38

Samantha///

I was going to wait for Nick to come home and give him a warm hug to welcome him home  after a long day at work. I didn't expect things would turn out this way.

I can't believe this is real. I was there watching his sisters body get cold after my brother caused her death. How can fate be so cruel? Why did I have to fall for Nick? Why did I have to be the sister of the person that killed his sister?

I remember the one time Nick spoke of his sister he was so sad. I could feel his love for her too, he probably adored her.

If what Michael told me is true Nick probably married me for revenge believing I killed his sister. Nick probably hates me and has been pretending all along. The mere thought that he hates me kills me.

The idea that our love is non existent and that I am the only one who really loves him breaks my heart.

How can I forgive myself for what happened to Nicole? I could barely function before but now that I know She is Nick's sister I don't know how to process anything.

How do I look in his eyes knowing what Happened? How do we move forward knowing that I am to blame for what happened?

I wonder how Nick feels when he looks at me. He has hidden his emotions really well and was able to trick me easily.  Now everything was making sense. Why he married me, why he tried to keep a distance from me at first. Why he told me he couldn't love me...

"How do you feel?" I turn to the Doctor who was examining me. I woke up just as he arrived and felt okay physically  but Nick insisted I still get checked on.

"I feel fine."

"That's good. The reason you fainted was because of stress, your blood pressure levels were insanely high...it's not good for you or the baby."

Nick who was standing on the side to let the Doctor work freely looks visably shocked.

"Baby?!" Meisa who stood beside  Miss Sakura gasps. She looked unhappy hearing this.

I could hear and see everything happening around me but I was unable to react. I felt like my spirit left my body and I was watching everything play out.

"Doctor are you sure?"

"I'm eighty percent sure, tomorow please come to the hospital to confirm."

"S-so it's possible she isn't?!" Meisa asked with hope in her voice.

"Yes, there is a chance I am wrong but I don't think I'm wrong at all."

Nick like me said absolutely nothing. He had an unreadable expression on his face. I didn't think he was happy about this. How could he? He thinks I killed his sister.

I can't even say I am happy about this. This child won't be welcomed here. His or her own grandmother already doesn't want it to exist.

"Congratulations young master and Miss Samantha!" Miss Sakura who knew nothing about everything happily said.

The tention in the room was obvious making her stop smiling immediately.

"Take good care of yourself and rest up, I will see you tomorrow." Doctor kenji is lead out by Meisa and Miss Sakura leaving me alone with my husband.

What do you say to the man that you know hates you but you love more than anything in the entire world?

"I will go take a shower." He walks away looking like he had the entire world on his shoulders.

"Nick!" I call out to him. I get out of bed. "Nick I know you aren't happy about this...I'm sorry." I finally understood why I kept feeling hungry and emotional.

"Don't apologize. I'm sorry for my reaction, I'm just suprised." Lies.

"Nick what will we do?" I wanted to ask him, what will you do now that I am going to have your child? Will you still try to avenge your sisters death?

"We will figure everything out once doctor kenji confirms you really are pregnant."

"Okay...but Nick I am really scared." I cried.

He hugs me and although I knew this was all pretense I still felt comfort being in his arms.

"My baby is having a baby, How wonderful is that?" He says happily.

Nick I know you aren't happy and I am not angry with you. I completely understand why you feel this way and I also understand why you did what you did, I covered up someone's death for my brother, I understand what it means to love your siblings no matter what. I understand why you want revenge and I won't try to stop you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"She is definatley preganat." Doctor kenji happily said.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I felt anxious about finding out the truth. Now here I am and I feel worse. Mant questions ran through my mind.

What will happen next?

What will Nick's next move be?

What exactly does he know?

How far will he go?

"Wow, Sammy we are going to be parents!" Nick hugs me smiling. 

This morning he woke up in a better mood. He was much more excited than I was.

I feel like I am in a chess game and have to guess every move. 

Who knew why Nick was suddenly so happy.

"This is such great news." Nick continues. "The family will be so happy."

"Nick, are you really happy about this?" I ask nervously.

"Yes. Our baby will be so spoiled."

"But you-"

"Sammy, just focus on this beautiful moment okay? Don't worry about anything else." He holds my hand. "Our baby should be our only focus for now."

What about the fact that you think I killed your sister? What will happen now?

"You're right. We should focus on this beautiful moment." I give him a reassuring smile.

"You are three weeks pregnant and should take great measures to prevent yourself from stressing." The doctor tells me.

"Don't worry doc, she will be only happy and healthy." Nick confidently said.

If only I were as confident as he is. I just don't see how on earth I can relax and be at ease knowing our situation. I also can't help the awful fear building up in me. The anticipation for what Nick is going to do is killing me.

I don't know know if I can trust him or anything he says at all. It feels like we have just gotten back to where we started and I don't like it.