meters tall; its form is round, and on every floor, there is a terrace. It has gigantic glass windows covered by see-through curtains.

We then enter and look for the books that we need.

First, I look for books that correspond to the definition of magic. However, luck sure is giving us a hard time. There are no books relating to the topic.

I also look for the location of the House Of Magic, a family of hope and the future, but...

It only darkens my eyes because of disappointment.

I stood up and saw the library's whole view, then said to myself,

With these numbers of books, it will be very impossible if I don't see at least one book, right?

I uttered it, thinking I would be able to find at least one book that is related to a higher authority, which is God.

I then let out a breath and...

I begin my search from one place to another. I keep looking at the divider's categories and sorting. Carefully reading the sort type, I might find something slightly related to the topic.

Five hours have passed; you can see me at a table where my elbow is resting. My hands are holding each other with my head leaning on them.

The look in my eyes is lifeless, and my whole body is moving upside-down because I am successively breathing due to the tiring search.

"No way, this can't be; how come?"

I look outside through the widely opened window.

There is no book about how the world is created!

The warm sunlight is penetrating the thin white woven curtain and reaching me.

No one; there is no at least one person who gives time to writing a book about the creator. No one bothers to know about the origin of the world. Nobody is surprised by how well-organized the nature of the world is.

After thinking about why there is no record of God even once in history, I muttered:

"What is this? Is there really a God or not?"

I had thought about it because if there really is a god, hasn't he already pushed himself to be recognized by the people? Thus, having a worshiper or two?

Wait a minute. Could it be that I am the only one who knows God?

Come to think of it, on our way here, we didn't even see a single church or such.

But it's impossible; there are preachers in almost every corner of the kingdom.

Gulp

This is not good...

I walk to the terrace to look over the city, then frown as I continue.

No one among the people is paying attention!

This is bad...

No one is listening to what the preachers are reporting.

A church is a place that is built for gatherings. Inside the church, people should be discussing the great deeds of God. Even just for being amazed by his creation. Only by doing it, you can worship God, as my father said.

But if a kingdom has no worshippers, of course no one will gather, and if there are no gatherings, then there is no need for a church or gathering building.

"Is not this kingdom in dire condition?"

I uttered it as I looked at a building filled with people who were probably watching newly released movies or listening to a concert by their favorite idols.

There is also this place that they call a fan club. There, you can hear many different voices of people due to their numerous numbers.

And also, there are these noisy fans of combat contests. A sport where two combatants are fighting to earn a price.

It didn't bother me even in the slightest until now, but...

Aren't they look like worshipping those idols of theirs rather than paying attention to God?

I mean, they built gatherings for themselves and forgot about learning more about a superior being. You can see around the street, in the park, and in any other place that people are talking about topics that are not really important to life. There are those who are talking about their businesses; there are those who are talking about their idols... "sigh" ... Idols again, huh? Idols sure are being treated like gods nowadays. You can see those people arguing about which kingdom is better at creating weapons. There are these people who are praising the beautiful dresses they are purchasing. There is this guy who is having a problem with his broken equipment. Well, I guess it's not that bad because he needs it for his work to give his family a good living. From up here, I can still see many things about the peaceful kingdom's doings, and those things are not even worth mentioning.

Well...

"Who would've even cared about someone you can't even see, right?"

I muttered

"What are you saying?" Sei asks.

Oh! Did I think that out loud?

"Ahh, it's nothing... hehe."

I reply with my left hand rubbing my nape.

"How about the search?" Sei asked while putting the foods and drinks she bought on the table.

I laughed and said...

"None; it's futile; no one cares about God anymore."

Upon saying it, I frowned and thought to myself,

Or should I say, is there even a God that really exists? Or is it just a mere delusion?

I raise my head up and gaze at the sky, then continue

What are you doing...? Why are you not introducing yourself, huh? ... God?

Sei handed me an iced juice and asked

"What are we going to do, then?"

Actually, I really don't know what to do. It's not like I am doubting, but...

"Say..."

I uttered as I took the juice from Sei's hand, then continued

"How did you come to have an interest in God?"

Sei was surprised by my question.

"Huh? Uhm... It's not like I had been interested in God naturally. There is really nothing commendable to my reasons for believing in him. It's not because I have been amazed by this world or get curious about anything."

"Huh? Why then?"

I see Sei's eyes sparkle. She then turned her head to her right side with her eyes looking downward.

"It's just for a pathetic reason," she uttered.

"Huh?"

"I am just looking for help. You see, we are lacking monetary supply, though it isn't that bad, and I can't ignore my little sisters wants. Even though they aren't saying anything, it pains me knowing they desire something but can't get a hold of it. I know it's just wants and a very pathetic reason... But... Is it not possible to live in a place where there is no need for hardworking?

Tears flow from her eyes little by little, so she continues while rubbing them.

"It's not like that I am lazy; it's not that I don't want to work hard and such; it's just... I can't accept a world like this. I can't imagine seeing my family working hard racing with the different businesses of this world. What? Will the world continue like this? Doing hard work every day hoping you earn money, without knowing other people lose the lowest of the coins you earned? And seriously, there are millions of people in the world that are partaking in this race. Will the world continue like this until it crumbles to nothingness? Without even being able to rest?

I can't accept it... That is why, after realizing these things, I have come to look for the highest authority in the whole universe to seek help. "

I keep looking at Sei as she continues

Ahh... Thats it! Its confirmed! I really am an idiot...

I just catch the juice that she drops. She drops the juice because she subconsciously uses her right hand (which holds the juice) to rub her wet eyes.

Sigh. Why do I have to push my question on her? It is really something only idiots can do.

Anyway, I have to cheer her up.

"Uhm... Here...

I handed over the drink.

Please don't mind it anymore; I am really and very sorry for asking."

Sei, take the bottled juice, then continue...

"Now that I lost my family, I guess I don't need to concern myself about it anymore. Well, if I do lose all my family, Luckily you are alive."

She looks at me with her eyes partly closed, and she's smiling really wholeheartedly. Her eyes are sparkling due to her tears, and her left hand is femininely rubbing them.

This really calms me down. Seeing her heartily smile is really urging me to enhance my protection skills. I will never let her feel sad again.

Its just... How did she come to the idea that I was part of her family? Miss, You were just a regular visitor of mine, right?

Well, of course, this is only in my mind... Phew... I almost asked her... She might get sad again if she heard that. It's just… I really am wondering why she is so comfortable with me.

So her reason is how secure the world is. A pathetic reason, she said? It doesn't look like it to me. It is the most commendable reason a human could ever have for believing in God.

This world is really in chaos after all.

Is there a God? So why doesn't he make himself known and remain unknown instead? Is God ruling over the world? Then why are its people not organized and suffering from hunger, causing a race-like way of living? Does God create the world? If so, why is there a dungeon on it? Does God create the dungeon along with humans? If so, then why? Just for what reason?

This question is only the most basic one a person could have. But it seems the whole world doesn't even give it a thought.

As for me, I am still wondering how I could get stronger.

I have been looking at this billboard for awhile now, and something is bothering me.

Just who in the world is this Xirvas that is present on almost every billboard screen?